Jump to content

Do girls like shy guys or outgoing guys?


mjctraider

Recommended Posts

I'm just curious to know if the women out there prefer guys who are shy or guys who are outgoing? And if so why? I'd just would like to know so maybe I can get a little hope back in me and hope that there are girls out there that would go out with a shy guy even if they were very outgoing Thanks for any responses.

Link to comment
  • Replies 124
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Well, of course girls prefer outgoing guys! But why? Because girls like being pursued. Just because you're shy doesn't mean you can't get an outgoing girl to like you, it just means that you have to do something about it. You can't expect to sit around shyly and have girls instantly like you!

 

So take some initiative and try not to be the shy guy for three seconds, and then you're allowed to go back to your regular self.

Link to comment

I've heard some women say that shyness in guys shows that they are weak. And most women want a guy who can protect them, not saying you have to be a total jerk but you do have to stand up for what you believe and not let people walk all over you. And 90 percent of the time a girl will not approach you simply because if you don't have the balls to talk to them, then you're not worth their time. Even if you say something stupid like "i lost my number, can i have yours?" and they look at you like you're a total idiot, at least you made the initial contact. And you can follow with "I'm sorry for the lame line, i just think you're very beautiful and i would have kicked my butt if I missed the opportunity to talk with you" and then you can take her next reaction and see if it will get anywhere...G'luck

Link to comment

Alrighty, I guess I would have to say that most girls go for outgoing guys, and usually I do, but right now I have the hugest crush on a shy guy. I'd say I usually like outgoing guys because I'm really shy towards guys I like, and it's cool to have someone who'll take the initiative to talk to you first and break the ice. But as for this shy guy...I don't know. I guess you can't help who you fall in love with, eh?

Good luck!

 

-Esprit

Link to comment

I think this question (and all questions) about "what do women, as a group, want" is itself flawed. I know there are a lot of "what do women want" questions out there, but don't put all women into one collective group when it comes to our tastes and desires. Not all women want the same thing. Camaro Joe posted:

 

>And 90 percent of the time a girl will not approach you simply because if >you don't have the balls to talk to them, then you're not worth their >time. Even if you say something stupid like "i lost my number, can i >have yours?" and they look at you like you're a total idiot, at least you >made the initial contact

 

I disagree completely. Yes, you have made initial contact but why should I care? If some man gives me idiotic come-on line like this he won't have the chance to say anything intelligent (if he is capable) because I will be long gone. First impressions stick, so you would be well advised not to make an ass out of yourself right away. It just makes you look desperate and stupid. IF a man is really outgoing and confident why should he have to hide behind a lame pick-up line like that?

 

As far as not having the "balls" to talk to a girl...I suppose that is at least partly true. If you don't talk to a girl she won't know you're interested. But please come up with something at least half-way intelligent to say. Unless all you do is sit around your house and stare at the wall all day you probably have some interesting things you can talk about with regards to yourself. Go that way instead.

 

I like shy men as well as outgoing, if by outgoing you mean confident. Both types of men can be very charming, and frankly both can be very sexy, but if a man is just full of himself and obnoxious he needs to get over himself.

 

I have to disagree a bit with Anamarie too. Yes, I like knowing a man is interested, but I like to be the pursuer myself sometimes, not always the other way around. That is also part of the reason why I think "shy guys" can be tremendous fun in the bedroom. Even if a man is sexually experienced, if he plays shy in the bedroom I get the chance to 'play teacher' so to speak. I enjoy it thoroughly

 

-RK

Link to comment

hey guys

i totally agree with RebeccaK, women shouldnt be stereotyped as to what men think we like in a guy,

 

from what i can see the members who posted before me said that women liked a guy who was outgoing but that is not always the case,

 

personally i like a shy guy, its a challange to find out what they are really like, somethimes with an outgoing man comes confidence, im not saying thats a bad thing but that can lead to arragance and ignorance of what their woman really want.

 

i like a guy who doesnt care what other people think, who takes you for what you are and who is both shy and outgoing in various areas.

 

so i dont think that people should judge as to what they 'stereotypically' think is what a woman wants, they should treat each woman differently and find out what she wants.

 

~LJ =;

Link to comment
i like a guy who doesnt care what other people think, who takes you for what you are and who is both shy and outgoing in various areas.

 

That sums it up well... I think people confuse "shy" as far as getting to start talking to someone, and insecure in their thoughts and convictions - two completely different things. I don't care if someone's the life of the party - as long as he has a firm confidence in who he is and what he thinks when he's with me. I've known a few "outgoing" people that were good at making contact - but used to being in a group and adopting the ideas of the group, and didn't really have any of their own - and that's a big minus in my book!

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

Well, I have to agree with Rebecca as well. I for one, am a shy guy, and I too have a crush on a girl in my office (yes I said in my office, not school or anything). Their are girls and guys of all types, and can't be grouped together as one.

 

But it's harder for some of us who had bad relationships (or none) in the past, where you have that one bad experience that keeps stopping you from talking to a girl. If you have one bad experience, you shouldn't think women (or men for that matter) will all hurt you. Sometimes you just run into that one psycho girl that kinda makes it harder for you to tell a girl your feelings.

 

Some girls like a challenge, some just want to be loved and don't want to play games... the only real hard part is finding the right one.

Link to comment
  • 2 years later...

Lol, guess I must one of few then. Depends on the person, everyone varies in their likes. I don't seem what on earth is so cool about loud, horny, stupid dudes who think they own everyhting. Now, those are more than likely the future "will be abusers" or manipulators in constant attention. They're the ones not honest with themselves, they got something to hide. Rather prefer a quiet guy who's there to listen and never to put you down than a non-stop blabbermouth, attention seeker.

Link to comment

I like guys who can be unwrapped like presents.

 

These guys seem shy or aloof or a little introverted at first, but if you poke a bit, you soon see that a sense of humor lives underneath. After awhile they relax and warm up and let their personality unfurl.

Link to comment
Almost no women I've met like shy, timid, nervous men. Okay, none... save maybe two. No wait, one. The rest all go for the extraverted, outgoing, domineering macho guy with the 18 inch arms and linebacker shoulders. 'Tis true, you know.
Uh lets try flase. I am almost the opposite of what you posted and I see girls of all ages flirting and showing interest.

 

 

 

 

To answer the question girls go for both type of guys. It may seem that all girls want the out going guys, but if that was the cases then every single guy will be out going, but this is not true, so there are girls out there that like shy/quiet guys.

Link to comment

In my experience being a shy, not-so-outgoing guy myself, i notice women will notice me, will ask about me, and may hang out with me a few times, but after they know the basics about me, it seems they loose interest. BTW im skinny 140Lbs, not tall etc. I will admit I have some serious self confidence problems such as not able to keep eye contact initially.

 

I think women simply go for the guy who is the most vocal. especially if he is a big football player-like guy. These guys sometimes get put into the "Jerk" category.

 

The guy whos like me, who wont get in a girls face, crack jokes, touchy feely, is considered the NICE guy. BUT, i dont consider myself a pushover. Im a gear head and I think I simply bore women.

 

Thing is, nice guys can be great guys to be with. I think im a great catch, I have a good job, my own place, my own car, but most women my age wouldnt care, unless they are looking for someone to start a family with and drive thier minivan around. Hence, "nice and/or shy guys" finish last.

Link to comment

If they do, they're foolishly mistaken. I'm quite shy, but have one helluva strong will, am quite opinionated, (for better or worse) and don't let anyone walk all over me. I'm all nice with everyone, unless they anger me. Then... look the **** out. lol

Link to comment
I'm a quiet guy, but I don't let people run over me.

 

I used to be that when I was in middle school and high school, but now I don't let anyone give me crap and push me around. Just give it right back to them. I think I've gotten to the point now where I've realized that I'm probably going to be alone for a very long time, no matter if I get over my shyness or not. I've tried over and over and over again in trying to meet people whether it is at work or school or through online dating and I get rejected everytime. So there is no point in me worrying if girls prefer shy guys or outgoing guys now.

Link to comment

most guys i've liked are the shy ones. i dont know why. probably cuz those outgoing ones are more like just friends you joke around with. shy guys tend to be nicer and sweeter and you can actually have real conversations with them. and it means much more when a shy guy makes a move b/c it shows that they must really like you.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hey I'm shy too. Under certain circumstances anyway.

 

I'm very outgoing with other men and with women who are either not attractive to me, or who are unavailable (married or have a b-friend).

 

i.e. - if they're single, available, and I'm attracted to them, then I get shy. For example, I have a friend at work who is a very attractive married woman. I've been very comfortable talking to her and joking with her for months. We enjoyed teasing her. Then I found out she was not married. I had just assumed she was. Turns out she is available. Once I knew she was available, I turned shy. Cripes. I'm an intelligent man and strong in some ways, but I turn to jelly around women I'm attracted to. At least initially.

 

I get over that gradually and become outgoing and passionate, if they give me the chance, but they usually don't have the patience. thereforeeee, I'm working on teaching myself to be more outgoing with women I'm attracted to. Yes. You can change your personality by practice.

 

Some women like shy guys, but most don't. For most women shyness is "woman repellant" because shyness is the opposite of confidence.

 

That's been a serious problem because I attract scads of single women that I'm not attracted to. I've got a whole collection of phone numbers I never asked for and never wanted. Why? Because I'm totally confident and outgoing around them because I feel no pressure because I'm not interested. So I attract those I'm not attracted to.

 

On the other hand, I rarely attract women that I'm attracted to because I'm very shy with them and can hardly talk to them or look at them. Why? Because if I want them, then there's huge pressure to please them. Pressure makes me nervous.

 

The solution. I've made a committment to myself to say "Hi" to each woman I'm attracted to, even though my instinct is to walk the other direction.

 

I just started this recently, but it's already helping me be less shy. I'm also getting to know women I'm attracted to. And guess what? Some of them are becoming attracted to me in return (now that I talk to them).

 

If you can just muster the courage to start saying "Hi" to the women that you're attracted to, some of them will be friendly in return and you'll be able to have a conversation with them. You'll learn to be less shy. Eventually you'll meet one or more that are attracted to you in return. Then you've got a shot.

 

In my limited experience with women, the two most important things they like are a guy who talks to them with confidence and who is obviously attracted to them. There are other things they like to, but these two are the most important, IME.

 

Just practice saying "Hi" to women, especially the ones who look good to you. Then things will start working out for you. It's working for me.

 

Hang in there man.

 

Also, don't get to interested or infatuated with any woman because that will make you freeze up. Just remember that there are millions of beautiful women in the world, so big deal if they're hot. If you blow it, who cares? You can find another attractive woman to talk to. Some will be rude or unfriendly when you say "Hi". Who cares? Some will be indifferent. Who cares? Some will be friendly and nice. Yippee! There's always another beautiful women to talk to later. So don't let any one woman be to important in your mind (or you'll get to nervous). Trust me, I know.

 

Just practices saying "Hi" and keep reminding yourself that practice makes perfect. The friendly ones are possiblities, not guarantees. There are no guarantees, but once again, who cares? There are many other women if you blow it with this one.

 

That attitude and saying "Hi" are really helping me. I have been shy because I cared to much what the woman thinks. I'm trying to tone that down and it's working.

 

Also, don't worry to much about your looks because many a woman prefers a guy who is less good looking than she is. This makes her feel better about her looks. It's less about what the guy looks like and more about what he says and does. Rock stars are the ugliest men on earth and get the most women.

 

However, cleanliness and good hygene are important.

 

Also, practice looking them over a bit from head to toe before you say "Hi". I'm talking about a few quick discreet glances, not staring. The purposes are to help you figure out if you're attracted to her, to let her know (discreetly) that you're noticing her, and because you need the practice to desensitize yourself a bit so you don't freeze up in the presense of a good body. Then go say "Hi". If you end up having a conversation with her, it's OK to take an occasional quick peek at her breasts and then back to her eyes. But don't stare at the boobs! Your quick peek will help you learn to see some boob without freaking out and it'll tell her your interested. Now as a fellow shy guy, I can read your mind. Your'e right now freaking out at the thought that she's going to catch you taking a quick glance at her boobs. Of course she will. That's the point. It's fun for both of you, if you can make it quick and not stare.

 

However, if you're to shy to do all these things at this time, then start out by just working on saying "Hi" without checking her out. You'll still have success (part of the time) because some women prefer this anyway. i.e. - some women don't like being checked out. However my new attitude is who cares? I can no longer worry about what every woman wants because I'm not a mind reader and caring to much is the cause of my shyness. Caring a bit less about what she wants will make me much more confident and less nervous.

 

To those women who like shy guys, sorry but there's going to be one less of them when I get through changing myself. At this time I'm still a 100% nice guy and so considerate to women that I'm overwhelemed by worrying about what she wants. That pressure causes my shyness and makes me freeze up. I'm out to cure that. There are some women who like shy guys, but there just aren't enough of you. The majority of women like outgoing somewhat aggressive guys. I'm determined to become more outgoing and aggressive. I think I'll end up in between shy and aggressive.

 

To original poster: Good luck fella. There are some women who like shy guys. On the other hand, you don't have to be shy. You can change.

 

P.S. - I almost forgot. In your saying "Hi" adventures be prepared for a few rude women. When that happens just walk away and don't apologize. Also, be prepared for some who will like you and want to have a conversation with you. If you realize ahead of time that success can happen, you'll be better able to handle it. You don't need to ask her out during your first conversation. I don't think you're ready for that. However, maybe by your 3rd or 4th successful conversation with the same woman, you might ask her to lunch or coffee or icecream. Hey she might even ask you. So just go along if that happens. The best first dates are daytime dates because there's less pressure.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...