Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

  1. #1
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3

    My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

    I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years. When we first met he was working but about two years into the relationship he decided he wanted to take a break from work so he quit. For the last two years he hasn't had much desire to find a job or do anything. We were talking about getting married a while ago and he knows that I would like to get married but without an income it is difficult to save up for a wedding. My boyfriend is visually impaired and finds it difficult to find work. I make good money at my work but I don't feel very good about supporting someone who doesn't really try to get ahead. I have confronted him and tried to encourage him to find work or do something but he doesn't seem very motivated to do so. I am getting frustrated and annoyed but I still love him. Does anyone have suggestions as to what i should do or what I can do to motivate him?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  3. #3
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  4. #4
    Mar
    Member Mar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
    Age
    44
    Posts
    863
    I can't stand freeloaders, most people can't. 2 years is a hell of a long time to take a "break" from work. I'd seriously be questioning his reasons for not working, or even attempting to find a job. My fiance was out of work for a large part of the 2+ years we've been together, and it bugged the hell out of me thinking he was using me. But the economy sucks around here,and he DID just get a job, and was looking in the meantime. Don't sacrifice YOUR money for him, there's no excuse why he can't find a job somewhere, visually-impaired or not. A relationship is about 2 people combining their efforts in ALL ways, emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

  5. #5
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3
    Thank you Mar and KnowinMaSelf for your advice.

    I have tried to give him some dreams to motivate him like getting married and being a good father, etc. I think he feels that I am pressuring him instead of motivating him. In a way I do think he is questioning why is here on earth and what his purpose is. It is difficult for me to see him in such pain. He really has no real direction in life.

    He knows how I feel about him not working and trying. I am trying not to help him financially so that he will go out and earn money himself but sometimes I like going out so I end up paying for things cuz I can afford it. I am not sure if he is taking advantage of the fact that I work or not. I want to feel like I am being taken care of too! He is very caring and loving but is that enough?

  6.  

Top Threads
Struggling with hunting husband
Hey All, I'm having an internal struggle with myself and could use some words of advice. To start, I know people get all worked up about this
Jealousy? Self esteem and Lies.
Hi I'm new here and really don't know where else to turn. :( :sorrow: I'll be brief and all feedback is welcome. Long term relationship, 3 years
Girlfriend confessed some things that don't really bother me, but I fear she wants to dump me
So a little over a week ago, my gf of 2 years told me that she feels that she has compromised a lot of herself to be with me and fears for the future
Sex Obsessed Boyfriend Is Driving Me Crazy!!!
[B]My boyfriend has always loved sex. We have been together for over 2 years, but recently his love for sex has turned into more of an obsession and
Political Conflict
Looking for advice and people's experiences! I am questioning the relationship I am currently in. We have been together for several years and met
Priority?
Hi guys I really need help. I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him so much, but lately I feel like there is no room for
Stuck between TWO MEN!
In a tough situation. I was with my ex-boyfriend for 9 months, letís call him ďJohnĒ. We have a lot of things in common in that we love animals, we

Featured Threads
What eNotAlone gave you?
I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what
How to end things with him
Iíve been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is
My ex bf told me he wants sex, nudes and me to loan him money until he's stable... Should I lend $?
Hello.. I am 22 I met my ex bf (21) 3 years ago in college. He dropped out of college after the first semester.. he didn't go to finals. He stayed in
How Should I have handled it?
My GF and I were together for about 5 months. Things were great except for some of my questioning her online activity which challenged her. All
My Ex Husband still berates me
Hello, first off I am not sure why I am on a forum but.. I need an anonymous outlet I guess because my friends and family all say the same thing
Yall ready for a messed up one...
Okay, so i cheated on my bf about 6 month ms into our relationship with a guy 20 years older then me at our work. And it was a rule that it was only
Iím at a really bad state of mind right now
Itís been a little over the month since the breakup, since then, heís messaged me 2-3 times about random topics (that I donít care about), and has
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •