WHAT TO DO NEXT?

Here is the issue. Or shall I say Issues.

Im going through a tough time and I dont know what to do because my family isnt willing to help me.

Here is my list

1. My boyfriend cheated on me. (MY FIRST EVERYTHING) and I had to break it off with him. I think my heart is really broken!

2. I have been diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and BiPolar Disorder. I dont think I canlive another day with this. I have been put on meds, but I cant afford the meds. Im a 20 yr old female, I cant find a job (plus it is hard to keep one with all this going on) and no insurance.

3. I have the symptoms of cervical cancer, this is because I was raped when I was 4 by a grown man. I had a doc appointment last wednesday I had to cancel because I didnt have cash to pay them to see whats really wrong with me. ( The nurse said I might have to have EVERYTHING takin out... which means no children for me)

Like I said before imnot close with anyone inmy family.

4. My father is an alchy and has a bad heart.

5. My mother has Pre Cervical cancer, Pre Collen cancer, and is being tested for a lump in her breast

6. Im in a school, that im failing out of because I cantkeep up with the classes because of everything going on.

7. My medical bills are outrages, and i have bill collectors calling everyday.

8. The biggest problem is Im sick. I need surgery on my stomach because im slowly killing my heart, But I cant afford it. My doctor says this can kill me before Im 40.

I mean I am only 20 years old and im sickof life in general. Never in my life have I had a childhood. Both of my parents are alchys so I had to raise most of my brothers and sisters. When I had a car accident Jan 3 of this year, no one was there, I had to call a cab driver home. I mean yeah that happens to people, But Ijust wish i had someone who cares. Imean I thought I found that person, til I found out he found everyone online, cybering. You know, life takes you down horrible roads sometimes.But my road is going to kill me

I would get more help... but when i call them they say " Its going to be pricey without insurance, and we like partial payment up front."

I know these might be "normal issues" But, with everythingin my life going on and Im only 20... with death on my tail, my last hope is helpfrom here.

Please help me. What can I do? My mother could die. And then I have to take care of my threeyoungest siblings (6,12,16) I just dont know what to do.

I tried a credit card, at least then I could get medical attention, but of course they didnt approve me

WHAT DO I DO FROM HERE? I wish icould just end it all!

Thank you again

Jessica[/b]

Im alsoin the mist of a possible law suit...

My father is suing me.

Yeah I didnt think that was possible either.

I owe him money.

helpme...im literally begging!

Jessica

first off, dont get yourself all worked up that wont help anything just take a few seconds to just get all of it out of your mind. sencond EVERYONES mother AND father will die sooner or later PERIOD. the only other way is for you to die first which wouldnt be fair to your mother. anyways can i point out the obvious here? you are simply not equipt to take care of three siblings they are not your responsibility, although im sure you feel a certain loyalty twords them they are your mothers worry you need to focus on you. It is impossible to help others unless you help yourself first. I too live with OCD and similar anxiety disorder. all I can tell you is that when it gets tough you can not rely on others, you need to just push through it. both these things are treatable. but not right now. you either need to find a job or a guy who can take care of you and you would be a house-wife {which is NOT a bad thing mind you!} if you cant find either then you need to apply for welfair. in the mean time i have to tell you stress will cause your body to malfunction which may cause you these disorders and diseases. you need to ignore these by dweling on them and thinking about them you are only making things worse. just find a job that will allow you to rent an appartment and buy food. which is basically minimum wage kind of thing, it is the most important thing you can do right now. once you have secured a job all you need to do is show up and do it. then you get paid and can save a little each time until you have enough to go to a doctor or phychologist, whatever you think you need. just make sure this doesnt get out of hand. call me cynical but you do have the makings of a hypocondriac. anyways bottom line get a job or a guy who can support you, then get the help you think you need the only cure for anything from cancer to hypocandriac {im not saying you are one btw} is a doctor. they will tell you everything you need to know. and try to get rid of unessacary junk you have to get an orderly mind you need an orderly appartment or were ever you live. hope this helps, sry it is a little lenghtly i guess i just like to hear myself talk LoL =p

Thank you for your opinion.

I basically brought myself up, so I dont depend on anyone to get through things,only myself and only suggestions. Im not a Hypo. I actually attended a clinic where I was told what I said. Being a house wife isnt my cup of tea. I will get through this I know. And I have GAD, if you do not have GAD you dont know or even want to know what pain someone with GAD goes through on a daily basis. I attend college, so housing is good, along with food. I just need an idea, if someone out there is understanding, possibly if they have been in the same place.

Thank You very much

Jessica