Some direction please!

Ok so i am new to all this but it seems a great place to get advice. I have been thinking about coming out to my best friend but idon't know how 2! I'm not sure how he will react either. Wot do i do if he flips etc...

All help and suggestions welcome.

Thanks loads K

well there are two things that could happen, he will laugh and say duh! i already new that ( which happens a lot) or he may be upset. People have all kinds of reasons for being upset. Some are religious based, and with some who are really close to us its out of fear. You will be amazed that your friends actually have dreams and plans for you, and when you tell them they worry they did not know you at all. But....usually the people who love you and care about you will settle down (if they are upset at first) and life goes on as normal. But when you do come out you have to be prepared to deal with some negitive responses, just so your not freaked if they respond badly.

Its not you're job to make you're friend "feel" better if he freaks out. Just let him know this is you, and you will be here when he is ready to talk. You will get tons of questions, answer if you can. Be free and open. And make sure you let him know your not looking for his approval, you just wanted him to know.

But I promise, its worth the risk. Being free to be who you are is such a blessing, that once you do it....you wonder why you waited so long.

thanks but i am still really scared! I have asked my friend before what he felt about gay men and with out any doubt he told me that he thought it was disgusting and unnatural. I have read that some people change their opinions when they actually have to confront the issue. Is this true.

I know i know i really want to tell but i am scared. Scared of ... i dunno. I live in a pretty narrowminded town. I don't know exactly wot i am scared of... i guess my friends falling out with me or something.

Are there any particular ways of actually telling them? Like over the phone or in a txt message or a letter or straight to their face?

Thanks k

Hi There !

About two years ago, my brother came out to me. I had a bit of an idea about it, but wasn't fully sure. He thought that I was homophoebic - I slag gay people quite a lot, and perhaps do give off the impression that I am a homophobe. Anyway, the truth of the matter is that I'm the complete opposite inside! He got some shock when he told me about how I reacted - and we went off to his boyfriends house for the rest of the evening.

My point is this :

Guys give off a completely different impression about their opinions of gay people - especially to other guys they believe to be hetrosexual !!

If your friend knew you were gay, do you really believe that he would hate you, slag you off, etc.....If so, get a new friend !! This is the new millennium. Your friend should be understanding about this. It is the person you are.

It's normal to be anxious about this - but you can not continue to live without letting the people closest to you know. Do your family, anyone else know? Is it possible that your friend already knows (like segagirl said) ?

The sooner the better !! Myself and my brother get on better now than we ever did !!

Al.

Thanks for being so helpful guys. I think i am going to tell him today. This evening.

No no-one else here knows. My friends in Paris and america know but no-one here. I think you're both right about what u say...i am still nervous tho.

Watch this space and i'll tell u all how it goes.

Thanks K

It is natural to be nervous about this ! Don't worry - just be honest, and show that you are looking for support. I'm sure you will get his support

Best of luck !

Al.