Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

  1. #1
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3

    My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

    I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years. When we first met he was working but about two years into the relationship he decided he wanted to take a break from work so he quit. For the last two years he hasn't had much desire to find a job or do anything. We were talking about getting married a while ago and he knows that I would like to get married but without an income it is difficult to save up for a wedding. My boyfriend is visually impaired and finds it difficult to find work. I make good money at my work but I don't feel very good about supporting someone who doesn't really try to get ahead. I have confronted him and tried to encourage him to find work or do something but he doesn't seem very motivated to do so. I am getting frustrated and annoyed but I still love him. Does anyone have suggestions as to what i should do or what I can do to motivate him?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  3. #3
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  4. #4
    Mar
    Member Mar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
    Age
    44
    Posts
    863
    I can't stand freeloaders, most people can't. 2 years is a hell of a long time to take a "break" from work. I'd seriously be questioning his reasons for not working, or even attempting to find a job. My fiance was out of work for a large part of the 2+ years we've been together, and it bugged the hell out of me thinking he was using me. But the economy sucks around here,and he DID just get a job, and was looking in the meantime. Don't sacrifice YOUR money for him, there's no excuse why he can't find a job somewhere, visually-impaired or not. A relationship is about 2 people combining their efforts in ALL ways, emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

  5. #5
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3
    Thank you Mar and KnowinMaSelf for your advice.

    I have tried to give him some dreams to motivate him like getting married and being a good father, etc. I think he feels that I am pressuring him instead of motivating him. In a way I do think he is questioning why is here on earth and what his purpose is. It is difficult for me to see him in such pain. He really has no real direction in life.

    He knows how I feel about him not working and trying. I am trying not to help him financially so that he will go out and earn money himself but sometimes I like going out so I end up paying for things cuz I can afford it. I am not sure if he is taking advantage of the fact that I work or not. I want to feel like I am being taken care of too! He is very caring and loving but is that enough?

  6.  

Top Threads
Suspicions confirmed
I have a lengthy thread about my recently ended relationship already, but I wanted to start a new one. Ended 1.5 year relationship due to
Im very confused about my marriage
My husband works nights, I work days and we almost don't see each other. He comes home around 9 am and goes straigh to bed then wakes up before i
Should I ask for my furniture & t.v. back?
I have a long thread about my recent breakup. Ex continually lied to me, kept in touch with multiple exGF's, always placed blame elsewhere (it was
Why can't my boyfriend keep his promises to me and do what he agrees on?
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months and everything has been great until this last month. I went to my best friends house for
Was I justified to be annoyed?
I am nearly 8 years married, mostly happy and have no reason to question or doubt my relationship. Over the weekend, I found a text message from
He (22 m) says that he's not my (22 f) top priority and I forget about him all of the time. Help?
Alright so I want to preface this with that I'm aware that my boyfriend is probably being pretty emotionally manipulative in this but just hear me
Is there any hope for me.
Hello all- My boyfriend and I have been together for what is coming up on two years, at least until last Friday night. We rarely argue, and

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
College DRAMA??
*** This is the very FIRST WEEK ***College" as in NOT university- We're all 18 (ish) and live with parents**** Basically, the majority of the
Rude?
I took a girl out for dinner and drinks and didn't get a thank you. And was ghosted mid convo after the date. Now that I'm getting over the
On a dating site...just 2 weeks after break up
Can anyone shine some light on this.... 2 weeks after she dumped me, she is on Match...We were together for 2 .5 years...She dumped me once, then
Are we breaking up? How to act around him?
Hello, I have a problem to which I can't find a solution by myself and would love some advice! Here is the short story: 6 months ago I went to
Caught my partner of 20 years speaking to other men
I have been with my partner for 20 yrs this year,we have a16 he old son together .I love him so much,recently I was online and I found an email from
Am I dating the right guy at the wrong time?
Hi everyone. So..recently I've felt anxious and questioned the strength of my relationship and I'm not entirely sure why. I don't have any reason
Hello everyone tips / advice needed
Thank you everyone for the advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •