I am not sure if this is a self esteem problem

I believe I have a antisocial personality disorder, but have not been diagnosed. I feel very guilty a lot of the time for the way I would talk to my loved ones and treat them. I smoke pot on a regular basis. I am a well respected professional. My problem is I have no friends. I had friends in high school, but I always felt like a follower and eventually all my friends went their separate ways after high school. I am shy and fear rejection in making friends. I also tremble when I talk with people I am not used to talking with. Even if the person is extremely nice and I am not doing the talking, I literally shake, teeth chatter and all. It is not noticeable to them, but I feel it. What do I do? I am on Effexor, Topamax, and Lexapro for these problems and nothing helps too much.