2 year Girlfriend passed away

It all started 2 years ago. I met the girl of my dreams by chance coincidence. I always thought it was fate that brought us together. We fell in love right away. We were each others first real relationship and we were both 20 at the time. I thought she was Perfect for me, my soulmate.

She had a very hard life. and the summer before i met her, her brother died. She was so fragile I wanted to make her happy and strong. She persevered through so much i was so proud of her. We fell deeply in love and were making plans for the future after graduating university. when a month ago she was killed by her oldest brother.

I'm still so sad. She was everything to me. she made me feel whole. Her smile and her laugh became central to my life. I love her so much and now she's gone. All I wanted to do was take away her pain and wipe her tears.

Its like the fate that brought us together has parted us forever. I can't seem to understand. She suffered so much only to die so young. It makes me crazy to think she'll never enjoy the happiness i promised her. I feel so alone.

please someone help me.

i know i only knew her for 2 wonderfull summers. So short a time, how can someone really become attached ? Well i was. I was so attached to her after 3 months. and She was attached to me. We were perfect for each other. She just felt so right. It was like i knew her my whole life.

Why was i alowed such a wonderful heaven only to have to taken away.

I dont understand. She was destined for so much more.

Please give me some advice or insight. or tell me an uplifting story of how people move on.

I feel so sad to know i'll never see her smile again or hear her voice.

LeoPanda

The way I see it god needed another angel and felt no one fit the part like she did.She is smiling down on you and you will meet again.JUst remember the good times and that its okay to cry.Feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk about anything.

I am so very sorry for your loss, but you have to understand she would want you to move on. Hold on to your friends until you're able to stand on your own again, then you'll find someone special. Not to replace her, or make up for her, but someone else you could grow with.

I wish you the best.

I agree with Candi, she was taken away from you for a reason, and that reason is to always be looking down on you, he will always be there and she will always be apart of your life, dont worry she is smiling down on you, and you will be with her again someday, just close your eyes and think of the good times you both shared, and remember the times when you have made her happy when she has been sad, she is there for you, it is sad to hear of someone who is so young and strong to be taken away from this world, be strong, and dont be afraid to cry, look at a photograph of her to remind you of her smile.

Just remember to stay strong, you are never alone, she will always be there looking after you!

Good luck in your life! and i hope everything goes well for you!

Thanks for your words of support everyone it really helps to think that i fell in love with an angel. She loved to be called that.

This is a newpaper article about everything thats happened. link removed

and If you want to know more about us my page is...

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Thanks candi, your words made me feel better.

i know she truly was my angel, and that she would want me to be happy.

Its just that, i miss her so much. We both worked so hard to make time for eachother. It just seems so unfair. i love her. I try to be there for her. and now i try to be there for her family, she has a sister and another brother whom i both feel closer to. Not to mention her parents. I can only begin to imagine their pain. this is the first time anyone really close to me has passed and i'm not taking it to well. It just isn't fair.

Leo

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is hard to loose someone you loved and cared so much about. It's even harder because of the way she left this earth. You have to move on and I think she would have wanted that. Think of all the good times you had and the times you made her happy. You have done all that you can to love and care for her and you should be proud of that. She's in good hands now and is looking down on you. She's in a place where she will always be happy.

Time will heal a wounded heart.

I can't even begin to understand what you must be going through. I remember reading this article a couple weeks ago. I live in the toronto area as well.

I'm very sorry for your loss, but I know that things will only get better with time.

Stay strong.

I live in the Toronto area too. Omg that is so sad, im so sorry to hear about ur loss, it makes me feel sad too

I need to pass this on to my friends.

Why don't you try to kill the guy who killed her? Don't worry you'll move on eventually, it hurts alot now i bet, try going to a psychiatrist or something, they will help u out..... email removed add me on msn and we can talk!

awwww so sryyyyyy

~~~becky~~~~~~

Jesus dude, I don't even know what to say. To be quite honest man, I was thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend but reading your post made me break into tears and reconsider. I couldn't even imagine this happening to me.

I guess the best advice I can give you is that things WILL get better. It's a fact of life. Every morning the sun will rise, and every night the sun will set. The world works in cycles. Just because you went from top to bottom doesn't mean you'll never make it to the top again.

And things always have an odd way of working themselves out. The second you stop trying to find the answers they will find you. Just let life live itself out, and you will be surprised at how things work. Just remember to not hold yourself back. Don't pass up life to morn her. If she truly loved you she would want you to be happy at all costs. Just as you would have wanted her to be happy at all costs. And think of that as your mission. If she loved you the same amount as you love her then the only way you can truly honor her memory is by fulfilling what she would have wanted to live for - the chance to make you happy. Every day that you enjoy yourself; every day that you are happy is a day that you honor her memory. If that involves your friends good, if that involes another woman (Most likely later on, but it will come) then good. If it involves something else, that's good too. Just enjoy yourself.

We only get 80 some odd years on this planet and most likely 79 years of that time we will be wasting on things that mean almost nothing. In the end all that matters is that you enjoyed yourself during your life. It sounds like you made the last two years of your girlfriend's life the best years of it, and thereforeeeeee you have made her life complete. Now it is your turn to accomplish what she didn't have the time to do - make your life complete.

I wish you the best of luck in everything that life hands to you in the present and the future, and if I ever get around to praying again(I'm not that religious...) you'll be in my prayers. If you need someone to talk to my e-mail is email removed .

May your God and mine give you a path to walk on and a light to walk by.

I have to say that I have experienced a similar ordeal, losing the person I love at 21. It might help to remember on and off that she is a part of YOUR life...and that that life is still continuing as long as you live. Remember that there were needs of YOURS that she met, just as you met hers, and those needs will continue to be unmet until you find someone or something to meet them.

Something I recently saw on television indicated that we gravitate toward relationships because of traumas incurred in childhood. For me, I felt a need to be accepted, because I often felt left out as a kid. What did you find by being close to your girlfriend? Keep in mind that you brought her into your life as a conscious decision, and you can consciously bring into your life what you need for the rest of of your life. You seem to have wanted to take care of her, just as you are now trying to take care of yourself, and I think you will be alright overall. Just give yourself the moments to grieve.

Well, it seems you may be right about childhood trauma. I too felt very outcasted when i was little. Being that i was part of a very small asian population at school until university. I met my girlfriend during my summer break after completing two years of university. I felt like i knew her all my life. She went through the exact same thing growning up in a small town up north. I always told her how i wish i had met her so much earlier in life, it just seemed like i was waiting for her this whole time. As for my desire to be there for her, it just seemed like the only times i was really happy was when she was happy. And the times where i was really hurt were the times she was upset, or sad.

It just seems like she was made for me, like God read my dreams and sent me an angel. Except she was SO much better than anything i could ever dream. what I wanted more than anything was for her to be happy. I remember all the times i drove out west to see her during school. She was 1hr away, but i'd drive the distance anyway if only to see her smile, or to wipe away her tears.

I Love her because she made me live life, up until i knew what love was i was only surviving. She changed me profoundly, and I just wish i could thank her for everything she has done for me.

I never understood why it is that some people could ever possibly marry their first love. How could they commit themselves to one person without a measure of comparison. But when you love someone so profoundly, so completely, it doesn't matter, because no one else can ever compare, and you dont care.

Anyways, you get the idea.

LeoPanda

I hear you. My first love has changed my life--that silly nonsense from the media about love causing people to walk on air in absurd ecstasy was no longer nonsense! It's so different to feel complete, to be one with a stranger after talking to them just a few times, and feeling like you belong somewhere--in that person's arms. I've also heard that first loves never really do end, and I believe it. As for "ending" due to loss of life, I have a few things to say. Due to moving far away, I've had to live without the people who sustained me, and had found myself alone. I think the greatest therapeutic, when you have something to say to someone but can't talk to them, is to say it without them there. Write an e-mail or a letter without sending it to anyone, or pick up a telephone without connecting to a dial-tone, and just talk as if your girlfriend were there and listening...she would want to hear what you have to say. If you can, if you trust someone enough for this, or if you can see a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist, pretend that that person is your girlfriend, close your eyes, and tell them everything that you would want your girlfriend to hear. This is extremely effective--it can heal, but you should approach these methods only when you are ready. After I lost my significant other, I would continue to talk to them, in my mind, and imagine that I was them responding. I was sure I was crazy, but it was a relief, to live our relationship again. Well, after looking online for comfort (just as you did!) I found an interesting article at link removed about grieving, and what is acceptable in it and what isn't. There is also a discussion on people who have lost their partners at an early age at link removed

Check out the links on the left for some enlightening questions for people who have lost their partner. I wish you all the healing you need. Move slowly as you do this. It will be better for you in the end.

Today is her 49 day aniversary. I'm told its a very special day in budhist tradition, i dont know myself really. All i can really say is that 50 days ago I was such a happy boy. I was deeply in love with the girl of my dreams, a girl who accepted the real me without expecting more. A girl who saw more in me than i did in myself sometimes. 50 days ago i was happy. and what seems like a pain that is 49 days long is still as fresh as an open wound. I really miss her smiling face, and her warm arms around my chest. i have pictures of her all around my room, i have the plush toys she game me. She was sickeningly cute and by extension WE were always very couplely. I miss having her in my life. She was such a big part of it and now theres nothing but an empty void that i have filled with past memories and blissfull denile. I just want to say so many things to her about my thoughts and feelings and to hear her reaction. I pains me so deeply to know that she will forever be missing from the rest of my life. And to know she is missing out on the rest of hers.

49 days of pain and suffering and i feel no closer to any answers than i did at day 1. 49 days for longing for her kiss and her voice to tell me everything is going to be alright. I can't help but remember all the good times we shared, the quiet moments we stole away. What seems so insignificant before her passing has become so strong and profound that i can't help but miss everything about her.

49 days ago, i wish i could turn back the clock and save her life. and save myself from this torment.

LeoPanda

This is hopefully the most tragic thing you'll ever have to endure in your life, and no matter what anyone says, everyday you will still think about her and still hurt inside and still be confused as to why shes gone. Just always remember that people are meant to come in and out of your life for a reason. She was meant to pass on, and you were meant to fill the last of her life with love and joy. This was a chapter of your life, meant to teach you, however harshly, that not everything is forever. So in saying that, remember her and grieve as much as you need everyday, but also set aside parts of the day to just be with your friends and family. Eventually you will find another woman, and it won't be the same, but you'll love her in a new way. You'll never forget your first love, but eventually the hurt will be replaced with fond memories and she will always have a piece of your heart.