how to not be whipped?

ok.. This is the situation...

Lately i have been doing a lot of thinking and i realized that my boyfriend has a really large comfort zone when it comes to me because i do everything for him and treat him like gold. Except all this never lead to anything... you see i was hoping that by idolizing him he would love more and sort of forget about everything else like i did. But now i realize that i had an awesome life before him and i should have one with him and even when we break up. i feel, felt like i had to give him every inch of my energy, but after a while he just started talking me for granted.... like he knows im going to phone him to do something, that i will offer to massage him.... so he knows that he doesn't really have to put much into it. I know that he loves me and i obviously love him, but i dont want to seem like im wipped for him. im only 20 and i feel like i want to marry him... but thats wrong! anyways.... basically i need advice on how to show him that im in charge and that my life doesnt depend on him. a lot of my friends are gone to school and im a social freak so i usually spend a lot of time with him. he is my priority, but i want him to feel a little less secure. I just dont want to do it in a way that is offensive or mean. but i want him to get thinking.

can anyone relate or help?

i should probably add that my confidence and self esteem has gone down quite a bit since we have been together because of this situation too. as in... me always trying to make him happy and love me more = neglecting myself and starting to feel bad and just wanting him to boost me with complements all the time. i have to feel good about myself, no one else can do this! I think if i master to become myself again, our relationship will strongly improve. i want to add though that i hate playing games. i dont want this to be a game.

so any advice would be great. what is to much distance... what gets a guy wondering about what his girlfriend is up to.... what will make him less secure?

Thanks...

anyone is welcome to help me out this site rules!!

It's very easy to get complacent in a relationship, so perhaps you should tell him to his face what you have told the world on this website. I'd be very careful trying to make him feel jealous and insecure, as this could backfire on you. Basically, you don't know what you got till it's gone. Just be careful and don't intentionally hurt him, talk it through like an adult and follow what your heart says and not your buddies etc. You're the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions.

hello, I am in the exact situation as you with my bf. I think the best thing to do, is to back off. Not in a mean way, but just let him be the one to call you, let him do more things for you, and show him you have a life. Tell him one day that you have to leave his house early because you're going out with just some girl friends. Right now he's taking you for granted because he gets everything that he wants. But if he sees and realizes that you have your own life, and that there is a chance he could lose you...he'll start to do more things for you.