Alone, confused and hurt

My girlfriend and I had been together for a year and half. The first year -- aside from the usual silly tiffs -- was perfect and magical, something we both remarked on many times. However, both out of college just a year and trying to build our careers, I started contemplating and requesting we talk about how best to manage our careers while also taking the relationship where had agreed we both wanted it to go in a few years: marriage. While I became worried about possibly having to pursue jobs far apart from each other and wanted to map out some kind of plan, she preferred to " just cross that bridge when we get there." I was only trying to look out for our careers, and the relationship as well. My thinking and worrying about the subject -- and trying to talk about it all the time --created some tension and we weren't as happy, which caused her to pull away and into herself at the advice of her mother, who told her she had to "make herself happy." She started going out a lot with friends (majority are guy pals), spending less time with me, along with several other changes that developed -- I got suspicious of what was really going on in this new part of her life. I questioned her about her quick change and if there was someone else. She questioned my trust. One night two weeks ago she was out really late, which is totally unlike the woman I knew. I flipped on her machine and also checked her e-mail once during this 3-month period of change. Found a guy interested that she wasn't exactly telling to cease his comments. She said I invading her privacy, which I admit was wrong, but done to find out things she wasn't telling me. Despite still loving me, she broke it off after that last incident described above, because I was invading her privacy and "acting paranoid." Was I wrong to get suspicious, or can anyone see how the change would cause that?

Did I screw up too bad, or after she has some space, is there any chance I can get her back? (Sorry this is so long.) Ladies, a guy who still loves and misses his girl would appreciate your advice.[/b]

When my husband and I were dating he used to read my email. He even did it after we were married, although I think he has stopped now.

I hated it. I finally told him that if he couldn't trust me then we couldn't be together. He knew that there were some other guys that I talked to. I never lied to him. They were just friends. He told me how uncomfortable it made him so we talked about it.

I ended up breaking off a few friendships because he meant a lot more to me than they did. But I also told him that I will continue talking to some of my friends and he has to deal with it.

He still talks to other women, and his best friend is a woman whom he used to date. I trust him. He has learned to trust me. We don't keep secrets.

If you can tell her that you are genuinely sorry and that it won't happen again, you may have a chance. You have to trust her though. And she has to learn to trust you again. If you really want to be with her, be persistent and earn her trust.

If she is just using this as an excuse to move on and she is interested in seeing other people then you should let her go. You can't make her stay in the relationship if she doesn't want to be there.

You should talk to her and find out what she wants and accept what she tells you.

Good luck.