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Thread: Do women in relationships cheat if they're happy?

  1. #31
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    I havent read all the threads but yes, woman who are happy in a relationship do cheat.

    I posted something this morning because I have been having an affair with a married man even though I am married myself. Deep down, I know I have a good marriage, maybe a sexless one but I truly think my husband gives me the peace and support I need, the life I always wanted. Maybe there is a change we will never have kids -because we do not have sex- but when I met my lover, I only wanted to feel the passion lost with my husband. I felt alive and right now, when the affair is ending, my whole world is in pieces.

    I am hurt, really hurt. I have lost my lover and his indifference is so cruel that I can hardly function. I dont eat, cant sleep, I feel anxious and even tough I am glad I have my husband next to me, I feel really selfish. Our problems are still there and painful as they are, now I feel even worse than when I started the affair.

    Communication is the key.

    Women are unfaithful. Men are unfaithful.

    Nothing will ever change.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by missmags
    Deep down, I know I have a good marriage, maybe a sexless one but I truly think my husband gives me the peace and support I need, the life I always wanted.
    I know you're describing your marriage as good, but are you really happy being in a sexless marriage? Maybe you are - I'm just wondering.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by *N*
    I know you're describing your marriage as good, but are you really happy being in a sexless marriage? Maybe you are - I'm just wondering.

    Of course I am not happy with a sexless marriage. I do miss sex!!! Thats why I had my affair. I wanted to feel wanted and desired...

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by missmags
    Of course I am not happy with a sexless marriage. I do miss sex!!! Thats why I had my affair. I wanted to feel wanted and desired...
    Ok that's what I wanted to understand. Because there is this idea out there that men will cheat even in happy relationships, while women are less likely to do so.

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  6. #35
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    I don't think this could have been said better. Cheating happens at any time, regardless of happiness, contentness, etc and so forth. It all comes down to the million dollar question, if you had to opportunity to have one night with a hollywood superstar, would you do it even thogh you are in a fixed relaitonship? The majority of people say yes, REGARDLESS of their relationship status, their happiness, and everythign else that many people like to say leads to cheating. As I see it, all goes back to character, and there's something to be said about our collective character. In particular, this has to deal with avoiding and resisting temptation, something many of us will say is something we simpy can't do at times. A popular excuse, being 'Oh, I was drunk.'

    Yes, a happy person can cheat - and be happy cheating. these peopl eusually evolve towards na open relaitonship where there are no longer any monogamy issues to deal with.

  7. #36
    As a woman who has cheated while MOSTLY happy in a relationship, I feel very emotionally connected to this thread. I was cheating on my then boyfriend (now fiance) pretty consistently one summer. I wasn't 100% happy with the relationship. He is the sweetest guy that I have ever met in my life, but back then, I was constantly having to breathe down his back about helping me clean up around our newly rented apartment, or waking him up because his alarm clock didn't. It was things like that that got to me, because it made me feel like his mother. If a woman has to do everything for you, she will slowly become sexually unattracted to you. A few months after I started cheating I broke up with him, because I felt bad about cheating, couldn't handle being his mom anymore and just wanted to party. When I broke up with him, I didn't tell him I cheated, but did a few weeks later. He asked me why and honestly, when I looked back on the relationship, I felt like I was happy with him and had no excuse to be cheating. We have since gotten back together and I have spent everyday in an attempt to make up for what I did. It comes down to every single factor every person has put on here. The individual that cheats has no self control and is weak willed. It is in our nature to be attracted to others, but it's our own choice whether or not we decide to act on it. However, there has been someone on here trying to say that women shouldn't need to be wooed more than normal, which I find pretty silly. Women wear their emotions of their sleeves, and although we don't expect men to do the same, we expect that since we're their lover, we are different than everyone else, so maybe they would show their emotions a bit more around us. We DO need to hear "I love you" more than men do. I'm not saying that you have to wake up every morning and give a detailed list of why you love your women, but saying "I love you" for no reason or giving us a hug because you thought something we said was cute isn't asking for much.
    Ultimately, no, women don't cheat if they're 100% completely happy.

  8. #37
    If any woman tells you she's happy with her man completely and is cheating, she is in denial. Not just a woman, but a man, too. It may be that they haven't realized what it is yet that makes them unhappy, but take it from someone who has cheated and has a successful relationship post-infidelity, you do not cheat while 100% happy. And if anyone is reading this and considering cheating, just break up with the person. Once you get over having sex with someone else and you get over them, the guilt will eat at you for years. Although I was unfaithful over 3 years ago and my fiance has more than forgiven me, I haven't forgiven myself, and the memories will creep up and haunt me at the most random times. It's almost like having post-traumatic stress disorder or something (I'm not saying it's as severe, it's just a comparison.) If you genuinely regret your actions and you have memories of the infidelity, the memory can almost be crippling. There have been times I've considered breaking it off with my fiance because of the memories and the fact that I feel like I don't deserve him. It doesn't just mess with the person you cheat on. After some time, it will mess with you, too.

  9. #38

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    And what if the woman has completely unrealistic expectations of life and of the relationship? Expectations that no man on earth was able to meet. That woman will then cheat, and then be in a relationship, and then cheat again, and continue repeating the process until she gets some therapy and fixes herself.

    Point is - it's not always the significant others fault. You can do your best in a relationship, but you can't fix someone else who's broken and it's not your fault when they self-implode.

    This is all exactly true the other way around as well - that men can behave in the exact same way.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by netman
    Although I have not cheated with my current g/f and I don't intend to, I know a lot of guys (and I've done it in the past) that cheat on their g/f's or wives' even when they're happy in their relationships.

    What about women? It could depend on the individual, but for the most part do women cheat if they are happy in their relationships or does it depend on their degree of happiness? What about the typical "good girl". Do they cheat too?
    I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over a year and a half and I have never cheated on him and I'm not planning to either. I am happy in the relationship and have no reason to cheat. For the record, I have dated other guys in the past and have never cheated on them either. It has never, and will never cross my mind. When I am in a relationship, I am 100% committed, loyal, and faithful to them... that's just how I think it should be. Why would you cheat and disrespect someone you love?

    I have a question for you, or guys in general: if you say you are happy in your relationship, then why would you cheat in the first place??? And if you do, do you tell her and risk losing the relationship? I don't get it...

  11. #40
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    The truth is, a person who cheats is NEVER a happy person. They can be with the most attractive woman on the planet or a woman who is totally perfect and SEEM happy on the surface, but if they cheat, they're just not.

    Cheaters have self-esteem issues, simple as.

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