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"I NEED SPACE..." SHE SAID


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My girlfriend owns a bar in a suburb south of the Philippine capital of Manila. Since she owns and manages it, she's there every night, Monday to Sunday. She opened the bar last November, and we started going out the following month.

The first few months were okay, we even rented a room which we call our Love Nest. At first, I understood that meeting people is part of her job.

I don't usually go to the bar because I don't want her to be uncomfortable. But one night in March, I decided to go there since it was Friday and I had nothing to do. That's when I first started to get jealous, because I saw that she was hopping from one table to another entertaining different men.

We fought that night, but made up the following day.

The next few weeks were testy for both of us, especially for me because I find out that some of her guests are already trying to "court" her, "desire" her, and ask her out. I confronted her about this and she assured me that those guests mean nothing to her, it's just business.

So I let it pass. One night in April, I was just there hanging out with her in the bar when I found out that she sang a duet with another male guest the previous night. Of course that pissed me off. Again, she assured me that it was nothing. That same night, we were so close and sweet to each other when all of a sudden another male guest -- who has already told her he likes her -- comes in. Immediately, she moves away from me as if she doesn't know me. What's worse is, she sings a song for him.

To make it short, we fought for the second time. And we made up also shortly after.

Now, last week of June, we had our third fight. This time, it involved another guest. That's three different guests and three different fights!

I was supposed to go to the bar early afternoon since that's the time there are no guests and we can talk freely and act like a couple. But lo and behold! There was already a male guest at 5pm! I was furious, and we fought again.

I reasoned out that since he is a regular guest, he knows very well that the bar opens at 6pm.

Anyway, we fought again and this time she said she has had enough. She said that if I can't understand the nature of her job, we should end the whole thing.

Now, I love her so much I don't want to lose her. As the song goes, "we had the right love at the wrong time".

But I gave in to what she wanted, and we are now in the cooling off stage. I am really heartbroken because I found out that her dad bought another bar and now she has to manage two bars. I spoke to her last night and told me she's so busy she doesn't even have time to herself.

I am still hoping for a reconciliation.

Was I wrong to get jealous and insecure? What if the tables were turned and I was the one meeting ladies every night?

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I kno it's hard 2 not b jealous, coz i can kinda relate to what u're saying except my gf's a waitress and she doesn't need 2 do the things ur girl does.

 

U just gotta trust her, and if she lies, then u'll have some serious problems but don't think that far yet. Enjoy what u hav now "cherish each day as it comes..." don't worry about the future yet, make the most of what u hav now. I think u gotta cut her some slack, this is ur gf we're talkin about her, obviously when u started dating her, u should've been aware of what might happen. If she really loves u, then she's right, it's only business and it's wrong 2 hang around wif u when she's @ her job coz she's gettin paid 2 entertain other guests, sure u're a guest but her dad might see it differently and so on.

 

Don't feel so insecure, just think about it this way... there's lotsa ppl out there and if it doesn't work out between u's, it'll take time but there's gonna b someone else out there that u'll grow 2 luv as much as this one. It's not ur fault u're so insecure and jealous, some ppl are just like that. Are u a Cancer by any chance?lol?

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Well if you love her and trust her, I dont think these fights were worth losing her over. Its her job, plain and simple. Its how she makes living...If interaction with these men did not flow over at home, then yes I am thinking you let your own fears run her off. Time to check yourself, and see if you can make amends.

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