How to help my BF deal with mothers cancer

Hello,

I have recently posted a couple times about my BF acting out of character and closing me off. Today a friend told me they saw my BF with his mother and she was really sick and had lost all of her hair. She has cancer. He hasnt told me this. Instead he is just avoiding me and hasnt wanted to see me since last Sunday before this one. He is coming over to talk tomorrow but I was told this in confidence and was told not to say anything. Should I bring this up? What if he doesnt share this with me and just breaks up? I know I am willing to be there for him anywhere and anytime but we have only been together 2 months and maybe he doesnt feel ready to share something like this with me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am afraid it is going to be over.

Thanks.

ooo This is a toughy. Having lost my own mother to cancer, I can sympathize with your bf. He may just be feeling like he needs more of a friend there than a girlfriend. I know when my mother got really bad, it was hard to even consider anyone else's feelings, including my own, with what she was going through. Maybe he received some really bad news about it, as in the chemo is not working, or maybe it is just really hard for him to see her like this. And why he isn't telling you, I don't know. Maybe he is the type that likes to keep these things to himself, or maybe he doesn't want to burden you. Or maybe it is because he feels that since you have not been together that long, you may not understand. Of course you feel this is ridiculous, but with what he's going through, weird and crazy thoughts commonly enter his head.

My advice to you is when he comes over, just let him talk. I'm not sure if you should mention it as he might be angry and think you had someone spying on him. But let him know that whatever is bothering him is important to you and you want to help him out however you can. Hopefully he'll come clean and things will work out with you. If he decides to break up or cool things off, don't blame yourself, realize that he just needs to deal with this unattached. Good luck.

I think its still early in the relationship to expect him to tell you all his problems. After all it might scare you away. so dont confront him about it.

I think you should be the good friend right now and be there for him when he needs it. If you really like him, its all you can do right now. I suggest keeping yourself available for him but also understand if he wants to just put you aside while he concentrates on himself.

If you find that he is being irrational or that he is just avoiding you altogether all you can do is accept it. This is gonna be the hardest thing in his life right now and he probabbly can't deal with any more problems.

If you really like this guy, understand and be there for him.

Anyways this is just my opinion, and the way i feel right now.

Goodluck, all the best.

LeoPanda

Ouch wow....well i think your best bet would be for to ask him why he has been closing you off...and let him know that you are there for him and there to support him through whatever he is going through...b/c after all that is what a relationship is right?

I hope this helps!

Good luck

Thanks for everyone's advice. I guess I will know tomorrow where everything stands. The thing is I don't want to be selfish and feel that our communication problem is bigger than what he is dealing with. I have the fear he just doesn't have the energy to focus on this right now and it may hurt but I want his happiness. My ex boyfriend from last summer lost his mother due to a stroke at a young age. He is only 28 and she was about 48. I don't feel as though I handled it well and we ended up breaking up but managed for a while to remain friends. But now that I have been through that I feel as though I am ready to really be there for my new boyfriend. Thanks again to everyone for taking the time to give me their thoughts!