My boyfiriend dumped me because he has to work too much

i had this boyfriend who i really really loved named tony. ever since i met him ive been so happy, well until today. he told me we needed to talk n thats when i knew i was ***ed. we really like eachother (i guess, its sketchy cause he dumped me) i have the convo down below but i just wanna know a few things. If he just wants to be friends out of pity or he feels bad or somethin like that, if there is a chance that he is gonna not work as much and we can hook back up again, if i should just move on, or if there is any way to make him change his mind. i am desparate for help because i really really love this guy n he says he loves me just as much, but i dont want it to end, specially like this....

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i dont think this relationship is working out. i work too much and we barely get to see eachtoehr. we never talk on the phone and we only talk online and its never about anything other than when we aregon see each other next. i really id like you but iwas thinking and i think my life is way too busy with work n stff right now to have a boyfriend. and i dont wanna hhurt u in the long run so i think we should break up now

Tap ass G: but next week u r gonna get some days off

Tap ass G: n i didnt even know u wanted to talk on the phone

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: yes i am but one of those days is my moms birthday

Tap ass G: cause if u do i have no prob doin it

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: so thats two days and two days only for awhile

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i cant keep lyin and goin into work early

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: and its not that we dont tlak o n the phone its just that we dont talk

Tap ass G: the reason y we r always talkin about when we get to see eachother next is cause i miss u sooo much

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: we only talk online and thats not even like talk talk

Tap ass G: u even said it was gonna get better when we started school

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im said thyat

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: but part of me doesnt believe it

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i donno if it will

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: and i dont wanna hurt you so its over

Tap ass G: u r hurtin me a lot more endin it

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im hurting me too.

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: but its better early than later

Tap ass G: we can make it thru this babe

Tap ass G: please dont do this

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im sorry but..ive amde up my mind

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im really sorry

Tap ass G: please

Tap ass G: im crying

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i dont qwanna hurt u anymore

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im sorry please dont cry

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: we can saitll be friends

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: and who knows..maybe when everythings not so crazy we can ge t back togather

Tap ass G: tony

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im sorry///pl;ease dont cry

Tap ass G: this is just gonna make things worse

Tap ass G: just because things arent perfect doesnt mean u have to give up

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i donno. we can still be friends so maybe itll make it better

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: and like i said..theres always the chance of getting back together when things arent so crazy in mah life

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im really sorry...

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i feel horrible buti know i ts for the better

Tap ass G: ur wrong

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i might be..i odnno

Tap ass G: u have no idea how lucky the both of us are

Tap ass G: ive met a ton of guys n none of em even come close to u

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: u told me u only met one

Tap ass G: yeah back when i was lookin for guys

Tap ass G: but once i found u it was only u

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i know that but sitll there are more people. im not looking anymore

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: my life is too busy n crazy

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: ur the perfect guy u deserve better

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: this isnt ur fault its mine

Tap ass G: listen

Tap ass G: if u really want a serious b/f like u said b4, u cant just give up when everything doesnt go perfect

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i know i cant ubt ists not that its not perfect its jsut my life is too busy right now i work too much and stuff

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: andi cant cvhange how much i work

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: ive tried

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i need the money

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: but ive made up my mind..im sorry hunny. i still wanna be ur friend and if u dont wanna ill understand

Tap ass G: we can make this work

Tap ass G: this all isnt entirely ur fault

Tap ass G: ive been a bastard about u havin to work

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: letsn ot balme anyone. whats done is done for now

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: maybe it can work later on

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i donno we'll have to see

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: like i saidi still wanna be ur friend

Tap ass G: this is a huge mistake

Tap ass G: even if u think i deserve better i already think i got or had the best, im just gonna end up waitin for u ne ways

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: we'll know in the future

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: im not the best

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: u can find better trust me

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: now i have to go

Tap ass G: where?

Tap ass G: dont go

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i need to get ready and shower and stuff

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i have to im sorry goodbye hunny

Tap ass G: we can still b friends but this really hurts

Tap ass G: bye

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i know it hurts me too but maybe its all for the best

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: bai

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: not bai forever

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: bai for now

Tap ass G: its not for the best

Tap ass G: how the hell can i get u to see that?

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: ill be home at around 830

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: ill talk to you then. im sorry sweetie ..bai

Tap ass G: i have to work @ culvers tonite so ill bb at like 1030

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: k ill talk to u then

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: baii hunny. im sorry again

Tap ass G: ggrrr will u ***in think about this?

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: yes

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: i will

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: but i donno if thatll help

D0nTLeTmEgeTmEe: baiii

If this is the way he really feels, that he doesn't have the time to give you a worth-while relationship right now, well, it's better to "handle" it now than later in my opinion. He seems willing to keep the door open, in case things change in the future.

I do have to question breaking up in an IM chat. Or is that just me getting old?

I'm sorry you've been hurt, I can certainly relate to that. I guess the question is whether or not you're willing to wait for his work situation to change. As SwingFox says, "only You can make You happy." (Sorry to "borrow" that SF, but I really like it.)

and you guys did this over email? ouch. Rule number one, never have real conversations over the email....That in and of itself shows the two of you are lacking in communication skills.

From reading the email, its sounds like the friends comeback was to calm you down. He was dead set on breaking up until you started to become upset, he does not want to hurt you....he cares about you.

I think of course you can be friends, but I don't think that is the solution for now. You cannot go from lovers one day to pals the next.

When you talk to him, demand you do it in person. Talk about this issue face to face and see what you can work out. The Balance is tough, but I dont think its the issue here, I think the issue is when you do communicate it is lacking in quality for him. You can have great relationship even when you dont have time, you just have to make the time you do have really wonderful.