Forgiveness, My letter.

This is the end of my journey of anger. I now shall embark upon my quest for love and forgiveness. I sat here today and pack away the final remnants of my love. I sealed the box with this letter... I may give it to her, I may not. That is not important. I have shared very little of myself with you all only because I felt it was strange to give advice and then ask for it. So I post this letter as my testament to forgiveness. In the end only love can persevere, hate and anger can never overcome.

Dear Jennifer,

I hope that this letter finds you in good spirits and good health. I'm sitting here pondering whether I should even write this letter. I wonder if you will ever read this. Well that's not entirely important this letter is more for me anyways. I've gathered up the last of your things. They sat in my closet for a long time and I've never been fully able to put it away for good. Today, I sit facing you, your photos. I haven't looked upon them in a long while. Your smile brings comfort and sadness to me, interesting no?

Looking back upon this past year I'm filled with many mixed emotions. I have done so much and accomplished so many of my goals. I have discovered who I am. I meditate now, I strive for inner peace. Which brings me here. Upon my quest for self fulfillment, inner peace and positive growth I have learned many things. I have learned the power of will. I have learned the strength of convictions and I have come to understand the meaning of forgiveness.

This one last thing has sat patiently in the back of my mind, my heart. Waiting for me to be strong enough to face it. The hurt I have endured has changed me, for the better. Now I understand that I must release that anger, I have to set you free if I wish to be truly happy. I do not know if you understand everything I'm saying or if it really matters to you either way. I somehow think this might help you as much as it has me.

As I place this last photo in the box, I smile bittersweet. It is a photo of my formal. I remember how happy I was that night. Though I can see sadness in your eyes, I am still fond of that memory.

I have much to thank you for. Yet such words are hard to say. I want you to know that in time, I will truly understand what you have done for me and what you have shown me. You have helped turn me from a boy to a man. That I will thank you for. I hope that you can someday forgive me for the mistakes I have transgressed. And think only good of me.

I do wish you the best in your life Jennifer, may you find the happiness and contentment you seek. I shall pray for you, for everyone. Jennifer I forgive you…

Andrew Crook

You will have a place in my heart, forever.

That's good man, really really good. Touching & Straight from the heart!

This letter was the end of one journey and the beginning of another. My time here at enotalone has been something I will defiantly cherish. I've helped and through that have been helped.

I promise this, my time here is far from done. As long as people need advice I will do my part to help them. My goal is to share my knowledge and experience and to continue to grow from others.

I look forward to our continuing relationship enotalone.

the only guy ive ever loved hurt me. i hurt him. we hurt each other. we are not officially bf/gf (we would be if it wasnt for my constant "no") but we pretty much act like it and still talk all the time. i wont go out wth him because i think that once he gets me, no matter how much he loves me and tries, he still finds a reason to get out of the relationship, and most likely a reason involving a beautiful girl that he doesnt love, but still wants a run with. ive done this a lot too (with guys of course). it seems that when we stay in THIS situation, and don't totally let one have the other, we are more committed because not all is conqured. but if the only way we can stay together is by staying apart, then how can anything ever change for the better?

Hmm, was this post meant to be for my letter or a new post? In regards to your question... You cannot be with someone and be apart at the same time. However, you can love someone and still not meant to be with them. I think you are both comfortable with the relationship you both have. Well at least one of you are. Is there hope? Only through communication can you take it to the next step.

I think however that you might be in a cycle of rejection and fooling around. One last thing. Being GF and BF has little to do with the actual title and more with the actions. If you do everything a couple does, but don't have the title, you are as good as dating. Why can't you just accept that fact and fully commit. Unless you don't want to that is.

This post is a little off topic though. I will be happy to continue it in a PM or a new post if you wish.