Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

  1. #1
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3

    My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

    I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years. When we first met he was working but about two years into the relationship he decided he wanted to take a break from work so he quit. For the last two years he hasn't had much desire to find a job or do anything. We were talking about getting married a while ago and he knows that I would like to get married but without an income it is difficult to save up for a wedding. My boyfriend is visually impaired and finds it difficult to find work. I make good money at my work but I don't feel very good about supporting someone who doesn't really try to get ahead. I have confronted him and tried to encourage him to find work or do something but he doesn't seem very motivated to do so. I am getting frustrated and annoyed but I still love him. Does anyone have suggestions as to what i should do or what I can do to motivate him?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  3. #3
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  4. #4
    Mar
    Member Mar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
    Age
    42
    Posts
    863
    I can't stand freeloaders, most people can't. 2 years is a hell of a long time to take a "break" from work. I'd seriously be questioning his reasons for not working, or even attempting to find a job. My fiance was out of work for a large part of the 2+ years we've been together, and it bugged the hell out of me thinking he was using me. But the economy sucks around here,and he DID just get a job, and was looking in the meantime. Don't sacrifice YOUR money for him, there's no excuse why he can't find a job somewhere, visually-impaired or not. A relationship is about 2 people combining their efforts in ALL ways, emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

  5. #5
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3
    Thank you Mar and KnowinMaSelf for your advice.

    I have tried to give him some dreams to motivate him like getting married and being a good father, etc. I think he feels that I am pressuring him instead of motivating him. In a way I do think he is questioning why is here on earth and what his purpose is. It is difficult for me to see him in such pain. He really has no real direction in life.

    He knows how I feel about him not working and trying. I am trying not to help him financially so that he will go out and earn money himself but sometimes I like going out so I end up paying for things cuz I can afford it. I am not sure if he is taking advantage of the fact that I work or not. I want to feel like I am being taken care of too! He is very caring and loving but is that enough?

  6.  

Top Threads
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
In need of help setting terms for ultimatum
So often I see friends who are dating really controlling and possessive people who make them give up the things that are important to him. One
I need an outside view on things
Bear with me I have a lot to tell you but after I get your opinion I shouldn't need much more help. I am about to break up with my girlfriend of
I would like to have some advice about my "relationship"
Hello! At the moment, I am sad and angry about my boyfriend. Actually we are best friends plus but we both say it feels like a real relationship
Problems with my boyfriends ex
I met my boyfriend back in April. I knew that he had previously been engaged to another woman. He told me that they weren't together and he told me
Stand off with fiance and best fiend
Im with my fiance for the past 12 years and all my friend and family love him. He is a great character. Everyone who knows him knows that he is
Breaking the break up loop
I (27M) met Emily (23) (E) about two and a half years ago when we were both getting out of relationships with our respective children's parents. She

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Weird crazy breakup
Here goes. We was together 4 and a half years, lived together for the most of that with her grandparents, yeah moved in pretty quick because of
is my bf racist? is there a future?
I am a bit dumbfounded and confused.. pls comment.. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. I look asian and he looks european. Things have not always
Great conversation but she Ghosted me?!
When I asked for her phone number, she kinda looked at me (the really dude? face). I knew it was over, but seriously it bothers me that we had a
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Wrapping your head around an incurable condition
How does one do that ? While my condition is not fatal it is incurable and my life quality will steadily deteriorate over time. Most possible will
My mom kept a secret for 28 years
I'm 28 years old, my mom always told me to not sleep around, said she never slept w anyone till she got married, etc. well randomly tonight she tells
Confusing relationship with ex
So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. There was a lot of hurt, I was really depressed for the first weeks until I got back on my feet and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •