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Our 9 month old boy after divorce and more. Please Help.


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Hello, I'm 30, male been married now for 1 year 3 months.

 

I am new here. And ofcourse new to divorce. I am unhappy and I want to get in a divorce. We could be on good terms afterwards as we do not hate eachother or anything (our relationship is another story).

 

On the other hand. We have a 9 month old boy that I love to death. I know it is wrong to stay in the relationship becuase of the child. I want to finally do somthing about it. Friend of mine with divorced parents says it is better to split up while the child is young, then he will not know what is going on. Is this true?

 

The hard part. I know she will get custody. We live in Oregon now. She will probably move back to Utah with her family after the divorce. Is there any rules on how far the parents are from each other etc?

 

Now how in the heck am I going to do this? He is only 9 months old. Is there anyone in a simular situation? Do I "hang out" with my wife and son so he still knows whos mommy and daddy? I know I'll want to see him.

 

-user

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Well I am the result of a marriage kept together for the kids and I do not reccomend it. You should do what makes yourself happiest. You should show your child what a good relationship it instead of staying together and being unhappy. In the long run your wife will end up happy with someone else. My parents divorced after 30 years of marriage and now my mom is 50 and unhappy and single too scared to get out in the dating world. So waiting and staying together can do more damaging than good. But you have to look at both sides, is this what you really want.

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Thank you for your insight on this raelynn. You are right. And now I think about it. I know a mother that stuck it out for 26 years with her kids and then they split up. Now the mother is co-dependent (40+ years old) and has dated 30 men with no luck in finding the right one.

 

Someone once told me. "What kind of roll model would you be for your son if you stuck in this marrrige?" "What could you teach him about relationships when he gets older?"

 

Thanks again!

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