can i trust her/should I leave

So this is my second posting about my girl. Heres the facts: About 3 weeks ago I was visiting my GF in Seattle where she is working for the summer. While there I saw her emailin a male coworker saying "good night sexy" I asked her about it and she said nothing. When I looked through her computer while she was away and found out she has been telling her friend how she has "the hots for him" and that she wants to "hook up" with him. She was even emailing him directly and telling him how she wanted to kiss him " a supposed bet at a paty made by someone else" and wanted him to see her new sheets which she claimed she bought for me. I confronted her we broke up twice and got back together before i came home. I said id give her space. In the weeks following she has started partying with this guy all the time. She claims he needed a place to stay for the summer but she turned him down for me. (for all i know they are living together) She then started to stop calling and i got drunk and her friend got on the phone acting like him so i cussed her friend out and I figured it was over, but then I wrote her an email telling her why I was so mad and jealous even though she claims she would not do anything with him and she is entitled to find someone else attractive because she wouldnt act on her feelings. Now since the email she has been much nicer to me calling me sweetie and saying I love u again. What should I do she will be with me for only the weekend and then a month longer in Seattle. I know I should dump her but i love her so much. Can I trust her or should i even try to? I have no pure evidence that she has hooked up with this guy however the fact that she spends alot more time with him plus the fact he now lives four doors down from her is naking me paranoid. Any suggestions would really help, this is my first big relationship and i dont know what to do. I want her as my girl but not if she is cheating. Thanx

What so important is never to look into her privacy because it is not what it maybe like you think it could be but it could be something that she is going through in her ways which you must respect. I am curious to know how old she is because that can make a difference in what I may have to say. If she is young then give her the room to explore and hope that she comes to you when the time is right and even if that doesn't work there really isn't a thing you do when it comes to feeling that animalistic way of feeling because it is natural feeling to feel sensual or sexual. Please don't pressure her but be open even if it hurts and if you really love her then give her the space but at that same time explore your own possibilities that can enhance your growth. Be inventive in your own pace and ways to understand but never try to change a person but only hope to find that person come to you in her or his ways because it will be worth waiting for if you know how long to wait and how long you are willing to wait. That is up to you and when that decision is made then you will know and will understand what must be the right thing to do. Distance relationship are very hard to have but not impossible because I have a girl friend who lives in London and at times I can feel her when she wants to feel wanted when I am not there but must keep a open mind and must understand that she is different then I am in many ways. She is beautiful and very attractive and makes a lot of money. I live in New York and she will always say one thing about me and that is I am open but that I am to proud because I am a man who must stand by his own feet and not except to gain or get anything from anyone but to give, which is in my nature. She claims I am to old fashion and she maybe right but I can't help who I am but I can learn to become or to learn different ways but in a gradual way with hope and with the idea that I may never change in that way.

Wow, thats a rough situation. I can understand your feelings as far as loving her even though she put you through all that. However, what you gotta remember is exactly what she DID put you through. It seems pretty clear to me that she's not exactly the faithful type when it comes to this other guy. Just ask yourself one thing, which would be more painful. Staying with this girl and risking yet another heartbreak through betrayal or moving on and going forward with life. I know its very painful to break up with this girl but just think of the emotions your going to be putting yourself through. If this girl is really unfaithful, your going to go through a lot of suspicion (Which you obviously already are) and just going through that suspicion is already a CONSTANT pain as long as you are with her. Compare that to maybe breaking up with this girl and suffering just a period of heartbreak. True, the heartbreak may last for a long while, but I think it'll be a lot less painful in the long run then staying with this girl longer. Plus, once you get over the heartbreak, you'll see the world in a whole new light. One last thing, even though this is your first REAL relationship, remember that it doesn't mean it'll be your last. I'm sure your young enough just like I am and that there will be years of meeting new people. You never know, you'd probably even meet a girl who will make you love her even more then this current one. Minus all the huge pain. Well I hope this helps you out buddy. Good Luck with whatever decision you make.

Cloud 9 a similar thing made me discover his site.

I found my exGF (of 4 and a half years) writing emails to her boss in the US office. Descriptive of what she wanted to do to him and where they were going to do it.

I followed the email conversations for 4 days, took the info I got and asked quesitons to her face that I knew the answers to. Like " is there someone else"?, "did you meet someone else whist you were away"? etc.... I watched and listened to her lie to me for 4 days, right in my face...

My situation now is I moved out. We split up which was her decision as I going to forgive her to give us another chance, and now she is leaving to move to the US office to I assume be with him.

We still talk 2 or 3 times a week, SMS and email occasionally, I've moved on and I'm getting better, fitter and seeing girls again in the hope of trying to find this kind of love again. If I'm honest, I still love her and would give everything for another chance to be together with her again(fool that I am). The fact is that 2 people need to want that for that to happen.

Whilst I not waiting around for her anymore i know that I'm not going to be ready for any kind of long tem relationship for the next year or 2, so now I've straightened up and have decided I'm going to enjoy my single life. Don't get me wrong I still have bad days missing her and thinking about her... but they are getting fewer and farther between..

I guess what I'm saying is .. if you are THAT out of sight then maybe you are THAT out of mind and maybe it is best to let her be and for you to get on with your life too.

Maybe if this fate thing is on our sides, when shes back and grown up a bit, if your still around and single.... me too.. maybe we'll get back together. But don't cóunt on it.. I know that I don't really want my girl back if she's going to do that to me again.... and I wouldn't expect you would too.

It's that let 'em free saying, if they come back they are yours forever.. just don't dwell on it forever..

Good luck man..

optimistic.

When i was going through a break-up the thing i hated people to tell me is to move on. What would they know? they aren't in love right? But I hate to admit it, but they were right after all. Moving on is only difficult in the beginning, then it becomes easier and easier...Im not saying to breakup with her by the way.

Well, i had a relationship I just finished breaking off because I absolutely could not trust him, tooo much suspicion that was tearing me apart. For some reason. When people suspect others, they are usually right...its like a sixth sense or something. Trust is the most important thing but if u got evidence of something going on (which u do) then u gotta keep your eyes open because remember that your girl is also human and capable of lying and cheating...

Well, I just wanted to tell you this, which I told myself while i was thinking of ending it with my ex or not....

If they are going to wh0re around, they are going to do it either way...with you or without you. The only difference is that if you are with them, you are just going to deny the truth and try to make urself believe otherwise, which will tear u apart. If you break up with them, you are going to have to accept the truth which is obviously more painful, but sooner or later, the pain goes away.

Well this helped me finally end it with my ex. bc i knew in my heart he just couldn't stay faithful...so i told myself if i wanted to go thru with it knowing the truth and knowing what was going on behind my bak and if i was willing to live with lies...

well i hope i help you somewhat. send me a pm if this ends up helping u.

GOod Luck

Cristy

thanks for all the advice guys i still dont know what i want to do so im just gonna feel things out.