Step Parenting

Can anybody offer me advice on step parenting?

My husband's daughter from a previous relationship lives with us one week, her mom the next 5 days and her maternal grandparents for the weekend, then starts all over with us. She is 5 years old and has 3 homes with 3 sets of rules. She has no sibblings other than my 2 boys so she is not used to having other kids around. She likes to be the centre of attention and I think my boys are jealous of her. They fight a lot (which I know is normal for sibblings) but it drives me crazy.

The weeks that she is not here the house is much more calm and organized but as soon as she gets here it goes crazy. I have a hard time trying to get her to follow the rules of our house but she is learning. She is such a great kid and I love her so much but I can't have her running the house when she is here. It sets a bad example for the boys and it makes my life chaotic. The strange thing is that when her Dad isn't here, she is usually pretty good, but when he is around she turns into a helpless baby needing him to do everything for her. I know she misses him and needs him but I don't think he should always give in to her.

We have different ideas on parenting and discipline which doesn't help matters any, either. We just need some order in this house! Is there some way that I can get through to her that what may be acceptable at her mom's and grandma's may not be acceptable here? Also, I need her to know that she doesn't need to start acting like a helpless baby as soon as her daddy is around. Any advice?

Thanks!

Hi momof3,

Interesting topic you started here. Thank you for sharing it. My mom is running a daycare and funny or not, she is having a child that acts pretty much the same as your daughter.

My mom is very clear about rules in the daycare centre. She pretty much says: "You're in my house now and you follow my rules" and "what your parents say or approve, might not be approved by me." She is very strict about the rules she set and she is doing a great job with ALL the kids she watches.

I believe that being strict is the keyword here. She needs to learn to abide to the rules in your house. If she screams or doesn't agree, discipline her by giving her a time out in the hallway where she can scream all she wants. Follow through ... no matter how hard it is. Try to be clear in your communication and your warnings, as in: "If you do this, you will face ... "

I hope that this helped you... *grins* ... I wish you could talk to my mom. She's really great with these kids... good luck

~ SwingFox ~