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Thread: Do women in relationships cheat if they're happy?

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    Do women in relationships cheat if they're happy?

    Although I have not cheated with my current g/f and I don't intend to, I know a lot of guys (and I've done it in the past) that cheat on their g/f's or wives' even when they're happy in their relationships.

    What about women? It could depend on the individual, but for the most part do women cheat if they are happy in their relationships or does it depend on their degree of happiness? What about the typical "good girl". Do they cheat too?

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    Member secret_agent_man's Avatar
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    As I've told the love of my life recently, a commitment is a choice. When you choose to commit you make a choice to devote yourself to someone forever. It is natural to have feelings for other people, but you have to follow that choice. Women and men both the same, can tend to go elsewhere if they are unhappy, but it does not honor the commitment that they chose to make. This is becoming increasingly more popular as the importance of marriage and commitment is cheapened by the ease of filing for divorce (I'm not accusing anyone, there are times that divorce is just the right thing to do).

    The main thing, especially in marriage, is to honor the vow "for better and for worse". If someone is unhappy, they need to remember that vow, and attempt to right the situation.

    As I said before, it is natural for humans to feel emotionally attracted to someone else, even when they are satisfied, but it is a choice to act on those emotions or not. Only the strong survive these situations...

    Does that help at all?

    S.A.M.

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    I agree with you SAM; people in unhappy relationships tend to stray more, but I'd like to focus more on happy relationships with this discussion. And like you said, now adays commitment is definitely cheapened.

    I definitely want to get women's perspective on this subject as well since the focus is more to how THEY feel about cheating.

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    Gold Member crookster_man's Avatar
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    I agree, I wish to add that it doesn't matter if you're a good girl or a good guy. It doesn't even have much to do with happiness. If one cheats it is because they are weak minded and weak willed.

    People have self-control; people have the ability to make sound rational decisions. If you are unhappy you have two options. One work on it, two leave. Cheating is never a valid option, it is never the last resort or excusable. Only weak willed people resort to this. I would rather leave the person I am with then dishonour myself by committing this cowardly and disgraceful act.

    That's just me. The world according to Crookster Man.

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    Okay, you asked for a women's point of view. So here's one..

    I think that if a woman did cheat while in a "happy" relationship then she would have to ask herself if she really IS happy in the relationship. I think that infedelity in most cases only occurs when one partner feels something lacking in the relationship or some need (usually emotional, not physical) is not being met. I don't think that most women cheat because they don't find their sex life with their partner interesting, it's usually that they don't feel loved, desired, or that they want more attention.

    Having said that, I have heard of cases where a woman would cheat on her partner at a time in the relationship when things were really good and the intimacy and the relationship as a whole was developing into something more. In these cases, the woman would cheat in order to sabotage the relationship. I know it sounds strange, but if she had been hurt before, some women will purposely try and ruin a good thing for fear that she will get hurt again if she gets too attached.

    Hope that gives you something to think about.[/i]

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    Hi all,

    The question of cheating is an interesting one because there always seems to be a double standard. When a man cheats it's because he is a pig engaging in self-indulgent behavior. However, when a women cheats its almost always because she is the innocent victim in the process. By this I mean that it always seems to be because of a negative aspect of her current relationship, something her bf did (he must have been a jerk), or just that she's engaging in a new process of self-discovery (trying to "find herself").

    If we set the double standards aside, we find both men and women tend to cheat because of something weak in their character. That's why we find that most cheating takes place during a tough time in a relationship, or also at a crossroads in their mates life...as an example we'll say graduating from college unsure of a job. The weak person looks for a way out but is too cowardly to break apart, so they need an excuse to do so, hence the cheating. A strong person, however, will either just part ways with their mate or try to improve their current relationship.

    That's my two cents,

    Bill

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    Member secret_agent_man's Avatar
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    Yea, sorry, I guess I focused on the wrong aspect a bit, but Crookster's elaborating on essentially what I was saying at the end of my post. Anyone CAN cheat, no matter how happy, there's just those of us who choose not to. So to me, it has to do a lot with self respect, and not letting yourself down. I made the decision not to, and I would be letting myself down more than anyone around me if I did.

    Better?

    S.A.M.

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    Women dont cheat when they are happy, if they are satisfied. When their partner is able to give them what they want. Especially their needed attention and love. Yes, we can get attracted to other guys but not that seriously, usually a crush on someone that might be over in a few seconds or minutes and we would not get into something that we know is not right and might ruin a relationship with the ones we love.

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    I don't think there is a definite answer for that, because everyone is different and I believe that some women (and men) would still cheat even if they were happy. After all some people like to have more than one person, so it could be a commitment problem, rather than being unhappy. However, I think happiness in a relationship would surely increase the chances of one appreciating their partner and staying faithful. So, yes being happy makes for a better chance that women (or men) would not cheat, but does not guarantee their fidelity. Although being unhappy isn't necessarily a valid excuse to cheat - leaving him or her is a better and more honest option.

    zoe

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    Why women cheat

    This is my first posting, in fact, this is the first time I have mentioned this since it has happened. So, if you guys really want to know why women cheat, listen up because I have first hand knowledge.

    They cheat because you stopped looking at them. They cheat because you never really committed to the relationship. They cheat because they have a void in their life that desperately needs filling. They cheat because we make them feel second best. They cheat because they live their lives on an emotional rhealm and we live ours on a physical one. Women need emotional fulfillment and we damn well better give it to them or they will look for it somewhere else. Women cheat because, no matter what we feel, they are not mind readers and unless you tell and show them how you feel about them, they wont see it. Don't imagine that all is ok just because things seem to be going smoothly. Ask her how she is feeling and ask her her wants and desires on a continual basis. Tell her how much she means to you and tell her that she is the only one. Let her know with words as well as actions. Buy her a rose for no reason other than to say " I love you and you mean the world to me." Just because you are not dating anymore doesn't mean that you can't send flowers for no reason.

    Botton line is this: If you love the girl you are with and you want your relationship to last, you BETTER find a way to tell her and show her everyday.

    I know it sounds like a lot of work, but dont you think it is worth it?

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