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Thread: why do words hurt so bad!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    right here

    why do words hurt so bad!

    So I guess when I broke up with me ex I told her that I did not love her

    anymore, and did not care about her. Now I do not remember saying this,

    but suppose it is true? Why is it so bad too say something that I clearly

    did not mean? I even asked her if I acted like I did not love her, or care

    about her. She said that Ido act like I love her, and care about her. So if

    actions speak louder than words, why is this such a big deal. I mean we

    all say things we do not mean when we are in the heat of the moment. I

    just can't believe that this is one of the straws that broke the camels


  2. #2
    Member cookies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Atlanta, Georgia
    alot of times we do say things that we really dont mean, but sometimes the things we say are the most hurtful to ppl that we love..and we are not able to take any of the words back. We act stupid sumtimes, and then later on regret every word that came out of our mouths. Yes, actions DO speak louder than words, but if you actions are saying that you love her, and your mouth is saying another...how is she to really know what you are truly meaning and if you really DO love her? She is not able to read your mind, all she know is what you have said...

    IN relationships, i think that ppl need to hear the words. "I love you". to reassure one another as it puts us in a comfort zone and gives us a sense of security in the relationship. If a man told me this, as you've said , I would leave and not turn back. Theres no way that anyone can convince me that he loves me otherwise, in the midst of this uncomfortable situation, we just dont say things for the heck of it, to hurt sumone. Thats a very unhealthy start into any relationship. Even friends say they love one another from time to time. Just puttin myself in her shoes, is very painful knowing that someone i love, would even thinK these words, let alone say it.

    ITs fun to joke around and be playful with our lovers, but to outright say something like this , is just not loving, and breaks whateva bond you two were building...


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    The point is, you did say those things. You said extremely hurtful things and then just expected her to "forgive and forget" because now your in a good mood. It shows carelessness.

    What's so bad about saying that is that you lied to her. She no longer has any reason to trust you, so she doesn't.

    Put yourself in her shoes, how would YOU react if someone told you those hurtful things? Chances are you wouldn't like it one bit.

    So basically, you hurt her. She doesn't want to let you close because she's afraid of being hurt again.

    And I'll agree that we do all say things in the heat of the moment, but we also have to take responsibility for them. You aren't taking responsiblity. The very least you could do is appologize to her, instead of trying to make excuses for yourself.

    Hon, YOU broke the camel's back. YOU broke up with HER. That alone will have a girl upset with you for a while, especially if you are teens. Teenage girls have very wild emotions. You also said hurtful things while doing it. Whether you like it or not, it isn't her problem, it's yours.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Some of the girls that posted on here are a little testy..........lol Damn! Okay, so maybe you slipped up and said a few mean things.......Its human, we all say mean things from time to time in order to guard ourselves from being volunerable. If you really didn't mean these things, love this girl, and want to have her in your life.....You need to do some apologizing, maybe some flowers, some more apologizing, and forgiveness should be an easy thing. Advice for the future.....I am a woman, thereforeeeeee I never forget an insult after it has been repeatly used every time there's a fight, so don't do it again.

    "It is better to sleep on things to lie awake about them after..."



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