I can't stand my mother!

My mother drives me crazy for 5 reasons:

1- She treats me like a 4 year old

2- She has told me that I'm fat and that I need to lose weight for the past 3 years since I was 12 ( I'm 5'6" and 145lbs)

3- I've only been in trouble ONCE and still she keeps like a 6 inch leash on me

4- She gets mad at me and takes things out on me, and when I ask her why she's mad, she never has a reason and just says "I don't know"

5- She makes me feel like my opinions don't matter. I don't feel like I can tell her anything... even the simple things. When I do try to approach her, it feels like she backs me into a corner. I want to be able to tell her how I feel and how much she hurts me, but almost I'm scared that she will get mad at me for feeling that way.

I try to be sooooo perfect for her. I've only been in trouble once, and that was for being late for cerfew. I bust my ass to keep my grades high (my lowest this whole year was a 96% and I'm in advanced and honors classes) and be just perfect for her in general... but she doesn't seem to notice or care. I'm such a tightass for it, and I want to be able to relax and have fun, but I'm just sooo terrified of her that I can't.

I've become such a Daddy's girl now because I'm trying to get away from her so much. I love him. He breaks up our fights, and is the rational third party in just about everything. If I didn't have him around, I don't know where I'd be.

Please... I really don't want this to go on any longer. I want to have a good relationship with my mother. I want to be able to trust her, and I want her to trust me. If anyone has any advice on how I can approach my mother without getting terrified and chickening out like always, it would be greatly appreciated. Or even any advice in general. Anything would help, whether it's just to know that I'm not alone in this, or advice on how I can deal with her for the next three years until I graduate. Thanks.

I had a lot of issues with my mother as well during my teen years. But I did the exact opposite of what you are doing. I got so fed up with her nagging and trying to mold me into this perfect person that I rebelled. My grades dropped in school, I dropped out of advanced english my senior year(good thing too because I would have failed it) and continuously did things deliberately because I wanted to show her that I am not this perfect person.

My point is, if being perfect isn't working, and quite obviously my attempts to be a pain in the butt instead of compromising didn't work either, my advice to you is just be yourself. Teenage girls and their mothers are normally apt to get on each others nerves. Why? Well, from my experience I always felt my mother was jealous because I didn't settle down in my life like she did. Sometimes I wondered if she was afraid I would have her life. My sister and my mother faught constantly too. You gotta realize, you are her child and she knows that you are growing up and won't be around much longer for her to watch over. I know you are terrified of her, maybe since your father is such a good mediator he could sit down with the two of you and talk. But make sure he doesn't just jump to your or her defense, make sure he isn't being one sided.

I hope that you can work things out with your mother. I never truly worked things out and now it's too late, my mother died last year. I wish you the best of luck and I remind you, compromise as much as you feel you can, but never give up the true person inside. Parents sometimes say they want the best for us, but it sometimes seems they want a perfect child. Be true to yourself, and your parents will accept you, eventually.

Hello geargia Babe

sounds like you really having a hard time, but I am sorry to say I dont think there is much you can do, your mother is the one that seems to have problems here, she may have many problems that she has little control over, but your the one thing she can control so she may be taking out her frustrations out on you.

You could try and have a heart to heart with her or talk to your father, maybe he can convince her to see counsel.

other than that, dont pressure yourself so much, be easy on yourself and on your mom, she is probably going through something she cant control and doesnt mean she doesnt love you or that your bad.

I hope you do get things resolved with her, if not its going to be a rough 3 years. but whatever happens, forgive her. when you leave and she is alone I bet she will be faced at confronting her problems. Parents are people to, they make mistakes and have problems of their own and dont always know how to handle everything.

Just be as good as you can be, strive to be a better person, not out of fear, but for yourself because you deserve it!