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Thread: My long distance relationship has finished.

  1. #1
    Member
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    Sep 2003
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    My long distance relationship has finished.

    Hello peeps,

    I would really appreciate your advice.

    I'm from London, UK and I met a girl on holiday last year in Zagreb, Croatia. I fell in love with her immediately. As the economy in Croatia is poor, I always paid for the flights to Zagreb or for her to visit me in London. I thought she was wonderful. As I always wanted to live and work abroad and because she made it clear she wouldn't move to the UK, I proposed to move to Croatia and was offered a job with a Marketing Consultancy. She used to be model is is obviously very good looking. She lives a healthy lifestyle which I like and the sex was amazing. However, the relationship took a turn one evening. We was invited to one of her friends wedding reception at a hotel in Zagreb and to be honest, I found it very difficult. Everyone at the dinner table looked as though they had just walked off a catwalk, including one of her friends who had collagen lip implants, a guy who also had collagen lip implants and implants in his pecks, a male supermodel and a TV presenter. Although the conversation started in English it soon turned into Croatian. I felt very insecure and I panicked. I stood up and told her I had to go outside but I soon returned. The next day I was so upset because I felt I had let her down and I had to go home the next day. The next time I saw her was on the south coast of Croatia where she works in the summer months and the place where I initially met her. I was really looking forward to seeing her but as soon as I arrived, I didn't recognise her. After the first two days, she showed no interest in me. She didn't like me wearing a baseball cap. She hated it when I hung my towel over the wardrobe door instead of out on the balcony. She told me my snoring wasn't sexy and I shouldn't eat with my mouth ful. She commented on how dirty my brothers stereo was which I borrwoed for the holiday. She observed some grime on the shower floor for two days to see if I would clean it up and observed the way I packed my suitcase. After much debate, we still decided that I should take the job but a week after I handed in my resignation she told me she wasn't in love with me, the relationship was finished and that she had met another guy on holiday whom she has had sex with. As I thought the fact of living together had put too much pressure on her I offered to find my own accommodation and live by myself, which made no difference. Up until four days ago, she sent me an SMS every day. She would wish me good night, ask me what I was doing and to tell me she wasn't happy if I she doesn't hear from me. I told her she finished the realationship and I had no reason to write to her anymore. I still feel very sad and I feel sick in my stomach because I loved her that much. One thing to bear in mind is that she was brought up through the war and left home to live by herself at 16. Apparently, she suffers from depression, gets very nervous, has personality changes which are all common symptoms from living through a war.

    I can accept the relationship is finished but I can't stop beating myself up because of what happened at the wedding reception and that everything is my fault.

    Your thoughts would be truly grateful.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    3

    Thank you

    Thank you Swing Fox,

    I really really appreciate your thoughts. I would like to think that if she had felt uncomfortable with my friends, I would have gone to see if she was OKAY, understood that it was an alien environment and supported her through and through. I've always given her the benefit of the doubt and looked at things from her perspective but I think it's time to draw the line and realise there's nothing I can do to change things, either by way of a phone call or email? It's just such a shame because it was so good when we were alone together and the relationship changed because of just one incident.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    139
    Wow! I'm sorry about your situation, but why would you want to be with a girl who sleeps around with other men anyway? Is it her looks that drive you crazy? If so, maybe you're so fixated with her looks so much that when you actually get to know her, then you'll probably not feel the same.

    Don't beat yourself up. Time will heal your heart, I wish you well...

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3
    Thanks for the reply Sunny Scott,

    I have to admit she was stunning. However, I also liked her personality and to be honest, I would haved loved her no matter what. The problem is that she saw insecurity in me when we were at the wedding reception. I felt uncomfortable within the environment I was in and panicked. Still, I think it would have been fair to sympathise with the situation I was in and odd that you can fall out of love with someone on the basis of one situation. I've always given her the benefit of the doubt and part of me thinks she made the story about about meeting and having sex with another boy a week after I went back to London from the holiday because she was so nervous about the prospect of living together. Then I offered to find my own accommodation and live by myself but she still declined! Although I haven't heard from her since last Thursday, i'm confused why she continued to SMS me when she was the one that finished the relationship. If I could change the past and her mind I would, but I think she is the one who should be making the effort if any?

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