In dire need of advice...

Hi Phil,

There's a few issues really need to deal with here. The most important one being the lack of communication. She needs to understand that your desire to deal with problems is the only way to keep a relationship going. If someone cannot be bothered to try to patch things up, you've got a serious problem right there.

Relationship are a two way street, everyone know that. Relationships can get very frustrating if it seems like you're the only one working on it. It requires 200% and if you're putting in 150 you'll get worn out pretty fast.

If she continues to refuse to deal with issues that concern you, you need to consider calling it off.

I think the other issue you need to deal with is what's bothering her. Something must be bothering her that she just wants to "blow over" and that's probably why things changed. You need to figure out what that is in order to save this relationship.

Finally I'm glad you're not jealous but you seem to be envious of everyone who gets to spend time with her. You need to deal with this and not worry about it. Push it far from your mind as it can only hurt you.

Hope this helps.

Well, when she was about 15, she was raped by a so-called friend. Before that, her father was killed when she was 12, and for three weeks, didn't talk to anyone. I assume this is how she adopted the behavior of not talking, and letting time pass.

OMG. That's horrible. I'm very sorry to hear that. No one deserves to go through that, especially at such a young age.

It still doesn't change things though... you need to address problems, you have to work things out. These aren't one time occurrences, that's why the require attention. You can't just let things get worse and worse.

I hope you can see how these aren't the same type of problem at all.

theres some bad news on the horizon man...unless you get her to wake up. I've seen this kinda thing before. shy, reclusive person meets people on chat, realizes he/she can do the same thing in real life, and suddenly chatting isn't as big of a deal anymore. I suggest you find out real quick where this is going...or she might loose interest in you, as she's done with chatting...good luck.