just want your opinions.. was it right of her?

[quick note: i know this is in the wrong forum, but i can't find the right one, so i guess one of the moderators or so will move it to the right forum, sorry.. and thanks.]

hey hey...

well as some of you might know, i've posted a couple times asking for advice because of my ex..

well now, it's still about her...

but not about relationship or so...

well, ok.. first of all, this is how our history looks like..

we got to know each other...became friends....trusted each other...got together...broke up....remain good and close friends, i'd say.. she's like my sister, i'm like her brother... kinda thing...

so that's that..

well when we first started talking, i was in a very miserable situation, thinking life's shit, thinking of suicide, trying it... etc..

and i told her about it, and she practically knew everything.... and i trusted her with it...

and i've been telling her things i wouldn't tell any other person (except my best friend... who's like a brother to me..) things like.... problems i have with drugs (not anymore) or... what drugs i wanna try and shit like that...

well today, her mom came up to me, and told me to sit down, and we had this really long conversation.

so it turns out, that my ex.. who's like a sister to me... told her mom all the things i told her, like.. my problems...

now there are a few things... i dunno.. maybe it was shit of me telling her all these things, because i should have known she couldn't handle them properly, and maybe that's why she told her mom...

or maybe it was the right thing of her to tell her mom, because after the conversation i had with her, i thought about everything again, and it gave me a different picture and everything..

and her mom told me, that she will not tell my mom anything of this (which i really appreciate)...

but i don't know.... should i still trust her? i mean... of course i will... but then again, i'll keep thinking about this...

so really, i just want to know what you people think...

it did help though... but i dunno...

just wanna see what you guys think. thanks.

Well, not knowing really all you told her, but just assuming based on what you said...YES, I think it was very acceptable.

First of all, you seem to have dumped some VERY serious stuff in you lap...how could you expect her to handle this all on her own? Especially as she may not know truthfully how to help you.

Secondly, she CARES about you!!! If someone I loved told me that they wanted to kill themselves and numb themselves with drugs - you can be SURE that I would be contacting someone. Personally I thought is was pretty fair of her to tell her mom and not a school counselor or a psychologist or YOUR PARENTS - someone that could get you some help!

Should you trust her again? ABSOLUTELY - SHE HAS YOUR BEST INTERSTERS AT HEART!!!!

Now, don't get me wrong - I do understand why you feel betrayed. But please understand where she was coming from. The last thing she wants is to find you dead and then wonder the rest of her life if she could have stopped it!

Call her, explain that you feel a bit betrayed...and THANK HER for caring so much about you!!!!! Perhaps the two of you could discuss what you consider privledged info and what she considers info that HAS to be shared...

Good luck

Generally when people tell others about there problems its for many reasons. First off it is a cry for help regardless if the person telling the problems see it. The mere fact that you call your issues "problems" implies that you understand that they are a negative attribute in your life.

You told her these things so that you could release the fear of hiding it. Also you hoped for some advice and/or comfort from her, which you received.

I think you knew she would tell her mother; a good friend would defiantly try to get you help. The test of true loyalty is not what someone does for you, but what they give up. She was willing to sacrifice your trust and friendship to help you. Most people wouldn't do that, they would rather keep your opinion high of them while you waste away.. She is a true friend. Clearly her intent was not to harm, but to help.

You even said it yourself that things have gotten better. It might be hard now to thank her, but in time you will see this action for the blessing it really is. I wish you luck and I hope for your continuing friendship.

ok...

thanks a lot for that... i'm glad i have her as a friend... and thanks for your inputs...

i wasn't really upset with her, i was just a bit confused on what to do and everything. but you helped. thanks a lot.

later.