Hope.....Should I?

Its only been three days since my first post here, see "Five Years down the drain" and I think I've got my plan, I just need to implement it. I could use some women's advice, but any will help. To sum up, my girl of 5 plus some years decided she needed to be single and experience something other than our relationship. She actually told me it was cause she didnt have feelings for me anymore, even though I just moved in and asked her if she was sure whe wanted to be with me the rest of her life (she said yes). But her friends say its because she feels like our relationship is all shes ever known. Now to my plan:

I think I'll let her go and do her thing and wait for her to come back. Maybe contact her once a week (too much?) and let her know I still care. Ultimately I know she wont come back unless she wants, but the hardest part is thinking that she wont. Anyone think this is a phase that I should just wait to pass? Or should I just move on and forget as much as I can about her?

Hello Alpha Omega,

Thank you so much for your update towards us. It pleases me to read that you're not just sitting feeling down, but that you're actually taking action and take things into your own hands. I understand that you have a plan to go by, which is great!

I would advice you to do what you feel comfortable with. A way through your middle is to set a time frame for yourself, such as: "If she is not back in three months (or half a year), I am moving on and will let her go." The truth is that at this point in time you don't know what's going to happen. I live by a rule that says: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy."

My advice is, try to do as you please. I think that contacting her once a week is pretty good and will work. If she can't take that, then I am not sure how committed she still is.

I hope that this works for you and wish you good luck. Make it happen!

~ SwingFox ~

Heya mate. Sounds like you're going in the right direction... although I would wait longer than once a week. Maybe once every two and then gradually adding to that. And yeah, like Mr. Fox said, set yourself a timeframe.

Also, to make it easier for yourself... think about what you learnt in the time you were with her and how it has made you a better person. We both know you wouldn't trade the good times you had just to be rid of the pain. It was a good experience and now you've had a taste of true love, you won't be able to get enough!

Imagine how it will feel to fall in love again? Bet you can't wait Who could?

Also, don't try jumping straight into another relationship. You need some time of reflection, time to discover yourself again... after a few months you'll feel better than ever Good luck!

hey did n e thing trigger this break up or did she just decide to leave? there has to be more to it! i feel for ya babe ! i think you should just try and move on if she doesnt want ya then im sure there plenty of girls that do ! just ask her straight out what she wants and if there is a future between the two of you? then hopefully youll get as staight answer! good luck luv nat x hope this is some sort of help lol

Thanks Swing...was hoping you'd hit my thread I feel most comfortable with not knowing what shes doing I think. Like last night for example, she just had to tell me she was going to a club with some guys from work (like I needed to know that). I was furious at first, then i took a deep breath and just let it go. It makes me feel.....i dont know the feeling.......but how can she go out with a bunch of guys to a club two days after she ended it? Of course who am I to say what she can and can't do, but I guess I just dont want to hear anything like that, I'd rather not know. Thanks a ton Swing, you're like a big bro to me just from reading your posts!

ToBig....I cant help but think about the good times....sometimes I wish she thought about them as much as i do (does she you think?) Aye, true love is a very very good feeling, but how many times can you have it without it being ruined by a broken heart? Granted this is my first heartbreak, but 5 years seems like a lot of investment to start all over again if theres a chance of the same ending as this one, ya know? As for jumping into another relationship, no way. I am by no means anywhere close to being ready for someone else, much less a relationship more than friends with someone right now.

Ad finally Mrsmalakia......Everyone on this planet that knows this girl was completely surprised by this break-up. Her best friends had no idea, I even had to break the news to a couple of them. Read my previous post under "Five Years Down the Drain" if you want the complete story, its an interesting one. I do think there are plenty of girls out there I could meet, problem is my confidence is shot to hell now (anyone know any good posts that can help that?) And every time I ask her striaght out about anything pretty much, all she says is "i dont know" Shes so indecisive.......