Online Relationships...

Hello, I'm a 20 years old girl who is falling in love with a guy who lives VERY far from where I do. I'm from Spain and he's from US.

He'll turn 18 in a couple months, we have webcam chats, we call each other sometimes, etc. We like a lot each other, even love.

We talk everyday in chats, or in games, I really like him. I'd want to meet him IRL, but I have a very low self-estreem, even though he says that I'm deadly cute and sexy

We might meet next vacations (in some months....) if everything goes fine, and I would even move to US if he asks me to do so (But first I gotta visit him and like him IRL, also he gotta help me to get a home and a job).

I know, this kind of relationships are very hard... anyone had/has a relationship of this kind? I'd like to share experiences or try to find a way to get this to work.

Sorry for my engrish

Hello there!

I understand you have found a wonderful guy online and I understand you have some questions about how to go about your relationship.

I am currently in a similar situation, however in mine, I am the younger of the two. My boyfriend lives in the Netherlands and I live in the U.S. but we have plans to meet IRL in October. Actually, he's coming here for my birthday.

You are correct in stating that it is very difficult, with the distance and in my relationship, there is quite an age difference. However, I am here to tell you it IS possible. And you have already showed how mature and ready you are to make your relationship work by your statement about moving to the U.S.

You said you chat on the net or in games, but have you talked on the phone yet. Many people worry over internet meetings, but it helps a lot if you can hear their voice. I suggest you move your relationship forward by this small step first, and then start making plans to meet.

One comment I wanted to make, you say you have low self-esteem, but you see, there is one great advantage to internet dating, and that is the ability to see a person from the inside before knowing what they look like. Obviously, you know what each other looks like as you said you have webcams, but nonetheless, this guy has gotten to know you for YOU. And he must like you or he would not be discussing meeting you IRL. I know it is very hard to think this way and to realize that he accepts you, but try to quiet your worries and insecurities by really listening to what he tells you and really looking at yourself through another's eyes. It's not easy and I have my own issues with self-esteem, but it is something that can be helped.

These type of relationships take a lot of patience and compromise. Any problems that arise have to be worked through in a mature and level-headed way. I believe you can work through this relationship if you are both willing. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions, I'm more than happy to help you! Best wishes!

The only problem I see is that your low self esteem maybe a problem once you visit each other.

I was in a 'online relationship' for 9 months too. I am in the US and she was in the UK. I had really low self esteem too and when I got back from visitiing her... I was really down and depressed, I had the most amazing time of my life, but I was back, without her.. for who knows how long it would be. I would get mad and irritated at the littlest things.

Anyway, we broke up... a month or so later, she had enough of the pressure, she wanted to come to me madly.. and also that i couldn't handle my own pressure...

Anyway, look into ways to improve your own self esteem while you still can. Without it hurting your relationship. I wish I had really tried to improve my self esteem while still in my relationship. Now, I've done it.. working on it.. feeling better, but we are not 'together'... Help yourself and that will help your relationship in the end. One must be happy with themselves in order to be happy with someone else.

About age difference, I am 19, she was 25, she did still live at home though so that always helped as she was still dependant somewhat on the parents.

i have to agree with jack on the self esteem thing love ur self first i too was in an online relationship and we meet it was the best thing he came to my country and i went to his , but like jack when i got home i too got real depress and angry cause i was not around my bf and he ended it maybe because of the distance who knows but we still talk online sometimes .

so my advice to u is that these type of relationship are the hardest but when u both are strong it will work out

best of luck to u

and just stay postive