my first topic, please read it, and if you can/want reply

er hi, this is my 1st topic ive put up.

and reading all these posts has made me think, half of you dont know what your on about.

sorry but thats my opinion.

you say get on with life, things'll get better. but its not that easy.

you say all those people you have tried but not yet comitted suicide are silly because if they wanted to do it they would be dead by now.

but have you stopped to think why?

yeah true maybe they dont deep down want to die, but maybe summit else stopped them.

we all have our own situations,

but it helps to talk so when people ask not to go all 'NO DONT DO IT'

dont. because they dont need/ or want it.

and the same goes for me.

im not a 'happy' person, people might think i am but let them think that, its less for them 2 worry bout. i dont want people to worry about me, but im going to have to get out at some point, because it is to much to handle.

i cant think about it, it takes up so much space in my head, and i cant concentrate at school or whatever im doing, so grades have gone down, people think im thick and i get the mick taken because of it.

friends know im not happy, they wouldn't call me depressed, but then again i dont tell them anything, they'd freak and be like ok we can't be your mates now.....

and i dont want that, or maybe i do. if they hated me it would be so much easyer.

less for me to worry about.and that probably sounds really mean, but its true, if i dont have to worry about hurting them, its less for me to get worked up about.

anyone else and i wouldn't care, the amount of times ive wanted to get rid of other peopel!! lol but no if they are all hating me,and so many are,maybe its me and not aaaaalll of them!?!? maybe its my fault...

maybe im scared, but whos going to know? whos going to care?

i think i might be scared, maybe thats why i cant do it.

the amount of times ive tried, ive lost count.

and only in the space of 2years.

it just doesn't seem to work, its like it doesn't want me to,i don't know what i did wrong. i don't think i even did anything wrong. i took well over the amount it said 2 take maximum, and i did every 'do not' on the box!!!

i didn't do anything wrong! so why didnt it work?!?!?

someone help me!!!!!! please!!!

sorry for writing so much!!

peace out

\m/ \m/

I'm not sure how to respond, because i think i got a little confused on what it was you were saying...

I understand that those of us who arent suicidal may sound silly telling those who are suicidal not to, but it's not just because we can say it that we do. We care.

We don't want people to make such a great mistake, and it is a mistake. One that cannot be undone.

Life isn't peachy, it has it's good moments and it's bad moments, but that is the point, it does change. When you are in a low moment, it is hard to see that things can get better, but when you're happy, I bet it is pretty easy for you to think they can get worse, huh? That is exactly the point we are trying to make, if it can move one way, it can move the other--toward better things.

Life's struggles are like storms. They may last a little or a long time. They maybe sever, or mild. They may have warning, or none at all. It may sprinkle, or it may pour--but there has never been a storm that didn't have an end. They all end eventually, and the hardest part is just remembering that this too shall pass. Things do change. Storms do end--but no one should ever have to walk through a storm alone.

So we are just trying to be there for those who feel alone in the storm, trying to show them that storms do end. We are here to be a friend, when a friend is needed.

Understand?

--

If you need/want someone to talk to feel free to contact me.

so youve decided to die thats what i worked out from above if i grabbed the wrong end of the stick then sorry it isnt that i dont understand what your feelin. Its natraul to think of death from time to time.... when i was 16 thats all i thought of (now 19 haha to all the oldies lol...sorry) but the thing that kept me on was the fact that i knew someone somewhere would miss me even if it was my parents i still knew. i knew someone somewhere would. Do you know why you want to die? then when you answered that maybe ask Why do you want to live? if you cant answer either email me email removed

Hey,

so would you please clarify what you really meant in all of that. i am going through a really hard time now also and may be able to help, but only if i know why you feel the you do and what happened to you. Well? i have also been going through suicidal thoughts, thats all i really got out of that. hey Privite message me and answer a few Questions so i will really understand. First, why do you feel like this, you may not know for sure but you should have some idea of what started it all? Second how old are you? that should do, don't want to ask for too much info and freak you out. hey i understand what you mean about the whole "oh things will get better, life goes on", bullSH@# though so really just answer back and i will see if i can relate and poss. help.

keep smiling,

love QTpie87 8)

when you'll be gone... the world will miss you...for some time...and eventually they won't remember you anymore, while you are there missing the world....and wishing and hoping they will at least remember you even just a while.

Life is better outside the bottle you're living in. Go on and move on...everything has an end...but its not you that should end.

Life is beautiful... All we need to do is to wake up from our nightmare.

Yeah, that's the thing about forums like this. There are no particular qualifications required for giving advice, or responding to other's posts in any way. The onus is on us all as individuals to figure out the good advice from the bad, and that often depends on the person being advised. What's good for one may be bad for another.

I take it you're specifically talking about posts on suicide, possibly the darkest of all subjects discussed on this list. And you're right, a lot of folks don't understand, I for one don't. I really don't know where you are in your head, how can I? I don't even know what to tell you to make any of the darkness go away. The only thing I have going for me in that regards is I'm an "old guy". I got through being a teenager, and beyond that. My darkest thoughts have only come a little while ago, and I think I worked through it all.

It's different for me, I finally realized my life is not really just for me to do what I want with it, I'm part of the big picture. I may not be important, but there are others who would not want me to be gone. We're all like that, some more than less. Maybe you think you're less important than most people, less important than your friends, less important than me. I'd argue the point with you.

So, why do you have these thoughts of not wanting to exist? What is it that makes your life unbearable? Why didn't it work? Maybe because it's not supposed to. Ever think maybe that was why? No matter how much you wanted it to be, it isn't meant to be. That's what my conclusion would be. Fight death, not life.

Do you feel frustrated that you failed in trying to die? Well, don't. It just isn't meant to be that way, so don't bang your head against it. Give in instead, and stop trying to do it. If you want to be annoyed, and yell at somebody, then post your frustration to this list, just like you did. You'll find there are people here to discuss even this topic with. Do you want to be mad at somebody? Then PM me and tell me how infuriating my post is to you. We can discuss how I'm wrong, feel free to correct me. But get the emotions out, don't keep them inside if they're there.

Just remember, if you can't do something for yourself, you can do it for somebody else. Somebody out there needs you more than you need yourself not to exist. Trust me. You may not even know who they are yet, so maybe you'll have to go out and find them.

Here's something t hang on to:

U can't c into the future, you dont no wut it will b. I'm not saying the whole things will get better thing im saying.. u could grow up to do something spectacular that u will b remembered for for the rest of ur life and ever after! those suicidal feelings could come out into beautiful artwork, music, or stories! also, one person could make all the difference in someone elses life. you could inspire others to do great things/ b great ppl! wut happens if ur soulmate comes along and ur not there to meet 'em? Beautiful children, who could also do great things might never exist.

Conclusion: don't think about now. if u fail a test/ lose a friend.. who care? wut will it matter? think of the future, how bright it could b if u work at it, or at least allow it to come along.

think about it ;-)

hi people,

i just want to say thank you to all of you who replyed and for all of your advice.

but i think ive made a desicion. im going to do it, i want to.

i just got to get the timing right.

im going to do it, after xmas, maybe before new year, maybe after.

not too sure yet.

erm well thats bout it,

and thanks agian guys! i do appreciate it,

really i do.

cya

------------x-----------

Well I'm sorry to hear you say that. But since you have said you want to wait a couple of weeks I'd like to ask you to do three things for me.

First I'd like you to read the information on the following two web sites:

link removed

link removed

Second I'd like to ask you to go down to your nearest homeless shelter or battered womens shelter and help them out for one day. Just a day. Or even a half day.

After you have finished helping there, I want you to go up to any person you have met there over the course of that day. And I want you to ask them "If I wasn't here tomorrow, would it matter to you?" And then I want you to think about what they say to you before you decide on the value of your life.

I am sorry to here that your going to kill your self. I want you to know by doing this you will hurt alot of people. Just to tell you I have been there I have thought of killing my self and even tryed but I was stoped by my roomate now I think him I wish that I never tryed to do that. But you see life is short and I wish that you can see that. But if you are going to do this I cant stop you. Even thought I wish that I could. I will pray for you and I hope that you find what your looking for in the after life. (shakes head, takes deep breath) God speed

hey,

I've added you to my messengers so if you need/want to talk, you can.

I recommend like someone else suggested that you go out and do something for someone else for awhile. It REALLY works. I started getting depressed when i was around 16 but i decided i was not going to let that happen. I joined a group that gave bible studies, i started going online and talking to people who needed someone to talk to, and i made myself more available for my friends at school. Everything changed, and now the only way i know that i was ever depressed in my life is by looking at my old journal.

I have a journal, and I'd like you to read it but i need to warn you not to go to the sites home page (link removed) one of their ads has an embedded virus in it and i don't think they even know it. But when i go to their main page i always get a warning from my virus scanner. If you go directly to the diary it avoids the main page; link removed .

I have a complex suggestion, but that is that each day do something for at least one other person in the small things. Then in the big things at least a day a week. Also be willing to journal what you experience--that way you can look back and see what role you played in improving all these lives you will touch.

----

Sometimes the best thing to do is think outward not inward.

hi,

erm well to start with, thank you to everyone who replyed.

i've been thinking yeah, sorry if this seems big headed but im getting good at that prolonging thing, well i think.

i've kinda changed my mind, i said after christmas but before new year. but now im thinking along the lines of i dont have a time.

im going to see how things go.

so im er kinda proud of myself

*Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die*

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

Take it one step at a time - ok? We are here for you if you have trouble along the way.

avman

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u made me smile!!

actually for the first time in aaaaages!!

so thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh ok, im really mixed up now!!!

this sucks!

i cant take it, i wont.

i can scream and cry all i want but it isnt helping, so no.

forget them, all of them.

no loss to them.

no faith, no hope, no feeling, whats left?

nothing.

\m/ peace out \m/

*good to know if i ever want attention all i have to do is die*

Ok, my friend. Calm down and explain what is going on. PM me if that is easier for you.

well i dont really know how you are feeling but we all do get messed up feelings. and no one has ever completely understood emotions. i hope what i will say will help. to start with, even if it isnt everyone that suffers what you do, a lot do go through the same and even worse things. i will really like you to know that when you think you are the worse, there is one who is worse than you are, and when you think your the best, there will always be someone better. that is life, there is always a place for you. and maybe you are wondering if people will miss you if you are gone. the answer is yes. if you have any contact with any human at all, then you will be missed if you are gone why, because you are important. maybe you may not know it but hey i will continue to encourage. in a nut shell, all human beings have problems, every single one of us has a problem or the other that tears us inside out. for instance, i am a cone head, i cant change my skull so i have to embrace it and make good use of it. i am now a clown because of my deformity. i us it to make people smile and i hope you too have smiled reading this. hold on no matter what.

have a splendid one and please mail me if you need to talk about it more.