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Thread: i need help

  1. #1
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    i need help

    okay my ex uses this site and gave me the idea to use it and get advice. okay he wanted to know if he had a chance with me and i said i dunno but it didn't look good . and he freaked out. we've gone out 3 times and each and everytime one of us or even both of us gets hurt and i don't want that any more . its like a circle and i want out . he doesn't seem to understand it. every time this or something like this happens he freaks out at one point in time or another. he told me once before after he broke up with me why it was weird the 3rd time we went out it seemed more like we were friends that actually going out. a few weeks ago he blocked all my stuff for 2 weeks and now he wants me back but he's hurt me so much and i have hurt him alot to .. i told him i couldn't go back out with him again and he asked me why do i act like i would say yes(basically lead him on) i don't even know that i am its just my nature or attitude or how iam i guess you could day .please help me i want to be friends and not lead him on is that possible ? if anyone could give me advice then i would really appriciate it thanks
    lost and confused teri[/quote]

  2. #2
    Bronze Member segagirl's Avatar
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    Well, the best way to not lead a man is CLEAR and decisive action. So if you want him, then say yes I want to be with you. You can stop hurting eachother within the relationship if you "just do the right thing"...treat eachother right.
    If you only want to be his friend, than say...I only want to be you're friend...then do that. No love like emails, no kisses on the side...no I miss you...Just be a friend. This for most usually takes some time...meaning time away from one another to be sure you dont lead eachother on, and have time to "get over one another".
    Pretty much its up to you to say yes, or no.

  3. #3
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    Oh, my, this is painful to read. I'm a guy, and here's my sophisticated take on guys like him: loser control freak. LOL I say it this way only to shake ya a bit and say c'mon, u want a guy like this as a FRIEND? He's a steamroller and just doesn't get it. Don't buy that guilt trip and sob story crap. He's actually being abusive in my opinion...he tries to turn your honest and legitimate feelings back around on you, to make it as if YOU'RE the one with the problem. That's very manipulative and abusive, and not how a friend would treat another friend.

    Here's what I would do: get "busy" fast, change my number, move to the North Pole, anything to get away from him. K? I know you still have feelings for him, but that's not a good enough reason to be with a guy like this.

    Good luck to ya....

  4. #4
    Member tobigahart's Avatar
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    Hmmm... you're doing what I was doing to my ex. It probably comforts you to be in his presense as this is the way you guys have been for quite a while but deep inside you know its not right. The best thign for both of you is for you to NOT see him anymore. You really have the cut the ties if you both hope to be able to get out of this and still be friends. It will take him longer than it will take you to get over the realtionship but it is guranteed that both of you will be better off in the long run...

    You are going to hurt but you always have us for comfort and support

    I hope things work out for the both of you.

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  6. #5
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    i agree with dfcannon that guy is weird i think he just playin ya. b friends or dump him it obviously not workin. also b blunt with guyz cause we normally dont take hints very well.

  7. #6
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    umm see i think i forgot to metion he and i aren't going out any more he is trying his hardest to get me back and its not working but i dunno he sent me flowers and stuff but i still cant go back out with him . thank you for all of your advice it has been very helpful. lol

  8. #7
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    [quote="dfcannon"] loser control freak. u want a guy like this as a FRIEND? He's a steamroller and just doesn't get it. Don't buy that guilt trip and sob story crap. He's actually being abusive in my opinion...he tries to turn your honest and legitimate feelings back around on you, to make it as if YOU'RE the one with the problem. That's very manipulative and abusive, and not how a friend would treat another friend. [quote]

    roflmao i agree with this dude (that was pretty funny with the north pole and the ..uhmm..yeah..) anyway, heh just sit him down, and talk with him, reaso nwith him or osmething make him uderstand u jsut wanna be friends and nothing more. hope this helps, i jsut got up and ive been answering posts all morning, and im kinda gettin tired. i wish the best for you two, and hope everything works out .

    -GibsonRocker17


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