question about a kid

This is my first time on this site, and to tell you the truth, i don't know what to expect. I don't know if what i'm going to post really belongs here, but after looking around the site, i figured this to be the best place.

Ok, this is kinda a long story. I'm 18 and in college. For one of my classes I was required 30 hours of community service. Since I was thinking about becoming a teacher, I did my time at an elementry school. A 3rd grade class. I loved it. It was one of the best things I have ever done. And the kids loved me too. They were so funny, quizzing me about why i have an ear ring and long hair (fyi, I'm a guy). All the kids were like that... except one. There was one kid who just treated me like I was her best friend. She was always just telling me about her day, what was going on in her life. It was shortly after that i found out her parents were divorced. I've never really worked much with divorced kids before but i knew that she lacked a father in her everyday life and i figured that i should just set the best example for her as possible. So the year went by... way too fast. I did way more than 30 hours. I had finished the assignment before christmas break, but just kept going back because i loved being with the kids. So it was the last day of class. I was there for the end of the year party. And so i was just talking to the girl like usual. She was just telling me about what she was going to do after school and what not. She was talking about going to the pool... then she added that if I were ever to go to her house that i could go with her. I had to inform her that that just wasn't going to happen. Then she asked me if i wanted her phone number. What else could I say? I had to refuse... She was of course upset...

I'm sure that there is some emotional damage from the divorce. It wasn't too long ago, seeing that she has a 4 year old bro. Was the reason that she was so attached to me because of the divorce? I don't know... I just wish there was something else i could do, but the school years over now. And now she's off at a different school. I feel bad for her...

yeah you pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one she just kinda clung to you cause she didnt really have a father but you did the right thing and hopefully it will make her a little happier knowin someone cares

Yup I think you hit that 1 right on.

How come you culdnt take her # to call her? Would it have been unprofessional? I kinda figured it would be but just reading ur story my heart goes out to her..that would be so hard to leave her after all that.

Good Luck!

-Swimchick03

Seems to me the only other thing you could have done, and maybe should have done (I don't know where the boundaries are in schools in 2003), is talk to her guardian, and also tell the girl the reason why you're not taking her number (i.e., you care a lot and want to make sure she gets the help she really needs...you can't do it, as much as you'd like). I think it's not too late. Personally, I'd speak to the administrator and see what can be done. That will help ease your mind, too.

Atticus02,

For a long time haven't felt what your post has made me to...

dfcannon has given you a great advice. Also, I thought that maybe it could even be possible for YOU to personally mentor this girl.

In my country there is a project of students mentoring children. A significant part of all the students participate in it, and most of them do a one-on-one personal mentoring that includes meeting twice a week with the child for a couple of hours during the school-year.

Good luck!

Foreigner.

Thanks alot all you guys. I think it was swimchick who asked why i couldn't take her number. Yea, I talked to my Mom about the whole deal. She usualy has a pretty good grasp on were the boundaries are relationship wise and whatnot. Well, first i wouldn't get her number cuz it would be kinda weird, ya know? A 19 year old (i lied in my first post... by accident ) guy calling up a 9 year old girl. Then i was thinking that maybe i should have gave her my e-mail address or something, just to stay in contact an let her know that i still care. All my friends that I asked about this were like "Dude, go for it. If i was in her situation It would make me feel so much better." But Mom disagreed. So i got yet another opion (sp... sorry, just got outta work, my brain is fried) from a old teacher of mine. I respect her a lot and her advice is 99% of the time right on the money. what she said was that even though it hurt, i shouldn't do that cuz like heaven forbit anything ever happen to that girl and like somebody sees that she's been like talking to somebody online they might be like "Who is this guy?" and bad crap like that and it may have bad effects on my rep and whatnot. I wish i knew her mother better, then it probably wouldn't be so weird. But I've only ever talked to her in passing ("Hi, how you doing?" "I'm good, U?" "Good."). I work in a pretty public place not to far from where she lives (the area, i don't know where exactly she lives) so i'll be keeping my eyes open. If i ever do see her again I might try and see something up... My heart just really goes out to this girl. She's so young and has her whole life in front of her but is alread going through such a rough time...

*sigh* Thanks again, all you guys... it helps to know people understand what i'm going through...

I really feel for your situation.

I can see ur point on where they might pin u as a pedifile or something for talking to her on the phone and whatnot about that.

Well, hopefully this works out for you!

-Swimchick