Looking for a womens advice

Hi I am just looking for advice from a womens view. I am engaged to the most wonderful women in the world and I love her more than she knows. She is going through alot right now and I want to be there for her but I feel she is pushing me away when I try to help or comfort her (she has just found out she has endometriosis). In the past 3 months I feel our relationship has got distant, I know she has not found another guy and I know she loves me cause she says she does. She is busy alot with a volunteer thing she is doing for her old high school. How do I tell her how I feel without adding to her problems? Do I just accept it? We don't argue or fight, I know she would let me know if I upset her. I just don't understand. I want to spend time with her and be there for her, but it seems like I have to beg her to spend time with her. Breaking up is out of the picture, I am not a shallow guy that runs when he doesn't get his way so breaking up is out of the picture. I guess all in all I want to get her to open up to me in this hard time she is going through. Thanks for your advice

let me ask you something first... are you willing to spend your life with your girl knowing that you will never become a father with her?

i have a cousin. he loved his girlfriend so much. but just before they were about to be married, he discovered that she could not have a baby. he didn't push through with the wedding because of this. the girl was devastated. she loved my cousin but realized he didn't love her that much because he didn't accept her as infertile. yet, the girl felt it was unfair for her to keep my cousin because he may want to have a baby which she cannot give. i really admired that woman because of what she did.

are you willing to accept her even if she will not have a baby by you? do you love her that much?

because if you do, then we can talk about how to help you and her talk about the things you need to consider and why she is being aloof with you. she must have her reasons why she is doing this to you.

sincerely,

leila

ps: if you really want to talk... lets.

I am willing to accept that she may not be able to have children, and I have already accepted that. I would be a shallow jerk if I left her because of that (no offence to your cousin). I love her very much. I love her for her not for what she can do for me/us (example= have children) and she knows this. I would not leave her for the world.

Thanks,

Tony

P.S. There is always adoption

well, your reply was most refreshing. if i were your fiancé, i would be truly overwhelmed with your love.

you said that she is going through a lot right now, with her discovery of her sickness and her volunteer job. is that why she hardly spends time with you? there could be something else. but then again, knowing about the endo thing could really devastate a woman. believe me, i know what my cousin's girlfriend went through. eventhough adoption is still possible, but, we women know what it is to have truly our own child. i am gussing this is what your girlfriend is going through right now, knowing that shemay not have her own kids.

i really hope i am wrong and that there is maybe yet another problem she is facing which you have to find out. the best thing to do right now is to let her breath for a while. but do not fade away from her. i know you cannot do that, anyway. i can sense your deep love for her. but sometimes, especially when a woman faces a personal crisis, she wants to face it alone. yes, you it is true that when you are married or engaged already, you become one. but a woman has some problems that she has to handle by herself. this makes her stronger.

give her space, tony. she may be experiencing a different kind of "joy" with other people around her in her work. but that doesn't mean her feelings for you have abated even just a little.

well... i've said a handful... tellme what you think and feel free to disagree with me.

leila