Was I Molested??

I am not really sure how to start this, I don't talk about it much. When I was 9 years old I was come onto, and had sexual relations with another male who was my friend and 14 years old at the time. As far as I can remember this occurred numerous times over a period of maybe 6 months or so and often took place during sleep overs or parents gone to work during summer and involved everything but anal sex. This was my first sexual experience and while I took part in it all i felt deep seeded shame when it ended(to this day I cannot remember why...maybe he moved away???). To this day I have not told my older brothers or mother as I am so ashamed and have actually only told 4 people. This all happened 16 years ago and I still think about it. The problem is, I was 9...I remember what I was doing and I was in control of my actions. He never beat me or forced me at all. I went along with everything. I am not gay now, nor am I concerned that I may be, I just don't know how to feel about this...thing...this dark secret I always hide away: cause I went along with it all.

Thanx for your time

Ready my post...and answeres maybe it could help hopefully this site is good and people who give advice are extremely educated....see ya keep in touch....see ya

altough i am a male we are different i think this effects you more than what happened to me...but LIFE GOES ON ...right???

my theory..(I diiddnt make this world...It was givin to me)...but hey theres laws and shit like that so i wish the best for you i am sorry i feel your pain....see ya i wish i could help ya more but i am in the same JAM!

Umm... Well you were so young you really didn't know, so yes depending on the other guy and if he was aware of what he was doing to you.

I doubt this was much of anything other then experimentation for the both of you and not all that unusual. Do what you need to to move on, don't be afraid to tell people if you feel the need. You were just a kid and didn't know. IMO

You were young, you most likely didn't know any better.

You could tell someone, your mother perhaps... That may help you feel better about the situation. I know it may be hard, otherwise just try to ignore it. There really isn't a whole lot you could do about it anyways.

i absolutley do not agree with them last posts...if someone who has an education could help you should listen to them otherwiser dont listen to those people.\\

atleast dr,dentist, 4 years of college..you can tell listen to the way the speak1

Well IMO everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

It is in my humble opinion that you shouldn't let this bog you down the way you have. I understand you must be feeling VERY tormented about all this and it's hard to place exactly why you did the things you did. Whether or not you were a willing partcipant you were taken advantage of. Technically.... yes you were molested.

Exposure to sex at such a young age can cause a phobia of it, and I'm glad that hasn't happened in your case. You seem to be fine mentally towards sex but you were traumatized by the event. I can't really say what it is exactly that's upsetting you...

Perhaps you view sex as dirty? If that's the case you need to come to terms with your sexuality and understand it's okay to be intimate with others.

If your family is religious you really should be wary of asking there support. Strongly religious families tend to alienate their deviant childern.

What you really truly need is someone to tell you "It's all right." and quite frankly it is. You've done nothing wrong, if you feel anger towards the other person then you need to talk to someone about that and vent. Keep venting, just go outside, drive far off into the country and just SCREAM! That tends to work for a lot of people. Just don't hate them. For all you know this indiviual is regretting this as much as you are.

Don't expect it to go away overnight (though it could) and work at it. Find one person to convide in... if you're catholic (As much as I hate to say it being a heretic and all) I suggest a priest. Even if you're not just tell them you really need to talk to them and you need their strength and help from god. They won't refuse you then and they won't/can't tell another soul what you've said. It's the most affordable "professional" help anyone can get.

That's the best I got... feel free to PM me, and good luck.

Something similar happened to me once but I was also molstered on another occasion. I put the first thing down to just being a kid and mucking around. Although it disgusts me sometimes I realise now that most kids do this as a part of growing up, even though they dont know the significance of what they are doing. If you need some extra help and its really distresing you see a professional it really helped me.