So depressed by rejection that even solicits suicide

Hi, this is my first time to post my pain on a web site. I just need someone to share with it.

I have been trapped by heavy depression that even solicits me to kill myself these days. It started when a girl, who I really fell in love with, left a town four days ago.

Since last year when I first saw her and had enjoyable conversations with her in a coffee shop, she really got me. I asked her out several times but she did not agree, saying she would like but she was too busy. I could swallow it and tried to keep a distance from her. Then she approached me instead of. We made several appointments to have coffee or to study together. However, she did not call me back and those appointments did not realize.

I did not upset because I think I really liked her. I believed that she also found some connection with me and I just wanted the right timing to come. Strangely, I had kind of fun by fantasizing about being with her someday. That was why I did not ask her whether she had a boy friend. I think she did one, who was out of a town, though.

As such, we were still cool. When we ran into on a street or in a class, we had a very short but fun time to chitchat. Even she then showed her some sweetness to me. And then, I asked her to go out again. She replied me that when she had a time, she would call me. I waited one month but my phone never rang. It was very disappointing and then I decided to avoid her. I still really liked her, though.

Three months after, we bumped into and a couple days later finally went out together. I had a great time and I thought she did, too. My passiveness might be wrong but I did not want her to go out with me again if she felt uncomfortable. So, I just asked her to call me up when she wanted to see me, saying I would not call her up. She said to me she would. I waited and waited. Again, waiting was kind of fun to me, allowing me to fantasize about her. I knew she would move out in two months. So, I expected her to call me up at least one time before she took off. But she did not. The next day she left a town a huge pain crushed me. Still, I just cry, drink and throw up again and again. I feel empty, dark and depressed because every little thing reminds me of her.

You might say that I should have called her up but I believed in her to the last minutes that she would give me a call. You might also say that I am a kind of creepy that cannot stop thinking of a just girl, not even a girl friend. Furthermore, you might say that she was mean to me. However even I don't know why I suffer from so serious pain that solicits suicide. Maybe, I am a recent graduate and my job will start one month later. So, I have too much time to think. Maybe, I do not have either many friends or trustful ones to share with this. Maybe, I have a regret that I did the similar thing to a girl, who really liked to me. Maybe, I am so vulnerable that I committed suicide before. It sounds cheap, she was the best girl I have ever met. I still like her. I really do

If anyone have any thought on my situation, please drop me a line.

first of all you are not creepy, love is a natural thing. Its clear u really like this girl, but u r still not sure how she feels about you. U need 2 stop fantasysing what it will b like her and do something. Life is short and u need 2 take risks sumtimes and this is one of those occasions. I think you need 2 contact this girl as soon as you possibly can, if she turns out 2 like u back all well and good, u might have something really special, if she doesn't feel the same way u will realise she wasn't the one for you and with time you will move on. As they say ull never no if you dont ask. Take a risk and save urself b4 u do something stupid and hurt urself. There is no point in getting suicidal ove this as you still r yet 2 know how she feels. She may have a gd excuse 4 not foning u bck ull never no until u ask her, so go ahead and contact her.

Gd luck

First of all don't stress so much over one person. I know that it's hard but you can't get depressed or angry...you simply have to shrug it off and distract your mind. I've been rejected by the same guy twice and I really had feelings for him...but I realized I'm worth more and he isn't worth getting all hung up on and upset over. I'm not trying to be mean but here's something to think about....do you love yourself? You cannot love someone else and expect love and happiness if you do not first love the person in you. Build yourself up, figure out who YOU are...then try love. Get out and meet people who will stand by ur side. Don't resort to drugs of any kind...I've been there and I've almost killed myself. It just hurts the person that you care about and turns them off. Also, if you've done this to a girl before chances are Fate is getting you back. Good luck and feel better! You're worth a lot more than you think!

in my opinon what this girl did was rude. i think you should get ahold of her and ask her straight out why she never called you and what she honestly really feels about you. please dont commit suicide because of something like this. dont make a permanent choice to go with a problem that isnt going to last forever. if you do, you'll never know what could have been...

Annonomous, Smokeycat and emptysoul. I really appreciate your responses and I started to feel a little better. Still, I cannot stop thinking about her and feel down so badly, though.

Actually, I just e-mailed her (I don't know her new number.) to contact me but I am not sure whether she will. More likely, she will not. Should I keep trying to reach her or not? If I reach her, I will straight her up to ask how she really feels about me. Even though she rejects me, should I keep in touch with her as a just friend? More likely, she will reject me but she will not mind keeping in touch with me? Again, I still like her a lot, yeah, I know she is rude, though

It would probably be best if you cut this girl out of your life completely. It's extremely hard to do and I know you need some closure. If she calls or e-mails you back talk to her. If not...go on with your life. You can get out of this pit she left you in trust me. Go out and meet some new people...have fun and forget about her.

Hey - I gotta admit - I just skimmed your letter cause the 'suicide' mention alarmed me. So, keep that in mind re: my advice although if you were sincerely contemplating that I stand by my advice, friend. I think if you are feeling so that ANY cirmcumstances would make you want to be alive - I would say - from experience, that this is not about the girl. The girl situation may suck but, and I say this as fact, your life and the opportunities ahead are what is important. What is going on with you now and why you feel this way is crucial. The girl situation is not - in fact, I believe, dealing with what is going on now will not make this "life or death" re: a girl situation in the future. I'm no expert - I'm older than you probably (in my 30's) and when I was younger I had similar feelings but I got the right help and not suicidal thoughts I would never consider. I don't know if this helps - but I do feel the important thing isn't the girl right now its making you feel your okay as is. Take care.