My boyfriend and I have been together now for 10 months and approx. 2 months ago I moved into his apartment. I’ve known from the very beginning of our relationship that he looks at porn and we agreed that as long as it didn’t affect our relationship that there was nothing wrong with it. Shortly after I moved in with him I discovered a suitcase that was packed full of several hundred c.d.’s that he had burned off of the internet that included porn pictures and movies. He also hid several hundred porn pictures on his hard drive. We discussed this problem and he agreed not to download anything else and to destroy all that he had burned and downloaded.
Just recently however, I discovered that hidden in his favorites were 30 or 40 porn sites that he has visited (including some teen sites). I confronted him about this because we have his 17-year-old son living with us and I didn’t feel that he needed to see what his dad was looking at. He got angry and accused me of snooping. Now the real problem here is that since the beginning of our relationship we only have sex approx. once a week, which is just not enough for me. He and I have discussed this issue on numerous occasions and he just always made excuses……too tired, too busy, low sex drive. Well recently this has become an issue AGAIN and this time he freely admitted that he looks at porn and masturbates very frequently, therefore he feels this may be why he doesn’t want me on a regular basis. I had suspected this for a long time, however I guess I just tried to deny it hoping the problem would go away.
Of course this news was somewhat of a relief, because I was thinking that there was something wrong with me but on the other hand it just really hurt me knowing that this has gone on for so long and knowing that he can get off looking at a computer screen when he has the real thing wanting him regularly. He said because he loves me so much and he doesn’t want to loose me that he would stop doing this. I’m afraid however, that he is addicted and that he won’t be able to stop. Should I insist on him getting counseling? Should I stay with him or end our relationship now? Is this something that he can stop doing on his own? I’ve noticed that other people on this site have had similar problems and would like to know what you all think?