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Well I have written many posts and given advice to many people over the past few weeks. I found it very therapeutic to give advice while remaining distant, as in not writing about my situation. However, as time passes I find myself wondering just what people would say about my situation. It is no worse then most I have read, it is far better then others, but for me it is the most challenging relationship event I have experienced. So I will write what it was and see what you all say.

 

Well it all started last year, I met this girl who I shall call Sarah. She was 23 I was 21 at the time. We meet at a sorority, fraternity function (my first mistake ;o) Anyways we hit it off right away. She invited me out to her formal the next day. We were going under the pretext of friends. It was quite an enjoyable time and as fate had it, we started seeing each other. At first she was just another girl in my life. We had no intentions of anything more. I was graduating that year and I had plans to move to Europe, so I didn't want anything serious. Well suffice it to say, things don't always go as planed before I knew it we were falling in love with each other. It was sudden and intense, much like a thunderstorm. It was a very good time in my life; I haven't felt love since my high school sweetheart. My university career was spent moving from girl to girl, good time to good time. I had hoped to find something substantial before I left school and I thought I had.

 

My problem started when one of my fraternity brothers and friend (so I thought) started to secretly profess his love for her behind my back. She came to me right away and told me. My first response was to sit this kid down and put him in his place. (I was the fraternity president and he was a new brother). She told me that she wanted to maintain the friendship she had with him and wanted to take care of it her self. Well I had to trust her, she gave me no reason not to. Anyways skipping ahead to save time…

 

So I believed the situation was taken care of, well whenever everyone would hang out together (at a function or at the bars) she would gravitate towards him. To the point where she would spend most of her time when were out with him. This of course naturally concerned and annoyed me. Now don't get me wrong when we were together she was great. But I was angered that she would ignore me when he would come around. So I started getting into arguments with her. Well I'm sure you all know where is this going…

 

To save space, my worst fear came true; she cheated on me and devastated me. The concept that someone would cheat on me? Wow, I'm usually a good judge of character but not that time. Now I wish I could say that was the end of the story, however it was not. For some reason (love blind?) I told her we could try to work this out. She was very upset about what happened and appeared remorseful. So we tried to work things out. I demanded that she sever all ties with the guy, she agreed. But it turned out that she didn't, they stop their affair but they still remained close friends. This was unacceptable to me. So over the course of a month the bitterness and anger between us grew to the point when I finally told her it was over. However she managed to suck me back in one last time. I'm not going to go into the details it's embarrassing, but suffice it to say I was a trusting fool once again.

 

Finally the truth behind the situation came out, she was still dating him and me at the same time. Eventually the guy and me sat down and compared stories, it turns out we were both getting played hardcore by this girl. So we both went to confront her one night. Man that was great, when we both knocked on her door. When she opened it, her jaw dropped, she knew she was busted. She broke down into tears and confessed everything. That was the end of us. I gathered my stuff and walk out of her life that night.

 

Once again I wish that was the end of the story, however it was not. It turns out that the other guy my "brother" and "friend" had another plan. He used this opportunity to get rid of me and finally move in on her. Of course she accepted, and now they're off together somewhere. Well my bitterness grew; the fact that I was played by both people who I trusted upset me greatly. This was further compounded when my other friends allowed the other guy to still come by my house and hang out with him. Well I made his life a living hell, and to this day still do. I have severed all contact with her, I don't deal with whores. Even though I would never take her back and defiantly don't want to "work things out" I still feel bitter and jaded. It's been 2 months now and I'm feeling better about things. But my anger towards the fact that his cheating backstabbing ways got him the girl in the end is still quite prevalent. I don't know what to say. I've been active, I quit smoking, I work out regularly now, I meditate and I have control back in my life. But this underlying bitterness is always there. The second I wake up in the morning to the moment I hit the sack at night, I'm acutely aware of the betrayal I've undergone. I don't expect you to have answers, but I felt that I should at least get this off my chest. My friends are pretty sick of the story by now, and I'm sure so are you ;o) I'm sure you can tell I'm rather long winded… and trust me this is the edited version.

 

I loved, I lost and I was stabbed in the back by 2 people. Well lesson learned, I guess? What lesson that was I'm not too sure, but that's life I guess. Anyways thanks for reading and letting me vent.

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Ouch, to not only be played by a woman, but by someone who you thought of as a friend. I'm not too saavy on Fraternities and Sororities as my college didn't have them, but I always got the feeling that your fraternity brothers came before anyone. Apparently in this case, that did not happen. What I don't understand is why your "friends" continue to let this jerk come over and hang out at your place? And if they are so tired of hearing your story, then they need to stop letting him come over. Wow, I'm not even a brain surgeon and I could figure that one out! Sorry, had to be sarcastic.

Anyways, continue with your plans, go to Europe and forget both of them. What these two don't realize is that since both of them have played people before, they are bound to play each other and both get hurt in the end, so they'll get theirs, no worries about that.

As far as the bitterness goes, it's only been two months and I can understand you still feeling bitter and angry at what happened to you. Time is something everyone says will help. Revenge can sometimes too but I don't suggest that. Try to be the bigger person and just move on. They aren't worth this constant thought. It will be easier on you when you're not constantly seeing the guy anymore, so when/if you go to Europe, the bitterness should ease. Good luck! And kudos to you for not kicking that guys ass.

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well, I know you've been badly hurt because you've loved the girl too much. It sounds to me that somebody here is not over yet. Look, maybe you've not yet fully admitted to yourself that you've been treated like that because your ego was hurt and everything happened was very embarrassing for you...but you gotta let it go, think that its not your loss, its theirs..you believe in karma? you shouln't waste your love and your time for a girl like that. She's selfish and immature. No Regrets, that's the best thing! And believe that someone better out there is instore for you... Goodluck and enjoy life! hope this helped a little!

 

Peace out! 8)

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Oh I agree. My love was wasted on her. My friendship wasted on him. It's rather funny actually how retarded the situation became. I was so wrapped up in it that it totally consumed me. As for Karma, I defiantly agree with you. They cheated, lied and betrayed. That kind of action will only be returned upon them.

 

I know that my bitter feelings solve nothing. It only hurts me when I get pissed at them. One thing I've learned is never love the girl more then she loves you. I have no regrets only lessons learned. I know that I would never take her back. She's proven herself unworthy.

 

One day I'll look back on all of this and just laugh. Even now I kind of crack a smile. My ego was pretty bruised, not because I was embarrassed. But because I was so fooled. I'm usually such a good judge of character. I think it was the fact that it was the last year of university and I really wanted to find a "good girl" to take with me. I wanted this so badly that I was willing to sacrifice too much. I almost lost myself, wow, what kind of person would do that to another?

 

Anyways, I wish them both the best of luck. Haha, there really going to need it. I'm sure they still have a few more 'lessons' to learn. It will be funny hearing about them in the coming months.

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You said you moved from girl to girl previously? Is it possible that you may have hurt another as she hurt you? (I am assuming not as mean and vindictive- but you may have still broke some hearts and this feels the same).

 

Maybe this experience will serve to change your behavior towards future relationships now that you have been hurt? Maybe this is a learning experience that may allow you to understand and have more empathy towards others since you have experienced this hurt yourself now.

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