Happy Contactless

For the past 2 days I have made sure that I didn't talk to my ex. For some reason I feel like crap when I do. I dont know why that is because I dont miss him. I hate him to tell me he is good and things are great. Why does that even bother me? I think I should just keep as little contact as possible, because he doesnt seem to care anyway. Just every now and then I think I will just unblock the kid and talk, but then after I do that it is pointless. Why do people feel the need to keep contact with their ex? Why does talking to him make me feel like crap?

You say you're over him and don't miss him, but I'm not sure if that's 100% correct...

To me, the answer's obvious; it's about owning. And not owning anymore. To me, it's like, even though I've broke up with my ex, and don't miss her anymore, I at need to know what's she's doing and at the same time NOT wanting to know what she's doing. Even though I don't love her anymore, I don't like the the fact that she's doing GREAT without me and may even be seeing someone. Just picturing that someone with her pisses me off, even if I'm completely over her. Why? I guess it's a sort of primal thing, the ownage relationship, she was MINE, but she's not anymore.

So I often feel the same, it pisses me off to hear that my ex is doing great, is going out and having a lot of fun. Still, I cannot bring myself to stop finding out what she is doing, because I feel the need to know. Mostly, I would like to think that she misses me and wants me back, even if I don't want her back. I figure it's kind of an ego-thing. It's especially hard if the other one has moved on and met someone else, and you yourself haven't.

I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way, I've heard many examples of people talking about their ex'es where the relationship ended years ago and still revealing bitterness in their voice when they tell me how well their ex'es are doing. It's not always easy dealing with the concept of having been everything to someone and no longer being just that. As I see it, that is what makes you feel like crap. And my best advice is, as long as you're really over him and don't want him; stay contactless. And if you someday miss him _as a friend_ and nothing more, re-establish the contact and see what happens. If you don't want him as your friend right now, why keep in touch? I usually make it a rule to cut the contact until I feel ready to be just friends, and nothing more. Which often takes longer than expected.

i know its silly isnt it. i had the same problem. i would contact her to try and get some answers. all i ended up getting was alot of things that hurt me. you are doing the right thing!!! disconnect yourself from him and you will be alright. i think we feel the need to contact our ex's because its routine. part of letting go is breaking the routine. instead of calling your ex.....call your best friend. it works believe it or not. goodluck. pm me if you wish.

well right now you just want to think that he is miserable without you and he prolly doesn't want you to know if he is. i don't see why you have to keep in contact with you ex if it just make you feel like crap other people can do it but it isn't always meant for everyone