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In search of some good advice, thanks!


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Ok first off I am a 18 year old male, and I have very little confidence in myself. One of my main reasons I have so little confidence is because I am extremely skinny, I weigh 115 pounds and am about 6'1" tall.

 

I am extremely shy because of my apperance, apparently though my family say that I am a good looking guy and what not also a few friends say it. But I think they just say it to try and make me feel better, but it doesnt help. Reason for this is cause I have never herd of a girl being attracted to me before, and I am too affraid to flirt because of my lack of confidence in myself.

 

I want to work out but I am so shy that people will laugh at me, I say I dont care what people think but really I do.

 

Any advice on how to gain more confidence would be much appreciated, thanks for taking the time to read this.

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i have seen plenty of skinny guys with some hot girls...its not THAT big of a deal to most girls i dont think. most girls like a good body as a BONUS...not as the "main attraction". any girls that are worth going out with will base their interest in your personality first, and then grow to love the rest of your features as you become closer.

 

as for being skinny and wanting to work out...i have seen plenty of really skinny guys at the gym and people don't laugh at them. most people are at the gym to WORK OUT, not to laugh at people. they are concentrating on doing their own thing, not staring at you. but if you are still embaressed then why not do some workouts in your room? i havent been to a gym in like 5 years and ive kept myself muscular and in very good shape just through doing pushups, light curls, situps, and stuff like that. and maybe along with working out, you can add some protein to your diet to help build those muscles some good sources of protein are nuts, fish, soy products, eggs, and meats.

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Activelife gave some really good advice. I dont believe its your body shape thats causing a problem attracting girls, its what you said at the beggining of your post "I have little confidence in myself" you actually believe you have this physical problem, so women do too!

 

As for the Gym, i see people in there every shape and size, no one makes fun of anyone in there, everyone in the Gym is there because they want to stay healthy or get into shape!

 

Working out is a great confidence builder!, get to a good gym and tell the instructor your looking to gain mass, and follow his routine. they will get you on weights and probably boost your protein/calorie intake.

 

I mention the gym, not because you actually NEED to boost your weight, but because, if you do, youll start being confident in yourself, and THAT is whats really missing. but hey, imagine having 10 lbs of muscle on ya! you could have that in a few months if you really want.

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Exactly as they said. You have to accept yourself as a person before you can truly be happy. You think guys with muscles are cool? Get some In the end though as mentioned above, looks are not what counts. Theyr'e just there to catch attention. If you can real a girl in using a different method (funny, supportive, blah blah) then you can let your personality take over and really hit home.

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what both of the guys said are totally correct. Weight should not be an issue with getting girls attention to date, but i know how u must feel. I was on the thin/ skinny side of the house as i was growing up, and it literally took years for me to start filling out, and i finally became thick and comfortable with it...and i love it...

 

YOu will have to exercise and increase your protein intake. Peanut butter, and red meats are very high in protein. Protein shakes are also good early in the morning. INcrease your carbohydrates, such as pototoes, breads and rice, etrc...because they fill you out, and will get u there fast too...as you eat about 6 meals aday. Its also advisable to take pure creatine monohydrate...its a white powdery suppliment that increases your endurance during workouts, and the protein will help repair your muscles as u break them down...

 

Its attainable, but you have got to get over your shyness, and you will also discover new friends at the gym that can offer you support, and guidance in helping you attain your goals. Wear big baggy sweats or clothing that will camouflauge ur size for awhile., if it will make u more comfy or do as one of the guys sayd, and work out in a home gym, by investing into a universal set...till ur ready 4 the gym.

 

just dont give up, but work out everyday, start now, increase your protein and take creatine (it will retain water in ur muscles too) b4 workouts...drink plenty water...and ull be guaranteed to see results within a few short weeks...

 

i promise...

 

you will be SO fyne...the ladies will love u, and the guys will compliment you on the transformation. and ur confidence will skyrocket...

 

thats a promise...

cookies

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Thanks for all the good adive people. One problem is I dont usually get enough protien, not because I dont want to but because my parents are usually to buisy at work or other stuff to cook dinner, and I am to dumb to cook so thats why I lack in protien and most other things to.

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Those weight gainer shakes are no brainers, you just put some scoops of the stuff in a blender, mix, and drink, taste like a milk shake and some have like 1000 calories, but you need to do weight training with these , or youll just get a belly.

 

Tuna, on whole wheat, chicken breasts, pasta, all these things are pretty easy to make and are loaded with protein.

 

pasta, all you do is boil it in water for 8-11 minutes, pour the sauce on top, presto!, you can get chicken breast, just throw them on a skillet, add olive oil, add seasoning, bam instant protein, boil up some elbow noodles toss in a couple cans of tuna, wham instant meal.

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Hi! thank goodness you are young and you have everything ahead of you. I sound like an old lady but Im only 28 (yeah only...probably sounds old to an 18 year old). I think you are going to have to build yourself up not just physically but emotionally as well. First off, start a food diary. You may be one of those people that "forgets" to eat. I think some guyz do have that tendency. I do know how thin you are as I am 5'8 and my husband is 6'1 and most men I've dated are tall (*you do have that going for you!). They usually weighed about 180 to 200 lbs. But I would say 185 lbs was the average. Start an earnest food diary, see hwo much you are eating, and what. You have to start that in order to see what areas foodwise need improved on. What is your job/daily schedule like? Don't worry about going to the gym yet. I totally understand as I am very self-conscious despite that I am considered attractive by most men/women. (i'm not trying to sound prideful I just want to be 100% honest to you). You could also consider an anxiety medication as well, you might have mild anxiety excacerbated by the weight issue at the present. Buy a weight bench and weights....they aren't too expensive and they are very helpful useful, and you won't have to be embarrassed. Try not to concentrate too much on aerobic/cardiovascular workouts yet, but do weight train at home until you are comfortable going to a gym (you may not even have to in the long run). Try to find something you would like to contribute to in your society that will allow you to learn something new and work with people who are like minded. that sounds so corny but you woudln't believe how many people and how many new things you can learn by volunteering once or twice a week for 3 or 4 hours. Its a great way to network, even if you are shy like me. It also builds up your confidence tremendously and makes you feel like a really good person for doing it. A doctor once suggested to a friend of mine who was very thin that she have a milkshake with every meal. You could try that, but just m ake sure you do lift weights. I don't know how much you know about lifting weights and such, but there are quite a few excercises you can do at home w/a bench press, and dumbbells. I don't know if what I'm suggesting sounds unrealistic or not, but I think if you start slowly with these little steps, concentrating more on making yourself the best you can be, and believing in yourself, that the rest follows. I will say also, and I am not sure how true this is...but speaking for myself, I am shy and I never went up to men/guyz when I was single. I dated quite a few men who were probably not even considered attractive by most people , and I dated them because they had the courage to come up to me and ask me to dance, or have a drink with me, and because they had a fun or interesting personality. I think you will see especially as you get older, that there are quite a few very attractive women with overweight or mediocre looking men because those men had the courage to go up to them and invite them to do stuff with them. I know there are the attractive women also who are still stuck in the stage of being spoiled and wanting only attractive men to go with them, and I tried that too....but most of the very very attractive men treated me like dirt (of course I must have let them at tha tpoint, but I was young). Most of them cheated on me. I did have fun with both men, but in the end, it was the average male who got me because he was the one I could trust and who believed in me, and who thought I was the greatest person *not just looks-wise. He was also the best in bed, ensuring I enjoyed sex just as much as him. We could communicate openly with eachother and such...one day this will happen with you if you start with yourself, others will see what you are doing, ect and want to be involved with you. Its weird how when you are least looking for someone, and the most happy with yourself and your life, how you seem to attract people from everywhere. Have faith in yourself and realize how unique you are for being able to think about things the way you do and work toward being what you know you are truly capable of being deep down inside, without worries of "getting" a girl. In that state of mind, and in that happiness, I do believe women won't be able to help themselves in wanting to be with you.

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Oh i'm sorry I didn't see the part about your parents being gone all the time and not cooking for you. Didn't you say you are 18? Maybe I'm wrong, but you probably know how to read. I say this is in all honesty, if you can read then you can cook. I also know that despite this, most men being men, just don't want to go through the trouble. Also, when you are only cooking for yourself, lets face it and I did it too, you really don't feel its worth the effort. However, there are "snack" things that really don't require cooking that are ways to get protein. You may have to start going to the store by yourself to buy specific things that you want. When I was 17 I rented my parents basement, and I bought a little fridge, the dorm size ones. I used to buy stuff like Yogurt (which maybe you think is yuck but try Yoplait its really really good) Its high in protein and good for you too. Also, I would have a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches when I was single. The suggestion about tuna is good. This is sick but this tells you how bad I was before I had a family......I used to eat the tuna right out of the can after draining it, sometimes squire lemon juice over it. You just need to start being a little more independent is all.

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Hey everyone thanks for all the support and suggestions, really appreciate them alot thanks.

 

Since I have already been telling you people about my problems heres another one. I have screwed up my biological clock, I cant seem to get a good night sleep at a decent time. I tend to end up going to sleep somewhere around 5am in the morning and waking up at around 1-4pm in the afternoon I tried talking to my parents about getting me sleeping pills to help me fix this but they say that I dont need them. I honestly think I do, becuase if I turn off my tv and computer at say 11pm at night, I will just toss and turn for about 3-4 hrs before I give up and just turn back on my tv or computer.

 

Any suggestions for this would also be really helpful, thanks alot everyone for being supportive!

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How to take some confidence in you right !

 

You kno what gilga means by active life? Well its may be different here but well i'll told you some tricks here.

 

1) Some sports

2) Go to the gym

3) hang out with your friend at the beach

4) partyin'

5) and alots more

 

You see, when you flirt, just don't fear to be rejected. Everyone has been rejected once.

 

peace

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