After the first date, now what? Whats a shy guy thinking?

Well here is my story. I recently started emailing/chatting with this guy online through link removed. I was a little hesitant to do this but I was just not meeting quality men at the bar or elsewher. He seemed really nice, we emailed each other for 2 weeks and then he asked me out to dinner. Last night we went out. He picked me up, acted all formal (i think this is how he acts when hes shy/nervous) We went out to a nice restaurant. After the initial nervousness, we talked and talked all night. I know we were both shy/nervous but we (or at least I) felt comfortable. After dinner, he dropped me off at my place. I asked him in and showed him my place just to talk a little further. I asked him to sit but he said that he needed to get home to do some work for work. He says his job is a 24 hr a day job. Anyway, we had so much to talk about/in common. The entired date lasted 2 and a half hours. That made me feel weird because I was hoping that it might last longer. He was much cuter than his photo and I really was attracted to him physically and through talking with him. I would really like to get to know him more. When he was leaving he told me to have a good night. I didn't want to sound persistent but I really wanted to know if we'd go out again. Thats how we left it. That night I saw him online and I told him that I had a wonderful time. He said that he did as well. I told him that I was going to go to bed (because I'm sick) and that we should get together again soon now that we aren't nervous as much. He just said good night. I sent him an ecard this morning, saying the same about having a good time. I asked him what he was doing this weekend or next and that we should go out again. I just thought he was great and couldn't wait to tell him that I was interested. WEll he received the ecard but hasn't responded yet. Hmmmm What do you think? He was always so excite in emails/phone that we should do this and that. Maybe I'm just paranoid and he was busy at work. He has been lately and hasn't emailed me back as quickly as a week ago. What should I do next, I'm going to see if he emails me tonight. uggg. Thanks for your anticipated help.

I don't think you showed him too much at all remember the saying Love is like a cat mouse game, well it's the same for dating, especially in your case..you meet online threw a Online dating service. lets go over what happened....

You had ONE date, lasted 2 1/2 hours.

You both Had a great time.

You exchanged e-mails confession that the night was great, he agrees with that.

You sent him another one saying you wanted to know what he was doing for this weekend, and he hasn't responded back yet, Did i miss anything...

So why are you stressing over, not receiving a E-mail back yet, you think he is blowing you off...I don't believe so at all, or he would of never planned to try a date with you, think about it for a second, he probably hasn't gotten the E-mail yet to responded and your over analyzing things, being pessimistic or thinking that way isn't healthy, you have to stay positive, and if he never answers your E-mail back than don't throw your self out for one person, (put different eggs in different baskets) not all in one, than you sound desperate, and in need of a man in your life, which would push him away...take this slow, you only had one date.

Relax and keep checking your mail.

This is terribly confusing. Well I finally got an email from the guy I went on a date with. He wanted to tell me that his life is very busy right now and he doesn't know if he has time for a normal relationship with anyone right now. He does want to go out to dinner with me sometime in the future and that he says he enjoys getting to know me. What the heck? In so many of his emails, he's mentioned things that we can do next etc etc. I know he is very busy with work and I understand that but what can I do. You would not believe it but from the first time we talked and then after meeting there has been a glowing smile on my face. I haven't seen that in a long time with anyone. Is he just too good to be true?

My first question is what does he do for a living? Is he some kind of 80 hour workweek investment banker or consultant? Or, is he a 50 hour/week guy who is hiding behind his work? Either way, he seems to be violating the most important criterion for a bf/gf: availability. If he's not available, he's not available, and no matter how great he is in other ways, he's already disqualified himself. I think that's how you have to look at any relationship.

Since you seemed to have a great time, and he's somewhat responsive to you, there's no harm in telling him you felt connected with him on the date, and press him for more information on why he feels he cannot have a human relationship right now. Tell him you might be flexible with him (within certain boundaries that you should have). It's really sad that he is shutting out a relationship when he seems to like you, but that's his sad choice, and you should not have an empty love life because one possible mate will not take the time and effort to be with you.

I met a guy online who responded to my ad. We talked for a couple of weeks. Poetry, so much in common, a real connection. We had a first date which was better then I could have hoped for. Totally into the guy and yes we did have sex after the movie.. (no its a no no but we are both 38 with kids and divorced and it seemed so right with him). He wrote back and said he loved the date too especially just talking to me. We IM'd back and forth then nothing for a couple of days then he sent a message saying he was sorry but he had a family emergency come up and he had to fly back home right away.

Its something he had mentioned on the date about his family so I don't doubt that it happened. He said he needed me to know that he hadn't forgotten me.

He has been using the term destiny and soul mates and I have to agree with him. I feel so comfortable with him like i've known him all my life. So easy and he is such an incredible turn on for me. He is funny and nice and a good man to his kids. We both discussed being exclusive and long term. We both said how much the relationship made us feel good and at the end of the date he said how happy I made him feel.

I have been writing to him every other day or so and trying to give something of a break to him. I'm sure he's going through hell emotionally with his personal family issues. I know I would be. I am willing to wait for him. He wouldn't be a guy i would feel this way about if he didnt' drop everything to care for his family.

Since he hasn't written back for almost a week do I stop writing to him? I really want to talk to him so I've been either writing random stuff in IM or composing a letter in email or sending some pictures of me or links to something funny.

I've offered to be someone he can call if he needs to about this situation. I told him not to worry and I'm not mad or upset that he's gone to be with his family and we have plenty of time. Which we do.

But do I keep writing supportive things to him and speaking my mind with no response back? Am I annoying him? i don't want to be an additional burden but I do have strong feelngs of connection to him already.

I miss him and his company.

He wrote back to me today from myspace. He says things are not going well with the family even though his sister will recover.

He says he's scared he's going to lose his mom...

I'm so glad he wrote to me to let me know what was happening. I'm sure its hard on him because he loves his mom so much. Its never easy to lose your parent.

I felt him (for those of you who don't believe in a mental connection to another feel free to gloss over this) think of me when he wrote the message and it was a feeling of love and security about me.

I feel much better and trust that I was right to believe in him.

I wrote a response to the message but I'm going to try and give him space so he can deal with what he has to deal with and Im not adding to the burden.

There is enough time that if its right we will come together after his problems are all settled I think.