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Thread: My brother is an abuser....

  1. #1
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    My brother is an abuser....

    Hi. I recently cut ties with my Mom after a lifetime of abuse. She abused me physically and my brother mentally. My brother does not speak to her now either. The problem is, he is becoming her.

    His girlfriend came over the other day to talk to me. My brother broke her nose (supposedly an accident with his elbow). He spits on her, calls her names, forces her to have sex (angry sex), punches holes in walls...you name it.

    I suspect that he's also an alcoholic. He has admitted to me that he gets out of control when he drinks.

    What do I do to help him? I've talked to my Dad about forcing him into rehab, which we might have to do regardless, but how do we force him to get help with his abusing behavior? And what do I tell the girl who LETS him abuse her? When he hurts her, she says she doesn't stand up for herself at all...just tries to make it all go away.

    Please help. My brother is so young. I don't want him to spend his life this way. He's going to end up really hurting someone someday.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member segagirl's Avatar
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    Sounds like an intervention is needed. Sit down with your dad and the two of you need to take action now. See if he will go into rehab on his own, usually this will be a place he can get anger management counseling as well. He will need on going counseling to work through his issues, and consistent encouragement to seek help in doing so. If he has to be forced so be it, and if the girl wont do anything, next time you hear about it call the police on him yourself...a night in jail may wake him up a tad even if she wont press charges.

  3. #3
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    Great advice...thank you. I've already left my Dad a voice mail since reading your post. He's an alcoholic too, although not abusive, so his volunteering to go to AA with my brother might do the trick. If not, we'll do what you said....

    Thanks again!

  4. #4
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    this may help

    hi, you could try sitting him down with his father also and give him ideas of what he has become in your eyes, such as your mother and then reveiw all the bad memorys and things that could happen to him someday and just try to become his friend with out him trying to take advatage of you.
    i hope my words help.
    hope the situation becomes better.
    thank you
    manda

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