am i hurting her too much?

Hey all, this is Shy again...

well, some of you guys might kno from my other posts that i have a long distant relationship (2hr drive). And well.. im only 14.. my girl and i argue a lot over stupid things and most of the time she say it hurts her but she doesnt see that im hurting also. I was her first boyfriend and she told me she loved me before we broke up.. she got with a few other guys and did not tell me about it. She even got with one of my closest friends and i recently found out from his current gf that my baby told him she loved him too... when i talk to her about this she told me she didnt even remember.. that seemed to be a lie. She said that she didnt know the meaning of love until a year after that. But for some reason i feel really hurt and we argued about this. I might be the one always bringing up things that will lead to an argument... i dont know why that is but i think its because she has kept a lot from me... i love this girl with all my heart. We both have given up chances for other relationships just to keep this going. She doesnt call me either... she tells my friends im too good for her and she cannot make me happy, i dont get it. I want things to work out so bad. If she says she loves me like the way i love her i would want us to build a stronger relationship where distance is not a thing. i want her to be committed but the past DOES bother me. How can i get over the past and everything she kept from me? i feel like shes been lyin to her and myself. Shes very outgoin and shy when it comes to being intimate. I love her a lot and want her to be happy. I was told from my friend that she cried everynight for me. I have trouble believing this but at times i feel the same. I want us to connect to each other, be honest, and become devoted. This is the girl of my life... but if she didnt kno what love meant then.. How do if she knows what it means now?

this is the "girl of your life"? hmm, cough, sorry, but at 14 that's doubtful. i'm 14 and i can understand loving someone deeply and not wanting to let them go, but the truth is at 14 we are still changing so much that by the time we're twenty we won't rocognize ourselves.

for now, just go with the flow and don't force the relationship. if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and even if it hurts, you'll be glad you let go.

Take it easy you are very young and are going to meet so many women , take it as it comes if it works out then hooray but if it dosent then take it as experience.

okay for one thing..what you said about this girl bein the girl of your life, esp at 14. Dude, you are young, have fun while you are at it. I'm 24, sure I found the girl of my life and I'm gonna marry her soon, but live it up as a teen. I remember at 14 I had no idea what love is/was, even people today at my age or older find it hard to find love. High school relationships are a lot different than "adult" relationships. If you're relationship isn't meant to be then it's not meant to be. You have good intentions, just go with the flow for now, but there are many fish in the sea..go fishing!! like the other replies state "if it works, it works, if it doesn't, it doesn't"

musicguy

i know theres goin to be many other girls in the future, but i wanted things to work out with this one. We had an argument 3 nights ago because my best friends girlfriend told me that she used to tell him things like "i love u" when they were together. This was after we broke up. I confronted her and she said she didnt know what love meant back then. I was really hurt becaused she told me the same thing and now i found out she didnt mean it back then. So i asked " if u didnt kno what it meant back then, what makes you think you know what it means now?" She says things that makes me thinks shes tellin the truth and i want to believe her but its hard for me to trust her. She has kept so much from me... she said she didnt remember sayin it. My best friend told me that she lies a lot but when i told him i believe her when she says she doesnt lie. The way i look into her eyez...how could a girl like that lie? why would she lie to me when im honest with her. Sure we argue a lot because of the lack of communication. But i just dont know what to do. Im having all sorts of mixed emotions. Sometimes she tells my friends she cant call because of long distance. Well she came back for the weekends and she havent had any contact... she said i was her first priority. Not beinga able to call from long distance is understandable, but shes in the city and probably out with her best friend again. I feel like shes playin me for a fool. I have no way to find out if shes lying or not. I just want her back. Is it normal feelin this way?