Jump to content

drug abuse to the max and lost the person I loved the most


Recommended Posts

I don't know where to start, im so frustrated by this and sorry for the language. Lets say this, i've been on drugs since 9 yr old, my mom is a cocaine addicted bit*h she was depressive to the max and bit*h slapped me everytime. But she doesn't remember shit now, I swear. My step-dad do remember all the shit she've done to me. I wished her death, just like my sister. At the age of 12 my step-dad and my mom divorced cause my mom was cheating on him, she still regrets it. So I was forced to moved with her by the law, i was cryin over the one I call dad ( my step-father) and he told me that all the shit was goin to be fine since now. So I move to a city name st-hyacinthe its about 45 min from here in car. I didn't see anyone for 3 months, I had fight with everyone even my director. They forced me to quit school so I did. I started to drink all my mom's bar liquors with my friend my sister was like if you dont buy me shit ill tell mom what you've done so she had me 2 months like that I did all she wants. I got myself some heroin and some methedrine and I started to tripped like that. I remember my first tripped on heroin, I was vomiting my own bloood, that was sick... Then I started the downers, uppers and all mixed up together... I was lyin downstairs on the floor when I woke up someone I found out 10bucks in my pocket someone thought I was a poor guy who lives on the streets so well I got home, take my shit and leave to st-hubert ( thats where I still live).

 

To go back, my mom never wanted me, when she told my real dad she was pregnant of a boy my dad left my mom and my sis. She was about to gave to some orphelina when she met my step-father, it was the 25 weeks of her pregnancy. Well he stayed and I grew up with them, but my mom never paid attention to me always on my sis, like she was an angel. At the age of 6 my real father came back; now he wanted to see us. We were like allright. Every thing was fine till he started beating the shit outta me. its been like that till I get my 12 year old. now hes in prison. The court kinda forced me to see some psychologist, I have so much pain and suffering that he quit on me. I never seen him again. I didn't talk to my mom till I got 15, that was my birthday its shinning outside then she cames and told me this " Jeff, I hope you had never existed, you're always been a mistake... but I love you". I was like this shit must be ***in joke or what?! Then I met my g/f the day after my bday so it was september 4 hehe. I thought she was kinda weird, my friend was like shes a junkie dont approach her. Guess what happened? We become so close, I took so much shit with her. I would have died if she asked for then she died on me while I was sleeping... I never touched heroin again... vomiting blood iis nothing compared to this. I can't love anyone today I have close friend as well, but Ive put a magic lock on my heart and I dont even know if I still have one. im not ugly at all and I still makes girl cries I wonder why I am even here? I live for my friend cause I don't live for my life, If I was doin that I would be prolly dead now.

 

thanks for listening I think this is too much I cant continu sorry

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

Link to comment

Dextro,

 

It is good you are living for something! If not yourself, it is good you are living for something. All your friends are glad you are still here. You may think you screwed up...but who hasn't? I can bet you there is not one person in this entire world who has not screwed up. You have survived this long...you will overcome the obstacles in your life and you will triumph and begin life anew. You will love again. Believe me you will. Everything takes time...you just have to be patient.

 

I know you are not religious...but this might back some sense:

 

Ecclesiastes 3

 

 

A Time for Everything

 

1

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

 

2 a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

 

Good luck!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...