Where Love has gone story

Another question from a dangerous mind this time I am not lost about what is love but where it is gone. It was there it does exist and it did exist in our real lives it was here last year in every inch of my being it still does but some how we lost the warmth and some how I lost the sense of it.

I ask to myself if I still love her or as they put am I still in love with her ? I dont know the answer now, maybe after sometime many months later I will know ; or as the people say depends who writes the history or the facts.

IT started like a flame as it always does , she was every thing to me when she was around she was the World and I always forgot about everything but her, but that is the truth isn't it that when u r madly in love u forget about everything and u just remember the feeling the sense of being with her in her warmth . Or may be its just the feeling of being in love with love and the faith we have and the trust we evolved the blind trust and then on one beautiful haunting day everything ends , cracks because of something unknown to u before or even un-thoughtful before.

Isn't it the fact that love is a blinding phenomenon when u love someone u dont see any negatives because everything is so surreal in its own sense and u dont think anything bad may be happening in near future because your present is your future and it is longevity and the eternity of the sense and of the feeling but then may be I am agreeing with the fact that us human beings fall in love again and again as we grown to un-love people and fade the feeling of being in love.

Well then it was over how it ended I dont know the love has gone some how we both tried our best to hang on to it; we tried to be friends, to see if we can grow the feeling again .The sparks the emotions and can do without the hurt but u know when once u loose trust u loose faith then there is nothing else but just fading away period thats why people say that when u end something u should have a closure like a proper burial to someone so that the spirit wont haunt you and in ur memories they live but u let go of them slowly and slowly. Here well here my friend lies the problem the dilemma of being me as I havnt let go of some one who left me who died many many years ago and she left me with out my unborn child and I havnt parted with her memories then how come I be so easy to forget about this one the new love I had just few days ago and she was so real so close and everything was so perfect and not from the day one .

Differences that make one relation ship grow also kill the romance in us the love in us day by day nite by nite and distances grow when u r close but not there any more in ur hearts .Sharing is a word that cant be used if u have to share ur heart with someone else or something else in this life or any others.

TIME heals they say well I will try and see if this time it does work it hast for last quite a few years . May be we are better off with the thing called love maybe emotions are the inflictions in this life maybe we can just survive without it and just go by the casual feelings attraction we have for many of each others and we can exist as the social animals we are being. Cliché'' so many in us that we start to live the others lives and we forget what we are and what we are all about individually.

Remember Nancy ? I remember her ...She was totally and unconditionally in love with him and he knew that he had the power over her he use to beat her so bad every time hurt her and after every 3 , 4 months use to kick her out of the home and where else she would end up except my home I was the only friend she had as all others had gave up on her .As after all this mess he use to go out with other girls even Nancy friends and when he called to apologize she would go back to him. I tried in vein many times that she is doing wrong but she always went back until one day he went too far and she never came back to me as she was dead. I always ask my self if I could have done anything more for her ? where was her love where love was gone for her ? No one will ever know . He will come out of prison in few years and will start a new life what about Nancy ? what about love ? .

Love ! what is it and where is it if it is gone . Where can I find it now its so unreal. Should we be cruel to end all of it to go back as friends could we be friends ? after what we had before ? of course then at the same time i ask myself what we had ? some sittings some close moments and dreams and in my dreams they were so real they are still real because I saw her in them ...was she having me in her dreams in her future plans was that the reason that love is gone ? or something else or is it just the fact that World is not a fairy tale and nothing ends like fairy tales in this World.

In my world when I am in love everything is in love and everything is so happy so beautiful .My cat feels it when I am in love or pain or sadness creeps on me she always tried to comfort me when I feel sad or melancholic in my own terms why my happiness has to be so lonely has to be so sad. When we are happy isnt it the most beautiful thing in the world and isnt we suppose to smile laugh levitate in emotions yet my happiness was sad my loneliness is happy .My love was hurtful painful and my friendship is happy. Cliché' more cliché in our World. But then when I come out of my fairy tale world this world tried to portray itself as nice and beautiful understanding every inch of my thoughts and i try to mingle in it only to get hurt again and again and again. Until finally I give up and go back to the place I belong the fairy tales because there everything is imaginary but they live happily ever after they have no sadness in their World. Flowers never go away they have the scents and!

smells of heaven and innocence .

My violin instructor looked at me with funny eyes when I told her I cant continue ...how could I tell her that my inspiration is gone .She was my inspiration she had all the happiness I had and somehow she took that with her. And all I am left with is insomnia our favorite word as it gives us immortality over dreams what good dreams are if they are not real .If I have to dream I can go back to my fairy tale world and can dream there.

Don't tell me you never dream about the island that is always in my dreams in a blue ocean with so many palm trees with so much silence that u can hear the birds sing and the ocean waves singing and dancing on the shore. Where you and your love are alone to built a World of their own. Where there is nothing but you and the word US. How much that word means when you are there in that dream away from all realities all sad happiness things but just calm and passionate beings.

If you havnt dream that island yet you should hurry do it soon before you wonder where love has gone because then it will be too impossible to think and not dream.

Thank you for sharing this one ...