some advice needed... plz help me

I grew up in the ghetto all my life. Now i am in raytown, missouri, one of the richest white citys in missouri. I am half mexican and half white. I live with my biological mom and dad. i have a brother and a sister

when i fist when to raytown middle in 8th grade, i was to some people a "wigger" and i never had a lot of friends. my mom and dad bought me k mart clothes because they had 3 kids and low income. i dont know if that was the reason noone liked me or what.

then before 9th grade, i decided to change my image around. i was blinded... or just dumb. i thought i was going to become a "skater" by dressing up in jeans, vans, and food t-shirts (shirts that have food logos on them, you know, "novelty tees" is whta their called when you buy them in stores). I had my hair up in spikes all the time, looked to gross to even touch. i got ridiculed over that. well that year i finally felt depression for the first time and realized how dumb i was and how i didnt have a single friend. did i bring it upon myself? what did i do wrong?

now, i come upon sophomore year. i finally decided to just be me, some jnco jeans and button up short sleved shirts. not any gay skull designs, just like plaid blue colors. i am getting contacts, and cutting my hair. what do you think people will do? do you think they will have matured and not even care, or make fun of me and say "you changed ur goddamn style again..."? did i deserve to get ridiculed and unliked bcuz i just joined the skool?

i am goin in to 12th grade this year and i know that a lot of people can be mean trust me u didn't deserve anything............. that is how it was for me people judged me because i was a little over weight........ i even had a nick name BIG RED my mom always told me if someone is making fun of u is because they r jelous of u in some causes that might not be true but u just to think that u r better and just walk away but u got to remember something that i did wrong is that u can never show amotion in front of them cause if u do there is another thing they can make fun of u about and if u can't take it anymore stand up to them and that should tell them that u r not afraid and that u r not goin to take it anymore itis 2003 some people got to get a life

people are just judgemental. no you didnt deserve to be treated how you did. just be yourself and if they dont like it, well screw em'. i know from experience how hard it is to put up with peoples $hit but just be yourself, have fun be strong and be real. someone has to. 8)

ok , seems you got two problems here, one is a bit of racism, and that is just plain ignorance.

on the other hand, your looking for approval from others on you style and hobbies/sports. dont do that!! you look at all those great idols of yours, you think they care whether the local yocals approve of what he is doing? ya need attitude, look at marilyn manson, (not saying you shoulddd look like him lol) he was just a regular local jewish dude from Boca Raton Fla, he found his gimmick, he wasnt trying to impress the locals.

Just do what makes YOU happy, dont worry about the locals that cant accept your diversity, your different, thats cool, they cant handle it, tough.

find out what you want, what you like, and dont try and fit in with those people, believe you me, you dont want to!. find your own grove, and live it!!

good luck! gremlyn