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ok... so I just got out of a close to 4 year relationship... I was engaged... I was treated very bad the last year or so.... I was neglected and it seemed my ex-fiancee was only around when she needed help with homework or for sex....

 

with that said.........I am now starting a new relationship with a girl I met this year at college. We have much in common and I get this vibe from her that I have never got from anyone before... It is hard to explain. We only spent 3 nights together and we have chatted some.......we can't really start anything until next school year... she is on a trip right now, soon I will at least be able to chat with her.

 

She apparently was interested in me before I asked her out... because she has turned every other guy that has asked her out this year down. She does have a boyfriend, but she said it is nothing serious and she is going to tell him it is over after his finals are done. She does not like the fact that he lives so far away from her and from what I understand he has done little to contact her this school year... he is very busy though. She says that she wants to try and start something serious with me and I am very happy....but I am also so use to being happy and thinking everything is ok, just to find out that I am being lied to. I know she is not the one who hurt me... but my guard is really up.... and I want so bad to give her all of my trust.......and at some point all of my heart........ is it normal for me to be a little wary going into a new relationship after coming out of a bad one? I have never been in this situation before.

 

I don't even know how to tell if a girl really likes me or not.. because my ex-fiancee... who was my first.......was very unreponsive to "touch"... I remember for the first few months or so... if I kissed her she would not kiss back........her lips would stay sealed........and we never got to the poin that we kissed with passion... I wanted to but she never did.......she would not hold hands either...... the new girl......the second night I was with her... I gave her my first kiss to her.......and we ended up kissing for minutes at a time........the third night was the same.........and both nights I massaged her and held her and we watched movies...........the third night she also stayed over .......no we did not do anything.......I just held her, massaged her and kissed her while she slept................ I guess my question is............. does it seem this girl really, really likes me? I mean she is not the type to kiss just any guy....she has turned every guy down that has asked her out this year........and we both think it is weird because we seem to have a kind of bond............a connection........

The morning she had to leave my room and prepare to leave college we held each other and kissed for what seemed like a very long time........ we have talked a few times since online and I called her a few times...... she has been very busy with the trip she had to go on......... but I am just left wondering what to feel.......I don't want to get hurt again...

 

all I want is to see her again.. hold her, massage her.. look in her eyes and kiss her wonderful lips....... I mean we have already talked about what we would want in the future... we have talked about kids... about roles....... she feels the same way about relationships that I do... you don't just go out with someone for fun.... you go out with someone because they could be a possible mate........ we both feel this way.........what do you guys think........... should I be nervous or is it time for me to finally relax and enjoy what I have found.

 

The other problem is that I am starting to worry about my body... because her friend told me that the guy she was seeing that she is going to end it with soon is fit........ he is not buff or anything, but he is toned.....plus he is really smart.........I have graduated college....but I also have a stomach on me.......I have been dieting for about 2 months because I wanted to be healthier.... but now I am worried she will not like what she sees when I remove my shirt.......... I guess she would know that I am not the most fit guy in the world. I think she is also the type to care more about what the person is like on the inside....... She does not return home for a another week or so... and I am just so afraid she is going to tell me she has a had a change of mind.

at the same time I feel that she really, really likes me... because for one... I sense that she has not been treated like I treated her.......I mean from day one of me telling her how I feel I gave her a long massage.......I massage her everytime I am with her.......and then throw in the kissing and the holding hands and stuff........I gave her a white rose the second night.........for all I know she might be worried that I am going to return to my ex-fiancee........... not going to happen, I want this woman.........nothing every goes right for me though.......why should it now.

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It sounds to me like you have a real winner here. But, she might mistake your nervousness as not wanting to be in the relationship. However, i think you have made it clear through your fisical actions that you want t o be with her. Is her trip a trip back home until next school year? If so, i think you should write her a letter telling her how you feel. That way she can open up your letter and read it anytime and think about you. Then, ,when she comes back to school in the fall she'll be thrilled to see you.

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