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Well no, I think obviously she wants to be loved by somebody else and not you. Or else, like you said, she would come back. Sorry to be blunt, but that seems to be what is happening.

She is no longer your responsibility. Nor should you be worrying about what she is doing. You can't "make her see" anything. She isn't going to listen. She will have to find out things for herself. The more you try to hang on the easier she will slip away. Let go, for your own sake.

I understand that it hurts to see her dating other people.....but if you two broke up, and if it was her decision, there's not a lot you can do about it, I'm afraid. She's a big girl and is making her own decisions on who she wants to be with. If you two broke up, there's obviously a pretty big reason why, and I'd guess she's not coming back to you because she doesn't want to get back into that same situation.

You can't control who she sees, harmful or not. If she's dating on the rebound, that's her decision and hers alone. I can't remember the specifics of your breakup, or what may have been said after, but if you've made it clear that you would like another chance with her, that's all you can do. Pressuring her to get back together with you isn't going to do it, it'll only drive her further away. Is that what you meant when you said you've made up your mind, that she's the only one you want? If that's the case, I get the feeling you may be waiting a long time. People telling you to "move on" is NOT bad advice, especially in light of the fact that you're still this concerned with her actions after you're no longer with her!

So I won't say "move on." But I WILL say to give her the respect she deserves and let her make her own choices. She's able to do that, as well as you are!

Mar

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vlcm, I have to commend you.......for going to counseling and for realizing what would be bad for you and what you're not ready for. There's no law that says you have to stop loving her, or go out and date someone right away. You heal in your own way.....unfortunately, her way is a bit different, and hurtful to you because you still love her so much.

But you WILL heal. Not now, not next week, not next month, but you will. You're moving on just FINE, and your heart will follow when it's ready. If you don't want to date, you don't have to. You'll miss her for a long time, maybe remember her for the rest of your life, but eventually other people will start looking attractive to you.....because the heart hates not loving someone and having that love returned. But you don't need to worry about that until your mind and heart tell you they're ready to deal with it.

Mar

Oh nobody is saying its easy, or that you can do it at the drop of a hat. That couldn't be further from the truth. We are just saying it because its really the only option within your control. And other options (like obsessing over her, stalking her, begging her to come back, etc) are just unhealthy for you.

Counseling is a great idea. It will help you cope with things and eventually realize that your life isn't over. I know it seems like it now, as things are laying in ashes around you and your dreams are destroyed. However you will heal. We are all here to help, as are your friends that you are going out with.

A piece of you might always love her. And thats perfectly ok. It just won't consume your every thought like it does right now. Eventually other things will fill in the holes in your heart. But as Mar said, it will take time. Thats the hard part. That time can't pass quick enough. Just take it a day at a time. Tell yourself you just need to make it through to tomorrow. And eventually, the time will pass.

I'm not going to say "move on" but if she's already had 2 rebounds in 2 weeks? Buddy she's probably changed from when you first got together. I know it hurts to be the one left and for no valid reason, you keep asking what did I do? Why did this happen? One big thing I was wondering when I read your post was how old are the two of you? If she's acting like this then she sounds like she's pretty immature and doesn't have much self respect if she's going to just throw herself at other guys. If you were to take her back then she's going to walk all over you, she's got away with it once and you took her back so in her mind she can get away with it again. You don't need to "move on" but you definitly can move up, be the strong, mature one about your break up. It hurts I know, I've been dumped a few times too but the pain does stop and you have a life time ahead of you, don't fret on the past but look to the future.

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