The Rules to Regaining Your Lost Love
When reading these rules , you definitely will think that these 20 rules will drive your Lost Mate even farther away ...but, if ever you feel you just can't agree with them then ask yourself, 'is what I'm doing now working?' Aha! I may have a point, then - right?! If what you are doing now isn't working, then why do you want to keep doing it? Why do you keep banging your head against the wall?
Here are 20 Rules for Reclaiming your Lost Mate:
Always agree with your Lost Mate, no matter what. Translation: "Yes, you are right. My mother is a tub of brainless lard."
Date again. Even if you have to hire a date from an escort service! Date again whether, or not, you have absolutely any desire of ever being with another person ever again!
Want out of the relationship, too. If your Lost Mate wants a divorce, say, 'Yes. I agree with you. As much as I'd like our marriage to work out, I can see that it will not. I'll get in contact with my lawyer tomorrow."
Always keep a cheery, calm, soothing voice, and an air of happy resignation about you. Translation: I am happy, too, to get this over with and move on with my life. In fact, I'm looking forward to it.
Get outside interests and hobbies. Make new friends. Establish your individualism and your uniqueness - separate from that of your Lost Mate.
Never, ever chase after your Lost Mate, or plead and beg with your Lost Mate to reconsider. Never, ever promise your Lost Mate that you will change, or that you have changed. This never works. It just chases your Lost Mate even farther away. Stop chasing, and start moving in the opposite direction. But always do this in a friendly, nice, and cheery way. Again, never disagree with them, as disagreeing with them attacks their pride and forces them to naturally take a stand against you, in order to protect and defend themselves.
Never tell your Lost Mate that you love them, especially as a bargaining (begging) tool to try to win them back. If they ask you if you love them answer truthfully, but never, ever offer those words unsolicited.
Be mysterious, even secretive, with your 'new' life. Be a creature unlike any other. Display self-confidence, self-assurance, and a 'who needs you' attitude. But remember, even though you love yourself immensely you can still be congenial, agreeable, and cheerful!
Go to parties, social events, dances, etc. even if you don't feel like it. Make it look like you are avidly eager to 'get on with your new singlehood'.
Consider placing a singles ad, or placing a love profile, with a matchmaking service.
Never call them - and if they call you, keep the conversation brief, limiting it to about eight-minutes max. Always be the first to end the conversation. Be polite and friendly. Rarely, if ever, return their calls. After all, you are just soooo busy with your new life!
Buyer beware! Seriously take a look at your Lost Mate. Examine their issues, their quirks, their flaws, their faults. Observe them in their daily routines. Take off your blinders! Is this someone you really want to be with, or is this simply someone you feel the urgent 'need' to be with? Remember, our desires can create in us a false sense of urgency. We don't 'need' anybody! A simple fact!
Be too busy to keep customary dates. For instance, if you and your Lost Mate usually meet for lunch on Tuesday afternoons, be 'just too busy to make this Tuesday's luncheon date'.
Be humble and agree with your Lost Mate's personal attacks on you. Never attempt to defend yourself. Translation: If your Lost Mate says that you were a lying cheat, agree with them. "Yes, you're right. I was a lying cheat. That must have hurt you a lot. Why I don't blame you for not wanting to be with me. I'm such a cad." This actually makes your mate take your side and defend you, or your actions. Kewl, huh?
Stop believing you need them. You don't need anybody, and, indeed, the more you believe you need somebody the less likely you are to have them. Love is nice, relationships are nice, but they're not essential. You don't have to have them. The more you feel you need something, the more likely you are to radiate an air of anxiety, and panic - and the more likely you are to slip and attack your Lost Mate's pride, because the more you feel you need something the more you feel that the object of your need has stripped you of your very own pride. Need strips us of our pride. Your goal is to emit an air of peace and happiness with your current singlehood.
Stop working toward saving your relationship and start working toward getting a new life.
Play hard to get. People love challenges, they love the hunt, they want something that they cannot have. Fact! Don't be so readily available. Give them something to work at, give them the thrill of the chase. Often, people love the chase, but become bored once the chase is over. Boredom can masks itself as lack of love, or caring. They actually believe that they have fallen out of love, or just can't love the other like they think the other deserves to be loved. But, in reality, they are just plain bored to death with the relationship!
Make plans to move out. Look for a studio apartment, shop for furniture, etc. Play the game all the way.
Get a life! Make your life better than ever. Change things about you that you didn't like. Try new things, develop new interests. Climb mountains, join a gym, take dance lessons, join a pool tournament. Get out there and have fun, experience all the adventures that you have been missing by being in a relationship. Live!
Last, but not least. Keep doing these above rules, even when it looks like you're not getting anywhere. Never waver