A Fool In Love

First, some history: I have been dating a guy for about a year and a 1/2. He is divorced due to his wife deciding to end their ten year marriage and move with the kids to another state eight hours a way. he claims to not know why she left. He has confessed to be deeply hurt. When we met he was going through the divorce proceedings. We also work together at the same organization but different sections. He told me that he wanted to marry again and maybe have children. About four months into the relationship he told me that he did not want any more children and that he was never getting married again. I know I should have left then, but i felt that maybe he was just bitter about his divorce so I've stayed with him. Through the relationship there have been unaswered questions about different girls cars that I see in his driveway. When I confront him about it he says that they are just friends. This past Monday, he called me up to say hi (I hadn't called him all weekend because his kids are here and I'm getting kind of tired of wondering where I stand with him.) Anyway, he told me that he doesn't understand it but sometimes he finds himself really missing me and has to hear my voice. I told him that I found myself feeling the same way on a constant basis. He then came over to my apartment with the children and vivited for a couple of hours. Then, yesterday, a good friend and co-worker of mine and one that he knows also, died suddenly. When I told him, he offered to come over and sit with me. When he arrived he told me to pack my bags so I could spend the night with him and the kids. He did not want me to be alone. I went to his home and he and the kids made dinner and baked cookies to comfort me. Today, I happened to be driving home from work pass a park. I saw him and a female hugging by his car. Her van was also one that i had seen on occasion paked in his driveway. I passed them, turned around and came back to make sure my eyes were not deceiving me. He was indeed hugged up with some girl and it appeared they were even kissing!! I honked my horn and waved. He waved back. I then turned my car around a second time to drive past. This time I slowed to a stop in front of him and her. They both looked at me like they did not know who I was or what was wrong with me. I drove off. Later today I went to his home and his son let me in. i closed the door to his bedroom so that his children wouldn't hear and politely asked him what that was all about. He said that he was sitting with a friend. I corrected him by saying you were hugged up and kissing some female in broad daylight!! He said that it really wasn't all that, he wasn't kissing her, and he can't have friends? I told him no, not like that. I then asked how he could tell me he misses me one day and then turn around and kiss another female the next. He began getting ready to take his son to a little league game and had an attitude. He said I could do whatever I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to be with him, but not like this. He just shook his head and refused to continue the conversation. His son then came into the room. I told him "okay then, thank you," and left. Now what was that all about? What is wrong with him? What is wrong with me. I love this fool and don't want to leave him because I really think he loves me, too. !!

Well it's apparent you don't trust him... if you don't trust him then you need to call it off. Your mistrust is already beginning to destroy the relationship.

It's possible he had kissed another girl, it's also possible he hadn't. There's also always the chance he just did not want to talk to you about it in front of his son.

I think you should let the issue go and tell him if he really didn't cheat on you then just to look you in the eyes and tell you and you'll believe him.

If he does this and you can't call it off because it's not going to work.

Hope this helps.

Well I would say you don't trust him for good reason. There of course is nothing wrong with men and women being friends. however, I believe that you should know and meet these women. If not than you have to wonder what he is hiding...I mean at this point do you even know who she is? In addition, seems he would know your car well enough to see you when you drive up to him? puzzling.

I don't think that him not talking to you had anything to do with his son, it sounds like it was not the first time you talked to him about this. I would sit him down, one last time and tell him what it is you want and expect out of the relationship, and determine if he can actually give it to you. Its about deciding what you cannot live without.