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Before we got married, my wife looked hot. Nice and slim. Since then she has been getting bigger and bigger. She works in a fast food restaurant and I know she's eating all day. Is it wrong for me to give her an ultimatum to lose the weight? A few extra pounds would be fine but we've been married 8 years and she's probably put on 80 pounds.

link removed Before and after shots

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Hi Dangel,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that you're not entirely happy right now. I understand that your wife has gained a lot of weight over the past few years.

 

I am not sure how to answer your question. Looks isn't everything, but to you it seems to be a BIG issue. My rule in life is: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy." In that respect, you might want to ask her to loose weight and put an ultimatum on it.

 

Did you try to stimulate her to loose weight anyways? You might want to take her to health club annex gym to work out. If you both go, you might be able to help her and stimulate her. Excercising is always good for everyone.

 

I hope that this helped you a little and I wish you good luck in making the decisions that work for you

 

~ SwingFox ~

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Why don't you pull out old pics of her when she was slim and hot. Tell her that although you still love her now, how great she'd looked back then. She may need just a little coaxing into trying to lose weight. I feel that issuing an ultimatum is way too harsh. You don't simply dump someone because they have put on weight.

 

Actually I was once in your wifes shoes. I too had an H who complained a lot about my weight......but that wasn't the reason why we separated btw.

After we separated the pounds dropped off......I am now thinner than I was when I met him....... LOL

 

Perhaps you should leave her for a few weeks.......*just kidding*

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i can understand your feelings on this situation. I think that when women become more aware of what it takes to keep men interested in them sexually and keep that spark going when they first met, there would be alot of happy couples out there not divorcing. Some men and women dont care if their mates gain weight, but for health reasons, we all should consider the consequenses of become obese or overweight.

 

Being within a healthy weight, has alot of benefits, to include boosting our self confidence level to incredible heights. When we look good, we feel good and we treat others really well, also. It sounds to me as if, she should find another job that wont allow her to be eating all day long. The temptation wont be there, and she may be more physically involved that the wieght may start shedding off.

 

Dont give your wife an ultimatum, since u love her. thats not necessary, but do discuss your feelings about her weight. Dont beat around the bush, nor say it in such a way to sound critical, judgemental, as if you dont love her or attracted to her still. PPL that have successful marriages learn how to communicate with such an effectiveness, they learn to use it as a tool to help them in attending to their mates needs. So, not only will you become satisfied if shes receptive of what you may address concerning these weight issues, but she will ultimately become that same beautiful lady that she is, and was when u fell in love, but back down to her sexy slim self..that you wont be able to keep ur hands off of.

 

Losing weight can be accomplshed, but she has got to obtain the desire to do so. Eating habbits must change, and yours as well, if you are serious. Avoid fried foods, have her start out simple, by baking her meats, without the fat, and it can be delicious, Steam your veggies and drink alot of water to flush out impurities from your body. Cut down on carbohydrates and it fills us "out", and increase protein (as found in meats) because it builds muscles as you break down fat and turn it into muscle. Invest into a real nice home gym, a sturdy treadmill. Work out with her ,and act as her motivator. Spend the time together ,and coach her into a new and healthier woman, and you will become just as buff..and u both will reap the benefits together...

 

and the sex will be bangin...

 

good luck..

 

cookies

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  • 2 weeks later...

She may feel the same way about you. I'm not saying you're fat or slim or whatever, I have no idea what you look like but you never know. Instead of TELLING her to go to a gym or spa or whatever try doing it WITH her. That way, she'll feel you still love her but just want her to get into shape again. Buenos Suerte! (Good luck!)

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Thanks. That's great advice. It's true that I've put on some weight too because she cooks so much food, but not nearly as much weight as she has. If it was just a few pounds, like 20-25, I wouldn't be bummed, but as you can see it's a LOT more and she's still getting bigger. Its not going to be easy. I know she loves to eat and has not been active in several years. I like the idea of putting together a home gym because I don't think she'd go for going to a gym in the shape she's in now.

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