New to this but need advice

Not really sure where to start this is the first time i have been on this web site or any like it.

I have been seeing my girlfriend for 4 and a half months now, she is 10 yrs older than me and has children who i might add i get on really well with. The problem is that she doesn't want the relationship out in the open she says this is for the kids sake but at times i think maybe this is just an excuse. We have told 2 people one is her first husband who has no problem with it ( the kids are his) although she has just split from her second one who doesn't appear to have any clue about our relationship and the 2nd person is my ex boyfriend who has been really great about it.

The thing is i want to tell everyone how much i love her and have done long before we started seeing each other but i just wondered what other peoples views were on the subject of the kids knowing so far we keep it away from them which is frustrating when half the time all i want to do is kiss her and i cant caus the kids are there, was wondering what experience people have had with children knowing about same sex relationships

thanks.

I think you have an idea of why this is a tough topic. Not only does she have to be respectful of bringing new people into the kids lives (never fun when people come and go).....but she has to be concerned with how the thought of their mom dating another woman would be to them. In reality at this point, they are her kids and she has the right to do what she thinks is right for their well-being. You don't really have a say.

However, It looks to me like she is the one that is having issues with admitting she is in love with another woman. It's not just the kids she is hiding from. So, what needs to happen is she needs an open and safe forum (where you wont be judgmental) for her to express what she is afraid of. And lastly, be sure to find a ways to connect with other lesbians couples, events and outlets that allow a safe place for her to learn how to show her love for you around others.

If you need anything, feel free to mail me!

Well when i say she doesn't want to tell people maybe that is not totally true someone that i work with knows caus my girlfriend told them as they used to be good mates and she had worked out something was going on. My girlfriend also is fine about showing affection when we are out even if we might bump into some one we know, she is also fine where i live but then when we are by her house we more or less are miles apart. In reply to the kids and them losing someone else in there lives i have known the kids for a long time and even before started seeing my gf i was round there most nights. Think that part the reason why kids not worked anything out yet but i think they will in time and not sure if it better we tell them before they find out some other way.

Thanks for the replies.

Hi there, well then the only part left is telling the kids. And yes, it is important that information comes from the two of you, and not someone at school etc. Also, if the two show you are proud and excited than what is there to fear? A bad reaction to hearing someone is gay comes from ignorance which stems from lack of discussion and people not just being open....you dont usally see this in kids. Kids are more open to learning. so tell them, and tell them with excitement.