Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: He ignores me all the time, what should i do?

  1. #1
    sari84
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    32
    Posts
    20

    He ignores me all the time, what should i do?

    Hi everyone,
    im a 19 yr old girl, who really needs some advice about my relationship problem. i have a boyfriend, he is still 16, going on 17 this march. I dont know if it's because he is younger than me or what that he acts this way.

    anyway, we've been going out for a few months now, but all these times i feel as though i'm always the one who put the effort to make this relationship going. He simply doesnt bother calling me, or message me to know how i am. sometimes, when he text me, he asks how i am, but when i reply, he doesnt reply back. He doenst go to school anymore, he left when he was in grade 10, and now he's working full time. I must admit that his job is not an easy one, it's very physical. and that i understand that he must feel utterly tired by the time he arrives home. He doesnt work on the weekend, so i thought we could spend the weekend together, not during the weekdays.

    But he always goes for drink with his friends on friday night, and comes home in the morning. So he spends all day saturday sleeping...and sunday too. he just doesnt spend it with me.

    few times i tried to remind him that it's important to keep the communication going, if we dont have time to talk on the phone, at least we can talk when we meet. He never changed. Until one day i was so fed up with him, i told him that if he's not willing to change, we'd rather break up. He begged me to stay, so i did. But this thing is always repeated. I am so tired, i dont know what to do to make him open up himself to me.

    I feel he really loves me when we see each other, but i always know that the feeling would never last too long. i know he would simply ignore me after we both go back to our own separate home.

    He is also never on time whenever we set a time to meet up. it's always at least 1/2 hour late. it makes me feel he doesnt appreciate me.

    I know you all think that i'm wasting my time with this guy, but one thing that kept me hanging on him, is because before christmas he gave me a necklace, he told me that it was belong to his great grandma, she gave it to him when she was alive, to be given to his someone special. this present was actually a surprise present from him. He ignored me for a week before he gave it to me. That's why even though he's ignoring me for a bit more than a week now, i'm still hoping that something good should happen later. But, at the ssame time, i wonder if i'm wrong too. What if he is simply repeating his behaviour?

    Ususally when he ignores me, i always find a way to get him talk to me again. it can be texting him (asking how he is, or telling him what i've been doing), or i go to his workplace during the weekdays to give him nicotine patches to help him quit smoking, or i give him my cooking for his lunch. i make his favourite cookies and cakes, so he would be happy then he always make an effort to tet me after he finishes work. that's why i love giving him stuff like that.

    But this week, i'm just too tired (at heart), i dont want to make anymore effort to contact him, or do anything that i would normally do. I've come to a point where i just wanna leave it all up to him. If he wants this to work, it is his turn to contact me. not me all the time. i deleted his number from my phone, to stop me trying to call him again. i also haven't been giving him things at his workplace.

    I dont know what else to do, i feel hurt, feeling like he never loves me, and i dont know where this relationship is going. are we still together, or have we broken up (unofficially)? he told me once that i should never worried by wondering if he still loves me. IF he doesnt love me anymore and he wants to break up, he would tell me, as he said he's not a coward. That's why i'm confused. He hasnt told me that he wants to break up, but he's acting this way. should i break up with him or should i give him another chance?

    most of my friends tell me to stay away from him. But it's hard. I kinda hope that one day he would eventually really show that he loves me. So far, he just shows it with words. not action. and i keep wondering if it's all because we're too bussy (his full time work, and me with uni), or something else.
    Please help, i dont know what to do. i'm afraid no body will love me. i feel so alone inside.

    thank you

  2. #2
    sidehop
    Platinum Member sidehop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Age
    38
    Posts
    6,879
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes you feel like you're not getting anything back with all the effort you put into a relationship. I hurt myself in the past doing the same. In fact it was four months and I regret it but it was definitely a learning experience.

    It's a good idea you're keeping no contact with him. He sounds like a great guy but his lifestyle seem to be conflicting with the relationship. He also sounds pretty stressed from what you wrote. I'm sure he appreciates the things you do but it seems like he's really focusing on himself.

    I would give it some space. If he can realize what you've been feeling, he will start giving you back the same. And considering he's 16, he might still be in the learning process of serious relationships. I would take that in consideration since I did date someone who was 16 at the time turning 17, she was a very confused individual looking for direction in life.

    Good luck and keep us updated.

  3. #3
    Beec
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    7,404
    He doesn't care enough to or know how to act in your relationship. Your continuing with him without him modifying his behavior is not teaching him anything. You need to set out rules and make him stick to them. Set out what you expect and make him deal with something because of his mistakes.

    Such as:

    You must be on time. Lateness is a sign of disrespect. If he doesn't show up on time or within fifteen minutes or call telling you he's late with an excuse (you need to allow for an excuse), don't go out with him.

    We will see each other over the weekend. If we do not, do not bother to call me during the week, or try to see me, or even think about sex with anything other than yourself.

    A renowned legal theorist concluded that the law is not what it says it is, the law is actually what people do. What does he do and what do you allow him to do. That is your current law. You need to change the law (what he does and is allowed to do) and there need to be consequences if he breaks the law.

  4. #4
    sari84
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    32
    Posts
    20

    i am now over it :)

    i'm totally over him. yay!

Top Threads
Ex found out about a certain part of my past and dumped me
So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months, but I've been knowing him for a little over a year. When we first started dating I told him most of
Here I am again (and again)
See my first thread [URL="https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=530702"]here[/URL] and my second one
Really Raw Inside and totally numb
[COLOR=#0000cd]Hello every one. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000cd]I,m having a bad day today so I have joined this to write everything down and maybe it
What do I do next?
Back Story. My ex & I met close to five years ago. We stayed together the first time for almost a year. During this time of our relationship she was
EX GF wants closure
My girlfriend and I broke up 2.5 weeks ago. We've been playing text tag to figure out an exchange of our stuff. I'm still heartbroken and want her
Need help!!
My partner and I had a small argument late Wednesday night which ended in him saying his done and he went home. I tried to call him when he left, he
Getting my stuff back without getting in a fight
Hello everyone, Long story short I moved in with my girlfriend 3 years ago, 280 miles away from my home and my family. She wanted to breakup

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
She became distant when her ex-husband got married. Now I'm friend zoned.
I (39/M) met her (31/F) on a dating site a month and a half ago. We've gone on several dates. I have spent the night at her place five or six times
Let this be a lesson to all men trying to find that special someone
Always delete old text messages to avoid sending a message to the wrong person. I have a date tomorrow and thought I was emailing my friend and
On and off relationships... help
I've been dating this guy on and off for about 5 months now. We get into fights, end things then get back together. ( i know this isnt a healthy
Wife will divorce if I go back to the military
Good morning everyone. I have been married for 4 years, been with my wife for 6. We met online when I was deployed in Afghanistan and when I
Really Raw Inside and totally numb
[COLOR=#0000cd]Hello every one. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000cd]I,m having a bad day today so I have joined this to write everything down and maybe it
I wanted to clarify things but...
Hi I have a guy friend, we know each other for long time because we went to same school but we never really spoke before. We started hanging
How bad are restraining orders
I'll preface this by saying I was very mentally unhealthy through all of this. Anyway awhile back I finally got the dream girl I wanted for 8 years
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •