Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

  1. #1
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3

    My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

    I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years. When we first met he was working but about two years into the relationship he decided he wanted to take a break from work so he quit. For the last two years he hasn't had much desire to find a job or do anything. We were talking about getting married a while ago and he knows that I would like to get married but without an income it is difficult to save up for a wedding. My boyfriend is visually impaired and finds it difficult to find work. I make good money at my work but I don't feel very good about supporting someone who doesn't really try to get ahead. I have confronted him and tried to encourage him to find work or do something but he doesn't seem very motivated to do so. I am getting frustrated and annoyed but I still love him. Does anyone have suggestions as to what i should do or what I can do to motivate him?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  3. #3
    KnowinMaSelf
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6

    HEY...

    well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

  4. #4
    Mar
    Member Mar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
    Age
    42
    Posts
    863
    I can't stand freeloaders, most people can't. 2 years is a hell of a long time to take a "break" from work. I'd seriously be questioning his reasons for not working, or even attempting to find a job. My fiance was out of work for a large part of the 2+ years we've been together, and it bugged the hell out of me thinking he was using me. But the economy sucks around here,and he DID just get a job, and was looking in the meantime. Don't sacrifice YOUR money for him, there's no excuse why he can't find a job somewhere, visually-impaired or not. A relationship is about 2 people combining their efforts in ALL ways, emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

  5. #5
    Sweetie-Pie
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3
    Thank you Mar and KnowinMaSelf for your advice.

    I have tried to give him some dreams to motivate him like getting married and being a good father, etc. I think he feels that I am pressuring him instead of motivating him. In a way I do think he is questioning why is here on earth and what his purpose is. It is difficult for me to see him in such pain. He really has no real direction in life.

    He knows how I feel about him not working and trying. I am trying not to help him financially so that he will go out and earn money himself but sometimes I like going out so I end up paying for things cuz I can afford it. I am not sure if he is taking advantage of the fact that I work or not. I want to feel like I am being taken care of too! He is very caring and loving but is that enough?

  6.  

Top Threads
It's long, but please, I need all the help I can get.
I'm 32 years old and have been in a relationship for 6 years. My daughter and I live with my boyfriend in a very nice house that we bought together
My boyfriend doesn't believe I was raped by my ex.
I've known my boyfriend since I was 8 years old. Our families were super close and I was head over heels for him. We recently got reconnected a few
My boyfriend suggested breaking up
Hi everyone. So I have finally had a discussion with my boyfriend about how it bothers me that he hangs out with other girls one-on-one a lot. So it
Objective Opinion please?
I guess this is a somewhat petty argument in the grand scheme of things but I'd like to get a few objective opinions here because I feel like doing
Should I try to work it out
I've been dating this girl for a year and we both had marriage in our sights but recently I found out we are distant cousins. My great aunt is her
She still lives with her ex
I met this wonderful woman who stole my heart and we got engaged less than 4 months into the relationship. I did say yes because I love her and I
Need some serious insight from anyone willing to have the patience to read ALL.
Good morning everyone, I joined this form basically because of my current situation. It is going to be very very long and descriptive to help out

Featured Threads
I would kill just to talk to her again:(
I know, it's pathetic. But it's been 6-7 weeks, post breakup, and I text her only once during that time, which was a short and uplifting text, but to
One year after my wife left, am I ready to move on?
My three year marriage came to an end about a year ago. During the three years, we were very happy, mainly because I was extremely giving. She came
Girlfriend Problems
My friend and I have had a "thing" for about a year now and we're technically dating. We both love each other and we've grown very comfortable around
Too much confusion...
About month ago I felt perfect , everything was going just fine, I mostly stopped thinking about my ex,and then bam - she contacted me. She contacted
Did I do the right thing? Dating a guy with kids whos living with his baby mama
Okay so basically I struck up a friendship with someone online who told me he had three kids and he was still living with his baby mama. The big red
How to make things up with my family?
Hi all, About a couple of weeks ago, I had an argument with my parents that escalated into something way bigger than it should have been, and
She isn't happy with me anymore.
Hi, I just found out about this site and I decided to ask you guys for help. I've been dating a girl for 4 months. She has anxiety and sometimes gets
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •