Re: Sadly amazing story

Check my story out, please. I need all the advice that I can get and probably more...

When I was 19, I planned a pregancy, and got pregnant, and my then-boyfriend (who became my husband) rejected the whole pregnancy, but I struggled to have the baby. That baby is now my 9 year old son with me, divorced. I never regreted it - because even though it was so terribly terribly hard at times that I want to give up... it was the right thing to do.

When I got divorced 5 years ago, I met my second chance in life... we had the perfect relationship, one that was so stable, and love was stable, and we never fought. He was a European and had his contract finished after 1 year that we dated, and he left. I waited for him for another 2 and a half years... I broke it off late last year because there was no way he could return to me (physically)

This year, I met a guy that I fell in love with. The relationship was not as stable as the earlier one, but guess what happened. After dating officially for 5 weeks, I got pregnant. And yes, due to miscalculation, I took the morning after pill, and yes, guess what, the pill didn't work. I am now 11 weeks pregnant.

Then, all that, the father of my baby refused to commit, nor let me go. He just stood in between. Eventually, he said that he had to let me go.

I cannot be a single parent again, and I can't go for an abortion. No one in the world knows except for one friend that lives far away. My parents does not know. I choose adoption. But, I don't know whether I can go through with it. I need all the strength in the world and more. I have to go away for the birth, and when I start showing soon, so no one would ever know.

What am I to do?

Micheleow,

I understand that this is all very hard on you. Being a single parent once, and now, on your way with a second child. I don't know if you want this, but do you think your parents might help you out and make things easier on you? If so, let them know.

I also admire your courage to go through the pregnancy and not choose abortion.

Well, I don't have much advice to give except to wish you lots of luck in whatever decisions you make. And I hope that everything turns out good at the end.

I dont have any advice as such... but I want to tell you about a friend of mine.

My friend had a daughter at 18 as a single parent. I had my son at 20 as a single parent also. We made a pact 3 years ago that we would never have another child as single parents. Only with rings on our fingers, even tho thats no guarantee. Her daughter, now 13 is horrible. I wont get into it but she is a nightmare. However, my friend and I both got into relationships, hers was with a man that wont commit. He has an alcoholic type personality but isnt an alcoholic. My friend eventually accidently became pregnant agin to him when she was 30. This guy said he would be there but isnt really. She went through incredible shame at ending up a single parent again.

Yet.. her son (now two) is a joy. He saved her. She may never meet anyone again ready to take on her 2 children, but she is reconciled. Her son has made everything worthwhile. He is the most amazing child and has such a happy disposition despite his fathers personality.

My girlfriend dreamed as a kid of a romantic future with the fairytale wedding. So far her hopes have been unrealised.

My point is, I guess that sometimes things dont turn out the way they were supposed to. Sometimes we find ourselves happy despite the mistakes we make.

Whatever you decide to do, do what you think is right. Dont worry about how you will be perceived by others. They are probably making their own mistakes as we speak.