Enough Being Taught After Marraige?

I hope this posting is ok, and I will not make multiple postings this time. I am conducting a survey with several christian churches about how much they're being taught after they're married, about sex, what is ok and what isn't ok. Here is my website here:

link removed

If anyone would like to talk about the matter I'm open for it. In my church they don't teach us anything about what is ok after you're married and what isn't ok. It's kind of frustrating, especially if you and your spouse disagree on what you think is ok and what isn't. I've been married 4 years and we're still arguing over what is right and what isn't.

So, I hope this post is ok because it is sincere. I'm not selling anything or promoting anything or anything like that, I just want to know if anyone else out there is just as confused or has similar problems... hopefully I'm not the only one! Thanks.

Josh

Well there is a problem here, what the chuch ok is one thing and what a married couple think is ok is another.

What you trying to do, is have your church put down in writting as a law, what they think should be allowed or not in a married couples bedrooms.

So what if what your spouse wants to do something else? does she stay frustrated or feel guilty the rest of her/his lifes?

You think just because its written down on paper that those wants and needs are just going to vanish? of course not.

This is why education is important, and getting to know the person you intend to marry before tieing the knot, this way you can determine if they match "YOUR" values. everyone has a different set, even different churches!

To me its very simple, if someone is uncomfortable with something, then its wrong, if they are ok with it, then there is no problem.

I started to fill out the survey but stopped due to too many 'i dont knows'. I mean, the subject of sex and what is okay never comes up at all in church. LOL. Just that it's not okay before marriage and that anything goes after marriage as long as its between husband and wife. Hope that helps...

Yeah, I agree with you completely. That was one mistake before we got married was talking about sex... but on the same hand we were both virgins and I'm not sure I would have know what my values were at the time.

You are right, in my church there is nothing written about what is ok after marraige, just lots of stuff for the before marraige stuff. I guess what it comes down to, is that some things I think are ok to do, she thinks is a sin and just refuses to do it, won't even try it and see if she likes it. I think it is more of how you feel and are comfortable with, because we both prayed about it (seems weird to pray about sex stuff), and we both felt that what we separately believe is right.

So, that's my frustration. We both have different views on what is ok and what is a sin in sex. And of coarse I'm not going to force my wife to do anything. It just seems like there's no solution, except for my church to go out and say what is ok and what is sin. True, even then she still might not want to try anything, but that is the reason why she refuses to try things.

Spygirl, you too also prove my point that there are too many I don't knows!