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Thread: My girlfriend has some problems

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2003

    My girlfriend has some problems

    My girlfriend has a really bad family life. i'll summarize it.

    Father: crazy (like crazy crazy), rambles on about how he is gonna die and how much my g/f is stupid/fat/etc. He also use to physically abuse her, and social services was called twice in her youth for it.

    Brother: 18 year old who drinks alot, and may be a meth head, and sometime hits her, leaving marks, as well as constant verbal abuse, and one time sexual abuse (he raped her when he was 10 y/o or so). He also has ALOT of porn on his computer.

    Sister: freshman, who has sex all the time, possibly for money (not sure yet, i hacked her AIM accnt. and saw something suspicious about it.) She also cuts herself and possiblely does hard drugs (not sure exactly what yet). Also the same verbal/physical abuse.

    Mom: does nothing. She denies all her kids problems, althogh she has seen Sisters scars, Brothers drinking, etc. She always fights with her husband and is constantly talking about divorce but never does it.

    This isn't even typical white-trash family. The mother has a PhD in pharmacy, and the father is an enginner for Raytheon.


    My GF: She's 16. She has major depression problems, and and talked about suicide in the past. She used to just break down crying for no reason. She also has constant, very bad back pain the her parents refuse to treat. I'm worried about her saftey almost constantly, and i'm considering buying pepperspray for her (hidden in a pen) as well as a small recording device (for proof if anything goes down).

    Me: I'm 19, in college, and bagging at Vons. hopefully i'll get promoted soon so i can move out (my major goal in life right now, besides her.) I'm not one to accuratly psycoanalyze myself, but i have a general apathy towards life, mostly other people, who can be so ignorant it makes me wanna break things/people.

    We have been going out for 2 years, but currently arn't allowed to see each other, do to a pot bust @ school. I still see her whenever i can though because i'm afraid she wave a total breakdown. i've seen her come close before. She's told me i'm the only thing shes living for right now, which is scary. Her mother has threatened me with calling the cops if i see her (for statutory rape), but our age difference is such that it is a misdermenor in California ($2000 fine or so). I don't really care. she has told me not to presue legal action, so i havent. i dont even think i can, because the physical abuse is not obvious, and the whole family will lie though their teeth, which may be why they arent in jail now (she has 2 scars on her throat from a belt buckle).

    So what should i do???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Wow im sorry for what both of u are goin through. U r a very strong person to stay with her and give her all thehelp she needs. But even though she says that she doesnt want u to get legal help, I really feel that u need to. She doesnt belong in an environment like that, and she should have been out of there a long time ago. But if that is completely not an option between the two of you, you need to be there for her in every way. Tell her how much u care for her, and that u will always be there when she needs you. It is scary that she says u are the only reason for her living now, and I kno u must be worried about screwing up. It seems as if she needs some counceling, and u may have to help her get that. Good Luck, and STAY STRONG. - Colleen!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2003

    do not give up!!

    i have actually been through the same hun i have been there and almost died from it here is my story: i graduated high school at 16 and had a shot a going to harvard, my father started drinking and began to beat us to the verge of death, my mother died from it, and i lived through the experence because god had a plan for me, now i help young adults going through child abuse and got my degree in medicine and am a pediatric nurse, you know the way i got out of it? i had a boyfriend at the time (similiar to your story) and he had been pursistant enough to give me a second chance at life, i believe you could give her a second chance at life if you help your girlfriend, and maybe you could save a life!

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